GolfClubAtlas.com > Golf Course Architecture Discussion Group

Tuco Ramirez does the Texas Two Step in Port Lavaca-Nuzzo's Wolf Point

(1/7) > >>

Noel Freeman:
I recently found this note from my alterego Tuco Ramirez....




It is dark.  Took damn dark and with bloodshot eyes from the previous night's tequila and Tex-Mex food, I'm feeling rudely awake at 5am as my noble steed ambles down Highway 71.  So I turn on the radio as a roadside sign points for La Grange Texas and then serendipity.  Out of the speakers I hear Billy Gibbons' guitar wailing out the intro to "Gimme all your lovin" and while it isn't ZZ Top's hit about the former cathouse in La Grange, it is apropos for the moment.  So I know it will be a good day.  But why is Tuco up so early?  Sure the allure of going down to Laredo is tearing at my innards to cross the border and meet some comancheros in Mexico and channel my inner Kenny Powers (If you don't watch Eastbound and Down then Tuco grieves for you) but instead I'm going to battle a foe and his golf course creation.  His name? Not even remotely intimidating.  I mean who would be afraid of a guy named Mike Nuzzo?  Perhaps if it was Nunzio Nuzzo, I'd think to pack a 15th club in the bag especially since he's a New Jersey transplant in Texas.  But anyone who's design firm has a horseshoe for a symbol has to be a mensch (wait do cowboys use that term).  Let's rock Nuzzo..

As I near my eventual destination of Port Lavaca, the morning gloaming comes up over the flat Texas landscape.  A tawny orange paints the sky across my windshield and I wonder how the bandits of the 19th century awoke to such a spectacle before a day of marauding and pillaging.  Those were the days.  Finally, my 2+ hour journey ends when I see a small, solitary sign denoting Wolf Point Ranch off of Texas Highway 172.  There an Infiniti crossover is waiting for me and I am reacquainted with Mike after 7 years.

Now Nuzzo is an amiable character, especially for a guy from Jersey.  But having spent some of my outlaw years in that wretched state, I know how its residents would sell you out for a few trinkets or access to their golf clubs.  But Mike is different.  Not only is he self effacing, he's really an engineer and I'd rather ask him about the rumored Aurora (SR-91) from his Lockheed Martin days than how he cut his teeth in golf design under Finger, Dye and Spann.  Besides, in his spare time Tuco is an aikido and jujitsu enthusiast and finding out Nuzzo is on his way to purple belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gives me pause to reflect.  Training in a combat-orientated martial art is a gift.  A gift meant to train the mind and save your life.  I, Tuco Ramirez think golf would be more than a gentleman's game if the game taught you battle concepts on the way to enlightenment.  Is there a golfing strategy equivalent to fighting off a blitzkrieg?  Doubtful, even on a bad day at Carnoustie.  Mike and I shake hands and I immediately go on guard to see if he wants to execute a scissor leg takedown and go for a ground and pound offensive onslaught.  Instead, we follow an entrance road through a curiously unique topography on a working 700 acre cattle range.  Beautiful live oaks dot the landscape which while covered with scrub is teaming with wildlife as hawks hover above looking for prey.  Finally, like a child waiting for a peak of an amusement park, I see snippets of the course and a large house (the owner's) on top of a hill.  It is a wonderful entrance, as I am on private land to play a private golf course.  Not many will pass this way and not many will ever see this creation.  Tuco is humbled, but then again Tuco is also a lying, sniveling thief.

