The Top 20 Failed Haggis Marketing Ploys (borrowed)
20. Freeze-dried Haggis, the official haggis of NASA
19. Haggis On a Stick
18. Kentucky Fried Haggis, in extra-crispy or the Colonel's Original secret recipe
17. Stove-Slop Haggis, instead of potatoes
16. Baaaaaa-B-Q, with peat & mesquite flavoring
15. Mountain Ewe, totally refreshing carbonated haggis beverage. Do the Ewe!
14. Cup o' Guts Instant Haggis
13. Entrail Mix: Natural Snack
12. Mix & Eat Cream of Sheep
11. Wool-Whip Non-dairy dessert topping
10. H.L.T.
9. Moo Goo Gai Viscera
8. Haggis Joy and Mounds: Sometimes you feel like a gut. Sometimes you don't....
7. Bleaties Cereal, breakfast of Champions
6. Shish ke Baaaaaaaab
5. Ram-Burger Helper
4. Chockful o' Guts Haggis Coffee: Gut to the last drop!
3. Pedialights: Haggis for the wee bairn
2. Two all-sheep haggis, special sauce, lettuce, cheese......
1. Haggis Dazs: Premium Haggis Ice Cream
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Never been to Scotland, but is it true that every young man has had at least one girlfriend named Baaaaaaa-rbra
Many of the Mid-westerners I know have dated Mooooo-rie at least once.