[JakaB]

I know most people on this site really don't like playing by the rules (including me) because they piss off our friends and make the game "real".  Poorly dressed fat white guys don't "get real".  So, I ask....what are examples of your favorite rules waivers as examplified by my true story below:

I'm playing on a well conditioned course with a friend who plays winter rules everyday of the year....this time we all agree to play the ball down and proceed thru 15 holes pretty much playing a legit game.  On his approach to 16 he sprays the ball in 4" rough a chips to the green.  Now the fun starts.  When he goes to mark his ball..He says "Oh Shit, I've hit the wrong ball, what do I do now." I say.."add two"  He drops to his knees on the green is disbelief and begs for a re-due...and I give in.   The wrongly hit ball rule is a bitch and could use a change because now every time that guy is in the rough he picks his ball up to eye level to identify it and replaces as he chooses...note: I used to play 50 rounds a year with the guy and now play 5..and when we do we don't play any rules at all except how many.

This is why rule waivers are never free.

[david h. carroll]

"Leaf rule" in fall has become a year rounder for many

[Michael Moore]

Good "leaf rule" story here.

Four of us used to play once a year strictly by the rules, in what we called The Tour Championship. We are at the spectacular Samoset resort in Rockland, Maine.

First hole, first shot, my buddy attempts to invoke the leaf rule.

Third hole, par three, my buddy hooks one into the ocean and then takes a ridiculous drop. The whole notion of playing by the rules is now out the window. Some people just can't do it.

I am recounting the first three holes to my non-golfing extremely skeptical brother. He responds "Why didn't he just invoke the 'ocean rule?' " Classic!

[david h. carroll]

another classic--moving things in a hazard.

[ChasLawler]

I've got a buddy who would only use the same lucky ball (a Titleist Professional with his company's logo) for about 4 years to putt with.  Tee to green he would use whatever he could find, but never that lucky ball. I don't know how many times I told him he was cheating, but he never gave my warnings any attention. It took getting DQ'd from the the 3rd flight of the club championship for him to wise up. His excuse when confronted by the head pro after one of his playing partners had turned him in was that he had used it to putt in the last 2 club championships and no one had seemed to mind.

[Patrick_Mucci]

JakaB,

Didn't it annoy you when the nuns waived rulers in your face ?

The 14 club rule seems to be violated excessively.

At the exit from the men's locker room at Southern Hills, there is a sign above the door that reads to the effect that:

When the rules are broken at leisure,
The game ceases to be golf.

That sign should reside above every locker room door.

[JakaB]

Cabbbel,

love that story...Last year in a Ryder Cup event against a course in the town next to home my opponent carried his yellow shafted warm up iron in his cart during the match...Made for 15 clubs.  I gave him a pass without saying a thing....I let down my team for the sake of civility.  I am ashamed.

[JakaB]

Patrick,

I was a very bad child and was beat continuously...warnings were futile.   One reason I hate Phil M. is that he stated in Golf Digest that he carries 15 clubs during practice rounds...gives every damn cheater an excuse during friendly betting matches to carry that 7 wood I would love to have at the expense of a wedge I can't live without.   As a matter of fact I am very close to replacing my current 60, 58, 54, and W with a 60, 56 and W just so I can carry a 7 wood.  Cheating not only improves your score and can be considerably cheaper.

[Patrick_Mucci]

Jaka B,

AH, but at what ultimate price ?

Your soul, your character ?

Unless of course, you're playing against TEPaul.

In that case, use as many clubs as you want.

The man can only count as high as his fingers will allow, so once you're over ten (10), it's all a blur to him.

P.S.  Make sure that your hands are in your pockets when he's counting, you don't want to give him any assistance.

