I'll bite, just waiting to post some scores from a club event, and then off to Scotland for a few days.
Type of Course: I've enjoyed them all and would include one of my favourites, "seaside" which doesn't fall into the links category and the sea doesn't have to be salty (and prefer it next to the course.
Mobility: I like to walk but also enjoy taking a cart at every opportunity. Dislike trolleys.
Fairways: I prefer a variety that fit the hole's design, prefer undulating, dislike fairways that look like you can land a small plane on them
Greens: I prefer large greens on par threes, medium of par fours and fives, and small greens on short par fives
Tees: Prefer a variety and on courses with many elevated tees I like them to go all directions (N-E-W-S), have enjoyed a few tees built fairway level
Tee to green distance: prefer short green to tee idstance, tee to fairway I like 100 yards
Assisted Information: 150 markers are enough
Hazards: I like a variety (like the Old Course) and prefer bunkers in fairways, at least one side so the ball can roll into it, don't like whiskers or eyelashes on bunkers unless they have been there for 100 years
Burns, walls, roads, ditches: only if they are essential, and if the walls are older than the course
Vegetation: as long as it suits the geography of the area (desert stuff in the desert)
Lakes and Ponds: not a big fan, OK for a few holes. really dislike the Bay Hill and PGA West boulder edged lake look
Weather conditions: any weather between 40 and 85 F preferred, hands don't function anymore below freezing
Conditions of Fairways: I love them to change with the seasons, firm is good, dislike short bent fairways (in fact I dislike all bent fairways, waste of water)
Do you live in St Andrews?
Annoyances: fake lakes, flat fairways, people who prefer only one kind of course and can't see how good the work of others actually is