Disturbed by my witness to Shinnecock's ridiculous presentation... greatly irritated by Winged Foot's use of Warp Viagra green speeds during its recent M/G, which make playing "safeties" 6 and 10 and 15 feet from many hole locations a valid strategy...and thoroughly disgusted by fresh visits to Knollwood, and Whippoorwill among others, I'm ready to unleash a hateful thread on the classic cohort I know the best.
These are souring holes, holes where you're forced to a narrow range of shots, forced to carry or forced to lay back...holes that rely on semi and fully blind shots that carry no zest or rewarding reveal but wicked hazards and lost balls ...holes that play up and down mountains...holes that don't accentuate their "best" features (if any)...holes, that if grouped, would be the single unfriendliest course in one of the best worldwide golf districts for its architecture.
... by the hole numbers.
#1 Ardsley - 362 yds - Fittingly, there will probably as little argument will be offered here as any single hole in my list, as it is probably the worst hole on any course of any vintage... (truly, "#1 in your program and #1 in your heart) You might figure a pond, a giant willow and a 100 foot cliff drop in tee elevation would never cause such angst. You would be wrong. Because these things conspire as they do, it essentially is two lousy par 3s in a row; one a drop shot to a target so far below you, you do not see the result. The next a short iron over the pond (and the willow) off the expected mushy fairway turf that necessarily rests at the bottom of such a cliff. Make your par(s), take your 6 and hopefully your car is parked in the lot closest to this first green, so you can go home.
#2 Knollwood - 405 yds - This near 90 degree dogleg left has so much going for it that its hard to pick...is it the severe reverse camber wherein a tee shot aimed must a paper-width inside OB left to remain in the fairway?....Or is that the tee shot on this one and only line must be hit between 225 and 250 yards - no more, no less - to remain in play for approach? Is it the mostly blind second to a punchbowl green where the bowl is maintained as velcro-esque second cut, thus preventing balls from releasing into green?...Or is it the excruciating walk UP to the tee, DOWN to the fairway, UP to the green and UP steps to the next tee? If you know Knollwood's extensive course history, it will make you pine for the Van Etten member course of the 1890s. Lastly, an elite tournament player of today will simply bash his 3 wood or driver over and through the inside corner to about 85 yards in the right rough...where he will gouge a 58 degree wedge...boring for him, but bad for us back at the tee.
#3 - Apawamis - 340 yds - Apawamis is the undisputed King of Quirk in these (or most any) parts but #3 (aptly named "Dipper") shows the arcane limitations of those turn of century Dunn, Park, Emmet routings which took the only plausible turns hilly, rocky properties would allow their builders. Though the fairway ends twice, at 255 and after with a second tiny pad at 290, the problem isn't the tee shot, which is actually kind of attractive if narrow. The issue is the approach which is played blind, over a 25 foot cliff to a tiny, vicious green with exposed rock and two framing bunkers, with death immediately beyond. Though shorter by a bit, this approach is kind of like playing #7 at Pebble from in front of the 6th green.
#4 - Rockrimmon CC 370 yds - This course is a mixture of 11 RTJ originals, and 7 Orrin Smith varied executions of the original RTJ 18 hole plan, so it's hard math as to where to assign the blame. The chief culprit here is a blind tee shot to a sunken fairway which is bisected and bordered on the left by connected ponds at 230 yards out from the tee...go 232 and you're in the drink....go 15 yards to the left, you're in the drink. Because that blind distance is right in the sweet netherworld of "too far to carry with driver" (for most) and "too short to chance catching a good 3-wood," 80% of players end up scaling way back with a hybrid or utility and thus leave themselves 155 to 180 yards to approach an otherwise mid short hole. Add to this that the green is only interesting when cut at 11+ and you have a pretty unsatisfactory sequence.
#5 - Pelham CC - 170 yds - Drop shot par 3s are usually uninteresting pulls of a slot-machine and unfortunately they make all too frequent appearance on Westchester courses, so there were several to pick from. Besides the usual boring absence of any strategic or tactical choices, this one gets particular pique for its shoehorned-in, up and back routing place in the property, the bland but smothering bunkers on three sides, and let us not forget the apartment complex that looms over the tee, which itself offers stunning views of I-95 in the distance.