[david h. carroll]

Playing in our club's Ryder Cup (over 40's vs. under 40's) and great comeraderie...opponent has caddy who is watching tee shots land at number 6--dog leg par 5 over a barn--I play first, drive over barn, figure if ball's not in middle of fariway it would be just through in the rough...walk out to fairway, can't find ball....ask caddy if he saw it..."yeah, it's right over there in the rough"...don't find ball in rough...announce I'll be hitting a provisional, go back to tee, proceed to hit ball on same line as original...this time opponent's caddy knows where ball is and guess what?--ball one is right next to it...I holler down the fairway to opponent, "found ball 1" and proceed to play it....make what I think is par, he walks to next tee and announces that he's one up...HUH?...he says I played wrong ball because ball 1 was deemed lost due to 5 minute rule....I turn to him and ask where his watch was that put me on the clock and thanks for announcing it, A-HOLE....lose match 1 down

[JohnV]

My regular group of 4 would play four-ball stroke play gross battles every weekend.  I kept trying to get them to switch to match play or even Stableford, but one of the other guys said he wanted all of my 8 or 9 to count.

So, if we were going to play stroke play by the rules we were going to require all putts to be holed.  This was also good practice because we all played in enough tournaments to keep in "shape" on those 2 and 3 footers.   One of our players was not the best putter in the world (or even in any two ball at the club.)  At times he would miss short putts and usually followed this with a very loud "FFFFFuck" (we called it the delayed release

Sometimes he would get so mad he would just bang the ball away from the hole and walk off to the next tee.  Invariably one of the members of the other team would ask, "Bill, what did you make there?", which led to more expletives.

Finally we had to relent and start conceding putts "within the leather" or he would have quit playing with us and it was more fun to have him there than not.  But, we did it the old fashioned way from the butt end down, not from the head of the club up.  Also, we called them "grippers" not "within the leather."  As in, "That's a gripper."

One other thing we did was put in a "bonus" rule which said that if both players on the team scored under par on a hole, the team got the combined value.  So two birdies became an eagle for the team.  Because we were in Portland, this became known as the "Sabonis" rule.  So, frequently making two birdies was referred to as, "Laying the big Lithuanian on them."

[Jeff Fortson]

Here's the best rules scenario I've heard in a long time.....

I tried qualifying for the GHO on Monday and played with a good player from the Nationwide Tour that told me this story about a Local U.S. Open Qualifier he played in 2 or 3 years ago.....

The "Not-to-be-named" Nationwide Tour player got paired with a guy who appeared to not belong in the qualifier since after three holes he was 9 over par.  On the 4th hole this guy hooks his ball into some serious gunch.  After about 6 or 7 minutes of looking for his ball the guy looks at the Nationwide Tour player and says, "Well, I guess that's it guys.  Good Luck the rest of the way."  The Nationwide Tour player replied, "What do you mean that's it?  Just go back to the tee and hit another ball and take the 2-shot penalty for a lost ball."  The guy then says, "I can't.  Aren't we playing the One-Ball Rule?"

This guy thought the One-Ball Rule meant that you could only use one ball for the entire round and if you lost it, you were done.  So, in full belief of this rule he only brought one ball with him.  He had to quit because he didn't have a ball to play with.

This is absolutely one of the funniest stories I have heard in a while.  The USGA let one slip through the cracks there.  Absolutely amazing!

Jeff F.

[JohnV]

Darren, the penalty for teeing off in front of the markers in stroke play is 2 strokes and you must correct it before you tee off from the next tee or you are DQ'ed.

The reason for this is that if you didn't have a rule like that, a player could go up to the green, place the ball on the edge of the hole and tap in for a 1.  When everyone shot 18, you would have one heck of a playoff.  Even if you just gave two strokes for that action, every would shoot 54 and the playoff would begin.

In match play, you opponent can ignore it and if you do it, he can ask you to replay it.  So, if I stripe it down the middle, he could ask for the replay, but if wack it into the woods, he can laugh and say, "See you at the green"

I agree that lots of people do tee it up in front of the markers.  I even know of one group that called it, "Doing the Naccarato."

[Patrick_Mucci]

Darren Kilfara,

How far in front of the markers can you tee it up before it becomes a penalty, one foot, one yard, 30 yards ?

Are you sure that no penalty is invoked for teeing up outside of the designated teeing area ?  

I think you'll find that the USGA assesses a two shot penalty, plus the ball must be replayed from inside the designated teeing area.

Failure to follow this procedure by playing the ball hit from outside the teeing area will result in disqualification.

Darren, did you modify and erase your post ?

[Michael Moore]

The penalty for teeing it up in front of the markers is me inquiring "Are you going play the whole course today?" in front of everyone.

I believe Jack Nicklaus used to break that one out.

