[Steve Strasheim]

I think the cause of all this is the parents falling prey to these vultures that peddle travel sports for little children as a way to get a leg up.  It's all based on parental insecurities.  I can assure you of one thing:  it's not the kids who want this.  

DS:

I'm not so sure of that. Of all the kids I know of that play on select, or travel teams, not one would say they don't want to do it. Perhaps when they get older and have done it for awhile. But early on travel teams are cool. You seem to suggest that parents are forcing their kids into select clubs. I just don't see that. Heck, the kid has to try out. If he didn't want to be on the team, it would be pretty easy not to make it.

The Connecticut Section PGA`s junior golf program only allows spectators at two of it`s competitions. The reason for this is that over zealous parents inserted themselves into situations time and time again to the detriment of their kids and the competitive process. The system works like a charm where kids keep each others cards and help each other with rulings. If there is an issue there is a rules guy close at hand. Additionally there are many kids that only feel pressure with a parent watching and this becomes a non issue under this system. High school golf in Connecticut has the same system with only coaches out on the course.

Tim,

I'm against that policy. They should have banned the trouble-making parents, not all parents. Parental observation of junior golf is in my opinion a good thing.

Steve-I will say that I enjoy watching my son play and he always seems glad when I am out there. That said what is your argument that makes parental observation a good thing. I am just wondering because I have mixed feelings on the issue.

Tim,

It's just such a pleasure to watch kids play and the kids want someone to be watching them so it encourages participation for both. That makes it a good thing right there. I also think that it keeps kids honest, which is important at that stage. In my limited experience with a then 10 year old, having parental observers was good for the tournament. Parents are also their coaches. They help their children learn from mistakes, but have to see the mistake to use it as a teaching moment.  I also saw first hand how parents can be disruptive, but don't feel those disruptions should cause every parent to be banned.

 

[Carl Nichols]

I agree 100% that kids' lives today are over-organized/structured, and it’s a shame.  But it's unclear to me that the sole or primary reason for that is parents wanting to push their kids, rather than being a reaction to other complicated forces.  I live in Washington, DC (i.e., literally in the District), and for safety-type reasons, my kids just aren't allowed to roam the streets and yards/houses of our neighbors the way my brother and I did, at least at the same age we were doing it, in suburban Hartford, CT.  As a result, parents here end up structuring things that used to simply happen spontaneously--the so-called "playdate" and related nonsense--starting at a really early age.  Once that starts, and everybody else is doing it, you’re off to the races and everything is scheduled ahead of time.  And by the time travel sports roll around at age 7 or whatever, kids’  lives are already super-structured—but not primarily, IMHO, because parents are pushing their 4-year-olds to be the next Mozart (although some of that does happen).

[Stuart Goldstein]

Honestly, who here with kids under 13 or so can actually recall having another kid come to your door unannounced to ask if your kid can come out to play?

Usually to busy on Faceboo, Play Station, etc.   At least the sports gets them out of the house.

[Paul OConnor]

Honestly, who here with kids under 13 or so can actually recall having another kid come to your door unannounced to ask if your kid can come out to play? 

Actually Dave, this happens a fair amount in my neighborhood, mostly with the younger kids.  It probably has alot to do with the parents in the neighborhood REALLY knowing each other well, and having the confidence that someone is always looking out for all the kids. 

[John Kavanaugh]

My 16 yr old son asked me this morning how Josh Hamilton could be so good and have a drug problem.  I told him that a large amount of what is both good and bad about us is genetic.  I then had my second donut.

[Mark Bourgeois]

Daily in my neighborhood, too, and for a while.

What does any of this have to do with USGA reserves?

[Kalen Braley]

Carl, the ironic thing about the playdate phenomenon is that it's all based on the fear of child molesters.  I've spoken with plenty of people in their 70s and 80s and asked them about this.   They all say the same thing:  that child molesters were no less prevalent in their day than they are today.  It's just that everybody found out about it and ran the guy out of town on a rail.  The modern parental belief that child molesters are a danger of modern society is 100% media driven - every time some cute little girl gets abducted, Greta milks it for 3 months worth of ratings.   They were around then, parents took precautions, and made sure those SOBs didn't get anywhere near their kids - same as today.  But it didn't stop kids from spontaneous play and we all turned out alright.  

I also once asked my mom about the priests "back in the day".  Her response:  "now you know why I didn't let you be an altar boy...any parent with their eyes open had their suspicions about Father [XXX]..."  

Despite what people may want to think, the outside forces that influence our decisions haven't changed as much over the past few decades as we'd want to believe.  Only the way we make our decisions has.  It was hard to get into Harvard 50 years ago, too, so a kid had to hit the books.  He didn't have to have a private tutor.  People had to protect their kids 50 years ago, too.  But they didn't have to helicopter over them and suffocate them.  And kids who wanted to make the major leagues or play pro golf or whatever had to work hard at it then, too.  But they didn't have to sign up for travel fricking T ball to make it.... and they still don't - no matter what the coach/pitchman says...

