I felt it was coming, we all knew it was, but looking down at the number on the phone I took a deep breath and answered. It was Stephanie who could only whisper to me between her gasps for a breath. Mike had passed. There was a long pause, both of us sharing a moment to take our emotions to grief that we all prayed would come sooner rather than later. I said a prayer over the phone as it was a moment to thank God for Mike being in our lives.
ALS is a nasty disease, and you feel guilt when you first think, "Please Lord let this inevitable conclusion come quickly." If only a thought, you chase it out of your mind and think how callous it is to wish someone close to you, to move even a minute closer to their last day into your consciousness. As your loved one continues to erode his family certainly was praying to free him from his suffering and finally ascend. We all want time, as much as we possibly can, with those we love. Another day with them here is certainly better than one without. This disease changes that, and robs you of your hope, for you know the end is near.
Mike and I were golfing buddies til he could play no more. Riding when he could walk no more. A sad stage for him was watching us play when his faculties left him, finally relegated to then whispering banter when he could do no more than hear us regale him with our round. He slipped into a bedridden state and it was hard to see him so near to death. We tried our best to converse with good natured ribbing that we all do with our friends during and after our rounds. Somehow we hoped this was getting into Mike, although we could tell no more.
Mike had played Augusta National once, as his next door neighbor would be a future ANGC greens keeper whose father one day called and asked a newlywed Mike can you play this coming Monday? Mike would tell me in this story that he had no money and a newborn, but he thought to himself if his wife said no he would consider a divorce. She agreed and he charged an airfare on his CC that they couldn't pay, but had the highlight of his golfing life that day. He was coincidentally paired with John Smoltz and Tom Glavine, along with the greens keeper's father. I won't bore with details, but it gets to the crux of our relationship.
Mike knows that all golfers share common dreams and certainly playing ANGC is one of mine, which he knew. Although I never asked, only envied his round, he promised he would give me a call one day and I should be ready. I didn't bother to ask what his connection was, but he claimed to have one and was working on it for quite a while. He called once on very short notice and I had to decline as I was here in Saudi Arabia with a extremely important university visit for our Chairman of the Board and Minister of Energy I was coordinating. He would tease me I had my chance, but always kept trying. He would tell me he wanted me to enjoy what he felt that day as every golfer should at least once in their lives. His last saying to me when we would see each other or on a phone call was, "be ready." That was Mike, generous and unselfish, almost embarrassed to have enjoyed something he couldn't share with others. He would later encapsulate this as the scene from Into The Wild where at the end the young man living on his own in the wilderness dies after writing in his diary, "Happiness is only real if shared." How true that is.
Steph and I talked for a while and she said that several days ago Mike communicated via eye blinks (he couldn't speak for a while) to tell Jeff to, "be ready".
I'm being sentimental here because I know we share a love of golf as Mike and I did. Mike could be me, you, or easily be your golfing buddy as well, but let this remind us to cherish the time this game allows us to develop and nurture the friends and family love we enjoy. Not many things we do in this world allows us to connect and share 4 hours together. With today's world of email, texts, etc. golf is really unique for me and I suspect many of you. It has allowed me to create great friendships and spend many hours creating memories with my dad and brother. Golf truly forms lifelong bonds for a lifetime of memories.
Mike if you are reading this, "I'm ready."
RIP