A stunningly common violation.

[ForkaB]

Shivas

Before I mastered the CLAW(tm) I used to sometimes carry 3 putters.  I just took out two other clubs in my bag.  Not exactly rocket science.  You, being the monster hitter that you are, probably could get around any course with Driver, rescue club, 8 wedges and 4 putters.  Try it sometime, and don't forget to practice putt with your 4 sticks as long as you aren't holding up your group or the group behind.........

[Darren_Kilfara]

Jeez, you guys are quick. Immediately after I posted about teeing off in front of the tee markers, I went to the USGA rules website to make sure I was right - and I wasn't. (There's no stroke-penalty as such in match play...at least I knew that one!) I hoped to delete my post before anyone noticed, and thought I had done. Oh well!

Cheers,
Darren

[Dan Kelly]

Jeff Fortson --

Great story. Thanks.

Reminds me of a guy I work with who, when the Tommy Armour irons came out, bought some -- and, later that summer, was heard to say: "I don't know what's so great about the Tommy Armour 845s. The guy ain't doin' shit on the Tour!"

[JakaB]

Shivas,

Is the moving out of footprints strickly a public course rule...I can't see you or any other corn fed lad from Illinois asking for relief at Medinah.   Do you take a drop when you get footprint relief or simply tee the ball up willy/nilly.

[A_Clay_Man]

I  must be one of those great golfers, like Ben Curtis(just ask him) because when Im in a footprint I salivate and really get off on the challenge. My fav is buried under the lip with just a dime size piece of the ball showing.
Hitting ahead of the markers is the clear winner on the orig Q. Peoples perspectives are so subjectively askew that they cannot tell, unless they are focused on what they are doing. Same is true with their set-up and ultimate swing. Perspectively off.

[JakaB]

Spike marks...do they really exist with soft spikes.  I just don't see them anymore and question if you can tap down the really bad ones.   I have to admit I would assume most green blemishes to be not soft spike marks but something else and thus fixable.

I owe it to JohnV and this board for not allowing a friend (one who takes great pleasure in playing the game by the most strick interpretation of the rules) relief from animal prints in a bunker....could have been deer but someone said it was bobcat because it looked like a fight had taken place.   Well as the story of course goes after I refused relief he got up and down and I three putted...another lost hole for me.

[JohnV]

Jeff, your story was great.  I love the one about the mother who was watching her son play a junior event down in Georgia who came up to the official and asked when the kids were going to be allowed to use carts.  He said they didn't allow carts.  She said, "Well I keep hearing about this 90 degree cart rule and it must be at least 98 degrees out here!"

I once had to DQ a professional after his first hole of a pro-am because they were playing the one-ball rule and he lost all three he had brought with him on that hole.  He just continued with a different ball and we counted his score for his amatuer partners since the one-ball rule didn't apply for that portion of the event (and they had paid $2500 a piece to play in it.)

[Jeff Goldman]

I do not think I have ever seen the lost ball or OB rule followed once the group leaves the tee on a public course.  Imagine if you will what would happen if the group drives off, can't fine one of the balls, and drives back so someone can re-tee in front of 2 foursomes waiting.  

Jeff Goldman

[JakaB]

I have stood on a tee and hit leaves off of overhanging trees because they piss me off....I am just a little more embarrassed by my love of this game after learning this is a violation of the rules.

I have also removed and replaced tee markers that are improperly placed fully understanding I could face suspension from my club if caught...I also tee off from wherever I may well damn please because I only play match play within my foresome.

I refuse to hit or watch someone else hit more than two balls off of any one tee...fore fitting the hole under my strange mix of match play/medal play rules.

I give lateral drops in direct relation to a players ability...any double digit handicap should be allowed to think they hooked the ball into the lateral hazard thus moving up the fairway when single digits must re-tee.

Anyone who asks for relief gets it...but really we all know if you have to ask you are not entitled...lf you are entitled to relief you don't ask you declare your intentions...

[david h. carroll]

I remember as a kid a golf etiquette class our pro taught and his explanation of the spike mark rule was that it's intent was to keep play moving...if there wasn't such a rule, again this was in the time of metal spikes only, play would be incredibly slow....don't know the veracity or relevance of this account, but seems to make sense

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