Plantation is a given, even if cored really, and you will be there at the back end of the recovery.
I played the Bay for the first time this past November, and I was pleasantly surprised. Can't say much for the value though as it's pricey and not the Plantation.
I enjoyed the Dunes at ML in one play about 10-15 years ago...it's a locals kind of place, which is generally a good thing in Hawaii. I have not played Kahili or King Kamehameha. Kaanapali is not that great, but rather convenient to the resort areas around Lahaina. My advice there is to eat at Roy's in their clubhouse, but skip the golf!
We spent a week on Maui in November in a rented house about a half-mile from the center of Lahaina, and we had my 4 yr old and 5-month old in tow, along with five other family members in my parents' generation.
Non-golf stuff: My 4-yr old loved the yellow submarine thing (it stays on the surface, but you sit under the water)...my wife and I are scuba divers, and it was really fun showing her some of the stuff we see when we dive...they have a couple divers that bring stuff up to the windows like sea urchins, an octopus, etc. so the kids can see up close. Super-touristy, but fun nonetheless...takes like 45mins, maybe $30/pp, and there are coupons everywhere.
Baby Beach just north of Lahaina is PERFECT for the little ones...barely any surf (almost zero), great views of Lanai, and great reefs complete with turtles if you want to snorkel.
Restaurants: So many great ones, you can't go too wrong. Roy's is great, and sort of a Hawaii institution. Mama's Fish House is 1h15m from Lahaina back past the airport in Paia, but one of the best restaurants I've ever been to. The Sea House (near Kapalua) is rather traditional but very good. My wife and I splurged at the Lahaina Grill (more of a fine-dining experience), which was excellent. The Paia Fish Market across from the Banyan Tree in Lahaina is a great lunch spot with huge portions. If you make the drive up to Haleakala...we did, was 45 degrees and blowing 60mph at the top above 10K feet of elevation...a good and unique lunch spot on the way down (or up) is the Kula Lodge. They specialize in brick-oven pizza, and have some neat gardens, a small art gallery, and a solid souvenir shop across the parking lot.
Let me know if you have questions, and skip Bubba Gump and Cheeseburger in Paradise!