Dave,

As much as it kills me to do this, your post is a huge +1 in my book.

Back then, we never had any shortage of play time and me and the neighborhood guys were always doing something.  Now its all pre-arranged stuff, or dropping them off at the mall, or whatever.

Kids indeed do need to be kids....

[Steve Strasheim]

The conceit of today's parents is apparent with the child molester thing.  So many of them act as if they're the first generation of parents to be concerned about it, or take steps to prevent it or try to keep their kids safe....as if child molestation is some new phenomenon that just cropped up.  They aren't.  And it isn't.  Ask the ancient Greeks.  The only thing that's new here is the overhyped, nonstop news media circus every time a kid gets abducted - and the parental prophylactic overreaction to the media's overreaction.   It happened back then, too.  But Geraldo didn't camp out on the victim's doorstep for half a year afterwards...

Yes, there are new issues that parents have to deal with (mostly all technology-related), but making sure their kids are safe from child molester degenerates isn't one of them.  Our parents did it for us.  They just weren't arrogant enough to congratulate themselves for their enlightened parental vigilance skills in doing so.  and they also let us shoot hoops in the driveway without feeling the necessity of watching every second out the window....  

In defense of todays parents, you should also consider that they are being threatened in ways our parents never had to deal with. Nanny-state is not an understatement. You may go to jail and lose your kid to DSS if you fail to put a helmet on him before he crashes his bike.

I believe golf is missing an opportunity to get kids started in golf. Junior clinics and hitting chip shots into hula-hoops is not going to cut it. Kids want to play team sports with their friends. Why is it that kids can't play on a golf team until they are in high school where only a handful will be good enough to actually play? Every other sport has teams, even individual sports like wrestling, swimming etc. Not golf.

[Kalen Braley]

Steve,

It wouldn't be a problem if kids waited till high school to do the more adventerous stuff.

But I think Shivas makes a great point.  Should any kid under the age of 14 be travelling more than a 1/2 hour to play in any sports league?  I think the real problem, as with most issues, lies with the parents.

Parents live vicariously thru their kids, and every parent wants to think little Jimmy or Nancy can be a star someday..and so all this nonsense with traveling leagues has sprung up by others who want to cash in on misplaced hopes/dreams of the parents.

[Mark Bourgeois]

My guess too is the USGA sees its reserves as a litigation war chest, but my question is do they have a number in mind that, when reached, will trigger them to make the I&B rules changes?

[Steve Strasheim]

Kalen,

I agree with you and Shivas that travel teams have gotten out of control. But, I believe it is much more complicated than just trying to place it on parental dreams of greatness. Parents want their kids to be active and healthy. They want their kids to build confidence and experience success. Kids want to play on teams with their friends and be "select" at something. Neighborhood games don't exist anymore, the neighbor kids are playing on travel teams. It's a tough cycle.

As far as living vicariously through their kids, this is something that I'm very sensitive to. As a golf parent, it's hard not to be viewed in that fashion. Even something as simple as putting your kids in private lessons can be seen as parental ego by others. God forbid you take your kid to Scotland to play the Old Course.

Cheers!

[Kalen Braley]

Steve,

First let me be clear that playing golf with your kid and taking em on a vacation to travel is in no way living vicariously thru your kids.

I'm referencing to the over achiever parent who attends every practice, every game, makes their kid practice 2 hours everyday, attends the board meetings, whines and moans to the coach that your kid is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and otherwise arranges their entire non-work schedule around their kid and his/her sport.  That is living vicariously thru your kid IMO...and I have seen plenty of those.

But I will say, playing in organized sports doesn't matter one lick when it comes to building confidence.  I got just as much satisfaction/enjoyment in hitting a home run over Mr. Conleys house playing street ball, as I did in hitting a "real one" in an organized game. And as one who works in the tech industry, most of my work friends have never played sports in thier life....and there is no lack of ego or confidence at my work place, thats for darn sure.

Is it great to encourage kids to have a healthy active lifestyle?  Of course, but confidence can be found in doing just about anything, and quite frankly this myth that kids must be active in sports to be worthwhile is complete BS.

[Paul OConnor]

Dave,
Do your children fully appreciate how lucky they are to have a dad as great as you?  Can they adequately value your skill of recognizing and denouncing the hypocrisy of modern parents, while driving them to their next travel soccer game?  I will save you a spot, right next to mine, in the Parenting Hall of Fame. 

[Mike Sweeney]

Dave,
Do your children fully appreciate how lucky they are to have a dad as great as you?  Can they adequately value your skill of recognizing and denouncing the hypocrisy of modern parents, while driving them to their next travel soccer game?  I will save you a spot, right next to mine, in the Parenting Hall of Fame. 

Shivas,

I know it is tough out there living the high-powered dual-income sheltered, golfless, neighborless golden cage in Chicago. Just mooooooooooooooove to Maine and get it over with dude ! Mr Moore has a membership waiting at South Portland Municipal Golf Course. The guy has not left Maine for 10 years, so travel teams are out!

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