I meet the owner and some of his playing partners and we make our way past the double green of the 8th and 18th hole to a hill overlooking the widest fairway known to man.  I'm struck by two things, Mike told me there is no driving range because the fairway is 200 yards wide and the only hazard is the irrigation lake which one would have to massively hit a hook or pull to go into (of course, one of the guys we played with, did just that)--but the other thing, is how much this feels like the Old Course.  Of course, we are not on sandy soil, but even in the morning dew, the ground looks firm and fast and I'm imagining myself smelling the North Sea (Ah Deal, wait I'm in Texas!).. After hitting a prodigious 290 yard drive (yes Tuco is a big hitter, akin to the Lama in Caddyshack) and earning the praise of the owner, I find myself walking thru terrific ground contours and movement.  I start asking Mike, " Was this natural in the land?" and he laughs.  All of this is created and I can't tell the difference.  The detail and contouring is that good.  Mike gives credit to Don Mahaffey, his construction partner and greenskeeper who helped bring Wolf Point to life.  Like a good shootout, Don shows up right then to poke fun at Nuzzo.  I like Don immediately (Tuco is all about busting chops) because of this and it is evident Wolf Point would not be what it is without his input and skills. The 1st hole green is built up, low profile style reminding me of the 18th at Deal.  Every ground game option is available to be played, but I take the aerial approach and find the firm and fast conditions knock my ball off to a place I had not expected.  3 putts later a bogey, I want to choke out Nuzzo or at least kick him with my spurs.  Damn him using emerald Bermuda grass to create a delicious playing surface!

As we move to the 2nd tee, Nuzzo utters, "There are two types of architects my friend, those that offer the ground game and those that pay lip service to it". You sir must have your links game to play here, especially with the wind up.  A quick look at the routing of the golf course shows you a circular routing.  This is similar to some of the great golf courses that test you in the wind (Shinnecock and Muirfield).  Ah Nuzzo, you are a quick study.   The 2nd is a short par 4, Tuco lashes a big drive attempting to slay the hole.  As I hit my approach I notice a fronting bunker which begets a boomerang green.  Am I at Crystal Downs?  I'd love to know Nuzzo's thoughts here on how he designed this.  I don't know how he feels about drug companies experimentation on animals but I feel he has no qualms about experimenting on golfers.

I'm feeling vaguely buzzed, was that tequila spiked the night before?  Or is it just that great feeling of finding congruence with a golf course.  My inner golf being (yes, Tuco is a spiritual bandit) is being tested and then I hit the 3rd hole.  Simple straight par 5 Nuzzo says, but a string of bunkers down the left side draw my ire, if I can carry them, I'll hit a slot to propel my ball forward.  Ah strategy!  Love it. So what do I do?  I hit a running hook (Did I mention I'm using Nuzzo's antiquated 1990s technology clubs that have cord grips so worn, I'm touching the shaft) right into the hazard.  Loading my pistolera on the way down the fairway to take Nuzzo out of his misery, I notice he's placed more bunkers in the layup landing area and also protected the right side of the green (right where I want to hit my run-up).  Hmmn, taking on this course is proving me to use my mind, I was not prepared for this.

Now Tuco has an exceptional ability to make birdies, eagles and to survive from life threatening situations but he is a bit stupid at times too.  This shows at the 4th which is another short par 4 that I attempt to drive.  A few bunkers dotting the landscape leave a remembrance of a bottle hole like strategy.  Seriously, did Nuzzo study in the UK?  Are there ship manifests to prove he went there or will he be labeled an amateur like Hugh Wilson?.. Wait! This is not a Merion thread.  Give me some bourbon to clear the senses, ah JD, you are my best friend.  I'm back.

I will make bold not to write about every hole.  One I don't have enough pictures of the course, email Mike if you want them.  But let me say this, the 5th is an arse kicking hole.  A long par 4 (there are no distances on the scorecard at Wolf Point) where the "Infierno" bunker is cut into the right side of the fairway into a hillside (large earthworks were done here in the placement of the owner's house, so Mike built a huge sprawling sand pit here).  This bunker orientates you left, and later on in the round I realized that Mike had really studied the Old Course, because at Wolf Point the owner gave the directive that he'd didn't want to lose a ball but he wanted it challenging. One can hit it left off the tee all day like at St. Andrews but one needs often to hit it right to get the best angles into the holes.  The 5th has a raised up, plateau green protected by some really cool swales in front, a creek left and a large pine tree right.  By bailing out away from the Infierno bunker, my approach (Tuco works a draw, he is a gunslinger after all) is pushed too far right) to the wrong side given the contours of the putting surface.

