Gents, I think the world of you, but have we really come to this? Really - three pages on playing the 15th "strategically", with a putter? Okay, before you step away from the keyboard, please do me this favour. Imagine this:
Loving Wife: "Honey, what's the matter?"
You: "Oh, nothing".
Loving Wife: "Really? Because you've not seemed yourself all day.
You: "No, it's nothing".
Loving Wife: "Please tell me. It almost feels like you're depressed or something"
(pause)
Loving Wife: "Come on - what is it, what's on your mind?"
You: "Well..."
Loving Wife: "Go ahead. You know you can tell me anything - whatever it is".
(pause)
You: "Well, okay, thanks. Well, did you know, I mean, can you even believe it? Let me start again. You know how the Masters is coming up, right, in just a couple of weeks?
(pause)
Loving Wife: "This is about golf?"
You: "Yes, and you know what I found out today? I can't believe -- ooh, it makes me so angry! Do you know that you can't play the 15th hole at Augusta with a putter!! THEY DON'T ALLOW FOR IT". It was once the height of strategic golf, that course, and now look at it - a shadow of it's former self! They killed it, don't you see? They killed it. Oh, I'm telling you, it has bummed me out all day".
(pause)
You: "Honey - honey, did you hear me?"
Loving Wife: "Yes - yes, I did"
You: 'Then what is it - you seem, like, sick to your stomach..."
Loving Wife: "Get out"
You: "What...?"
Loving Wife: "Get out, right now please. Before I call the police".
You: "But you said..."
Loving Wife: "You have lost your mind. You are out of your mind! Ah - my mother was right about you all along".