#6 - Sleepy Hollow 475 yds - Sorry for the sacrilege of an otherwise treasured venue, but this hole stinks; it has always stunk, and until some broader, wider, shorter way of conquering the tee shot hill (an abrupt 25 foot rise of rough at 200 out requiring a carry of 230 - 240) is developed it will be one of the worst holes on a first rate course of historical interest... For the 75% of golfers who cannot conquer that hill combined with the 25% who try and fail, the hole is just a blind awful mess...requiring an 180 yard shot off the tee, a blind shot of 280 with none of the thrills of rescuing or tackling what is offered/conjured/praised (by some) as a half par hole. Those players who are still in play, but short of and/or buried in that hill essentially inaugurate a blind hole where none of the remaining features (Principal Nose, pinched approach, green contour) are seen or ventured...That Principal's Nose in particular has no meaning for any player ...if you're short of the hill off the tee, you can't see it, if you carry the hill, it's not in play...what is the point?
#7 Whippoorwill 415 yards - The Timeline review on this site gushes about Whippoorwill as a rediscovered gem of Banksian architecture and I'd love to go blow for blow with that entire piece, but I'll limit such a retort to including this hole (praised as a Wow moment and among W's best in that tour) in my rogues gallery of Classic Westchester... the tee shot plays more as a visual gimmick than brilliant routing find...you only apprehend the route of the hole, you don't see how to follow it as only the first corner of safe grass is visible and that's no line of play...plus, you discover that the optimum tee shot is 255 to 265, (no more ! no less!) aimed in the left rough...still the disappointment here is the "Punchbowl" green...which is no Punchbowl at all, just a suggestion of such features with a built up rim...an open run -up approach...and a green interior that is merely got a big pitch back to front, almost convex...(like a spreading shell-back) and the longish, uphill shot that the quizzical tee shot will leave most of us doesn't lend it itself to the contours properties...also the rear "rim" of the ball may prevent some hot shots from traveling long, but it doesn't release balls back into the surface...lastly, it is here that near every two shot hole at Whip will require a blind, uphill approach...by 13, you're tired of it...hard to get satisfaction from strategizing/enjoying to and around green contours you can't appreciate from the fairway most of the time...this hole is symptomatic of bad hilly property for a golf course...
#8 Hudson National 249/225/161 yds... This is a hole that's 90% forced carry over yellow-hazard wetlands to what was designed and existed for one season as a Biarritz green of 53 yards in front to back length. After season #1, 1996, the "trough" of the Biarritz was mostly "filled-in" and now presents as a more of a two tier affair (there is still a slight dip at the shelf). In addition to the surface being just above eye-level, the steep 10 yards of approach turf before the green is maintained as closely mown, whereby shots that don't fully reach the front edge, roll back into the edge of/hazard itself, robbing the player of a lively up and down pursuit to save a 3, turning it into a unfortunate fight to go no more than 5... I put up the three men's tee numbers to illustrate just how vastly different the white and blue/black experience of the hole (and course) is...from the blue/black the hole is a hit and hope/medal play ender... from the white, it is a boring 6/7 iron to a 50 x 30 surface above eye level, with the hazard waiting for a scuffy hit...the only saving grace of this hole is the closely mown area to the immediate short-right of the surface, instituted in recent years.
#9 - Hampshire CC - 200 yds - What worse way to close a Worst Front Nine than with two consecutive one-shot holes? The crime here is boring and uninspiring (and on a course with two other one-shots very like it in character)... it's no better than a range pad holding a "200 yard flag" ....a 25 x 20 oval surrounded by banal bunkers on three sides... (from 7 o clock to 4 o clock)...there's a slight dip across the yardage, but otherwise flat...the green has no special character or amusement...it's such a rote golf hole, when a long 1-shotter can hold such opportunities. I have to concede that few would think to put Hampshire on a roster of Classic Westchester, but it does have vintage, an interesting property history and Emmet design bones in its sediment layers. It actually has a worse reputation than it deserves, for it does have a handful of nice holes (2, 3, 12, 16, 18) and some holes that might be good if the property weren't confined by its neighborhood.