Finally the 6th, the first par 3.  No bunkers, no fear.  Very natural looking, protected on the left by a creek.  I hit a draw right at the flag.  I think I've done a perfect run up until I realize Nuzzo has me again in the guard position (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu term) as the contours of the land before the green shunt my ball off into the creek!  The owner laughs and says Mike should have told you the strategy is to hit it right of the green and funnel it in there, can't you see that Tuco?  No I think, but Tuco can load a six shooter pretty quick too, would anyone like to see that?

The middle of the course continues the St. Andrews affect.  Tuco finds himself asking Mike over and over whether things are natural in the ground landforms. Some of them are, but most are created and not discernable to my eyes as artificial.  Remember this is a dead flat site and less than $3mm was spent in creating it.  The attention to detail, the total availability of ground based strategies and hazard location overwhelms my senses.  It is like Salma Hayek coming out to the course and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.  Tuco neglected to mention his Salma days down in Durango in the 90s.

The 14th is perhaps my favorite hole.  Again Mike has scattered bunkers through the landing zone on this 530ish par 5.  Curiously, he also left a wonderful standout Texas Oak tree to guard the left side of the fairway.about 330y out.  I hit my drive right at the tree and then dream about hitting a giant 3 wood to reach the green in two until I see a sight that reminds me again of the UK.  Now, too much rounds on great courses around the globe has obscured my mind, I will admit that.  But where else have I seen a green protected by a creek and needing a long high approach from the right side of the fairway or else suffer the consequences.. Hmmn, where?  Ah yes, the 16th at Turnberry--Wee Burn.  And where am I on the left side of the fairway, damn you Nuzzo, it will feel so good when I tie you up and steal that Infiniti of yours.  Having to layup, I am faced with this prospect:



What may not be evident from this prospect is that Nuzzo did not build a simple green here for those even approaching with a wedge.  Before hitting this shot, I saw a green which my peyote affected brain described as:  Almost taking the contours of the underbelly of a crab's exoskeleton ie. it looked mean, nasty and sharp.  The owner particularly loves the pin placements on this hole because of the challenge.  I also loved putting them as Mahaffey has the surfaces at a perfect stimp for the contours.  Nuzzo, seeing my anger then decided to offer up a peace offering as he had one more trick up his sleeve.  I still wanted to choke him out.  You know Mike, if you save your breath when I put the rear naked choke on, you just might be able to manage it (surviving). And if you don't manage it, you'll die, only slowly my friend.  But, Tuco decided to continue to golf.



Finally at the 15th, the owner seeing the dilapidated shape of the clubs Nuzzo had lent me, gave me one of his Ping G-10 irons. A 6-iron to be exact.  The 15th was approximately 180y or so and had no bunkers and looked well, quite frankly easy.  I now know how virgins in Mexican prisons feel.  I hit a perfect draw---again!  And again, the owner laughed when the ball was still in the air.  Oh no! I winced and then the ball landed and took a left turn with extreme prejudice off the green.  It was a superiorly struck shot and I was not rewarded.  Looking for the Dillinger I keep ensconced near my canteen, Nuzzo draped an arm around my shoulder and showed me how he built the green around contours/swales the land afforded--essentially a natural drainage ditch which gave the green an almost an E shape (not like the 7th at Ballyneal).  Local knowledge requires again, a shot from the right side.   Every now and then though, Tuco decides to show what a trick shot artist he is and a high dropping flop shot from off the green wowed the gallery (all three of them) for a tap in par.

Don't ever double cross Tuco again Nuzzo!

