John,
My suggestion would be to purchase a refurbished 60D from Canon, which is essentially a new camera that has been thoroughly checked out. I've got one and use it often for the same thing you're looking for. If I'm getting serious about something, then I pull out my 5D Mark III, but in order to take advantage of the really expensive camera, you've got to be pretty advanced. Otherwise, you're driving a Formula Car on the freeway. It also does not sound like you need a full frame sensor (the 60D and 7D have APS-C sensors) and the 60D is also handy for home movies because of the flip-out, adjustable screen.
If you are going to spend money on something, I'm a huge proponent of purchasing so-called "L Lenses." The build on them is terrific and you'll get far sharper results. Remember, there are always trade-offs in photography. The longer the zoom, the slower it will be - and the Canon EF lenses are mushy at their widest apertures, so for anything below f5.6, it might be best to push the ISO.
My favorite lens for shooting head shots and portraits is the Canon 100mm-L (fixed focal length). That is one to have in your arsenal. Don't let the sales guy talk you into the "Nifty 50mm" f1.8 lens. You might as well take $99 and flush it down the loo. However, the Canon 50mm f1.4 lens is absolutely terrific and will be the most versatile (and portable) glass you'll ever find.
If you want to take a gigantic step up and grow with your camera, then go get a 5D Mark II. You can get a refurbished one for $1400 and the practical difference between the II and III won't be apparent unless you shoot quite a bit in extremely low light - like 10 foot candles or less. The JPEG images you'll get on the Mark II with the camera set on full automatic are pretty impressive.
Everybody seems to like Lightroom, but I find that Aperture for fine polishing and iPhoto for quicky corrections works extremely well. I'm a MAC guy, so it could be my prejudices for all things Apple. Really, the best thing is to get the shot as close as possible in-camera, which takes practice in terms of settings. Shoot Raw when you mean it and best of luck.
Photography, like golf architecture, is a form of madness in which you may exhaust yourself, but never your subject.