So, we arrange for the first tee off time of the day at Pebble Beach, 6:40 am.
We arrive a little after 6:00, check in, pay our fees and inform the staff that we are very, very fast players.
The staff looks at us as if to say, "yeah, we've heard that one before". So my friend says to the Starter and staff, "No, we're serious, we're very fast players". My friend then says, "you know, in all the time I've spent in the Grille room, I've never heard a golfer say, 'I'm a slow golfer'. Everyone says they play fast, but we really are fast". So then my friend asks, " Are you having a 4th join us ?"
The Starter says "yes"
My friend says, "I think I saw him in the Pro Shop renting clubs". So, we rollout eyes and my friend says to the starter, " I hope he plays fast"
Now, this nice young fellow comes up to the tee and introduces himself.
My friend says, "what's your handicap ?" He says, "24"
So I say to him, " I don't mean to be impolite or rude, but, we're very fast players and hope that you don't find that unsettling.
We have an 11:00 tee off time at another course and intend to play Pebble in 2:30.
If at any time you feel rushed or uncomfortable, please tell us, and we'll proceed ahead and you can play at your leisure.
He asks me, " do you guys putt ? I say, "sure, unless it's a gimme, and, we don't stand on formality, if someone's away, but not ready to hit, and another is, we play away.
In addition to having another round scheduled, our desire to be the first to tee off centered around my friend, whose last round at Pebble took him 6:20, and he swore that he would never play Pebble again unless he got the first time out.
Our third, a local, had arranged the first tee time and indicated that we're fast players and wouldn't hold up the field.
We're introduced to the Caddy, Gene, and I say to the Starter, "what, you couldn't find a good caddy at 6:30"
We laugh and introduce ourselves.
So, on the tee we get the customary rules of the day, including the expectation that we should complete the round in 4:30.
We laugh and ask if we can tee off now as it's no longer dark.
We're told, "NO" you have to wait until 6:40. So,we do.
We all hit good drives and now our newly acquired 4th tees up with a 5-iron and we look at each and think, "oh no, this is going to take forever."
But to our surprise, his backswing is graceful, his left arm, ramrod straight and he hits a great 5-iron right down the middle.
He knocks his next shot on and makes par,and that's when I ask him if he's available for member-guests.
So now we continue and all of us play well until we arrive at the 4th tee.
At the fourth tee, a Marshall, Jim, approaches us.
He's a friendly and delightful fellow.
A fellow who will interact with us on more than a few occasions.
He says, "you know, I've never done this before, but, I'm going to have to ask you to SLOW DOWN.
We say, "what ?" He says, "you're playing to fast, you've caught up to the maintenance crew and they're upset"
So I say, "tell them one of two things, tell them to maintain faster, or just let us play through.
We really don't care if the bunkers aren't raked or if the course isn't in pristine condition, we're having fun and playing decently, so it's not a problem for us"
He says, "the 6:50 group isn't in the 2nd fairway yet"
We say, "we really don't care about the 6:50 group.
We tell a few jokes, kid around, and he tells us to play away.
Despite the delay and disruption to our playing rhythm, we all hit good drives and continue.
As we walk up onto the 7th tee, Jim comes over to talk to us again.
He says, "you're really playing too fast. The 6:50 group hasn't finished # 3 yet. You'll have to slow down"
We say, "we don't know how to slow down"
He says, "why don't you go back and play the 5th and 6th holes again"
We look at each other and I say, "we really don't want to do that."
So he says, "why don't you play # 7 a few times"
We say, "we don't want to do that either"
So, we tell more jokes and have a good time with Jim until he gives us the all clear, then, we play away.
We're now on # 9 tee when another Marshall pulls up and says, "I heard about you guys, slow down"
Now my friend is incensed and says, I didn't get up at 5:00 am to slow down. I could have slept another hour. plus, you're ruining our rhythm"
So, he says, "after this hole, it should be clear sailing". And we hit away.
We get to # 14 green and they're raking the bunkers, so we have to wait.
The 6:50 group isn't on the 6th green yet.
We get to # 17, and there's Jim again.
We B.S., have a few laughs and hit away.
We walk off # 18 in less than 3:20, and, we're annoyed as we were held up for at least 45 minutes and should have played in 2:30, allowing us to run some errands prior to our 11:00 tee time.
So I say to our group, "we should get a refund or a Pro Shop credit.
All agree.
So I first speak to the Starter, a very nice young man who has the look of horror on his face when he sees me..
he asks "what happened ?". obviously assuming that we had a problem and that we had to abort the round.
so i say, "nothing happened, except that we were held up and should have been in 45 minutes ago, and that we want a refund.
He says, "you'll have to speak to the Pro Shop.
So, I go into the Pro-shop and talk to a nice woman behind the counter, who really can't believe what she's hearing.
She tells me that she'll have to talk to her boss.
So, I say that would be nice.
She then locates him and I tell him what happened and that we should get a refund.
I told him that we deliberately asked for the first time of the day and that NO ONE told us that we would be held up if we played at a brisk pace.
I told him that we each paid about $ 500 so that we could enjoy a nice round at Pebble Beach and that we got up at 5:00 am just to do so.
Are you ready ?
He now informs me that they promote and expect play to be in 4:30.
So I say, "why would you promote slow play ? If you promote and expect the first group to play in 4:30, succeeding groups will cause play to slow down and that's why rounds will take 5:30 and 6:30, and golfers will resent that and the resort won't be able to get as many rounds in.
So, he says, how long did it take you to play ?
I say, "3:20". He says, "that's incredibly fast, no one plays that fast."
I say, " we should have played in 2:30 and at a Garden City Golf Club, you're warned not to take more than 3:30.
So he says, what do you want me to do ?
I say, thinking, that this will never happen, "we want a refund."
He's now "Bambi in the headlights"and not very sympathetic to my request.
He goes on to restate that they promote play in 4:30, so I counter and say, why would you promote such a slow round ?
Why wouldn't you promote 3:30 or 4:00 ?
That once you promote 4:30, by mid day you're at 5:30 and 6:30 and that's one of the reasons that golf isn't growing, it takes to long to play and you're promoting slow play.
My fellow golfers now leap in and tell him that the constant interruptions and delays ruined their rounds.
He's unsympathetic, and do you know why ?
Because they've got every tee time slot filled.
That there are legions who will pay the freight and suffer through rounds of 4:30, 5:30 and 6:30.
When we finished playing our 4th said that he had a good time.
He was a nice fellow, so we invite him to be our 4th for our 11:00 tee time at MPCC, but, he can't make it as he has to be in San Francisco in the afternoon.
I understand the tourist nature of the Monterey Peninsula, and the divergent nature of the golfers playing, but why promote slow play, why not promote loftier goals that will lead to greater enjoyment by more golfers ?
Why schedule tee times where reasonably paced golfers will have to be throttled back
Or, why not start maintenance earlier, like ANGC, and then promote FAST PLAY ?