Playing the penultimate and final hole, I really had to marvel at this golf course.  It made me sad that Nuzzo is not more well known in the world of golf and given the insular nature of the owner and privacy of this course, the chances of being hired based upon this design are a challenge for Mike.  And let me not mince my opinion.  I've seen most of the top golf courses, modern and classic in the world.  And Wolf Point is easily one of the top modern courses ever built in this bandito's humble opinion.  Especially if one considers the mandate Nuzzo and Mahaffey were given and the amount of money spent, this isnt a layup or home run, this is a miracle course.  For someone who loves links golf like myself, I can only envision the joy the owner of Wolf Point faces on a daily basis.  Here he has a course that can play great in any wind, from any direction, not lose a ball yet play shots the way a shepard did across a lunar landscape in Scotland long ago.

A long time ago Ran Morrissett dreamed an idea called the Carthage Club.  Well if he ever builds it, I would tell him to hire Nuzzo to consult and design/co-design it. Not only has he become an amigo (don't worry Blondie (an archie in the UK who knows who he is), you'll always be my numero uno honcho) but I really hope despite this recession, more people see Wolf Point and Mike receives the accolades he deserves and more work.  I realize there are many architects out there with design qualities I love that are deserving of work, it just so happens that Wolf Point was a shock to my system.  It is beauty in its own way, like a perfectly timed bank robbery.

This was the final problem I had to solve at Wolf Point.. Am I in Texas or in the UK? Well done Mike Nuzzo, well done... And by the way Mike you know what you are?  You want to know who's son you are? You don't I do, everybody does...you're the son of a thousand golf architects, all bastards like you! (bastardized annotation from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly)




Lucky for me Don Mahaffey is a peach.  Before I left, on my way back to Houston, Don told me to stop at Mustang Creek BBQ off of Highway 59 in Louise Texas.  After tasting some of the most delicious moist brisket, the chapped feelings I had of being strategically outwitted by Nuzzo went by the wayside.  I spoke briefly to Ran about this place and told him, it is time he made his way to Port Lavaca, as should you the reader!  But unfortunately for you, this course is private and closed.


Who is Tuco Ramirez?  Tuco is a 3.7 handicap who has been known to make double eagle and an ace in successive rounds.  Tuco has seen 80+ of the World's Top 100 Golf courses.  He has partied with the Foo Fighters and even denied Dave Grohl's request to go get inked with the band in London.  Tuco once had a drink with Gwenyth Paltrow and also correctly predicted a playing competitor would hit a deer with his shot on the 11th at Shinnecock.  In 2008, on a trip back from Rock Creek he correctly predicted the rise of Gold and steep fall in the stock market making money for the purveyor of this website.  Tuco has partied with geisha hostesses post round at Hirono, and while strung out on Gin met Donald Steel on the practice green at West Sussex.  Tuco once refereed a match at Sebonack between Doak and Morrissett.  Tuco was once lambasted by the King, yes Arnold Palmer for having an unkept goatee on the driving range at Bay Hill which was witnessed by no one but the King's grandkids.  In Tuco's possession is a recording of the Bobby Jones' sex tape, a terrific imitation of the Georgia Peach by a terrific golf teacher who does impersonations.  Finally, Tuco navigated this website from 2001-2005 before pissing off several people with his offbeat commentary and searing style.

Craig Van Egmond:

Surely, Tuco is the most interesting man in the world!

Sean_A:
Muy bien, muy bien...Tuco.  Wolf Point is a dream come true. 

Hasta la vista

El Gringo

K. Krahenbuhl:
Wolf Point, Eastbound and Down and Caddyshack all in the same thread...Brilliant!

Bill_McBride:
Tuco, a most entertaining review of Mike's Wolf Point.  I agree with everything you said except for the parts about wanting to kill him for tricking your peyote-addled brain.  But I understand.  The course is indeed St Andrews in Texas, looks easy, plays hard with oh so many ways to go wrong.  Like you I would love to see Mike's career skyrocket based on this design. 

Good call on the comparison of the first green at Wolf Point to the 18th at Deal, I love that low profile look with just a little bump up above grade.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page