Brilliant stuff, Rich, quoting the St Cake's school motto. Here's a more or less complete run down on St Cake's found via Google:
St Cake's School is an imaginary public school, run by a Mr R.J. Kipling (BA, Leicester). The headmaster's name is part of the joke regarding the name "St Cakes", in reference to Mr Kipling cakes. Articles featuring the school parody both the "Court and Social" columns of The Times and The Daily Telegraph, and the traditions and customs of the public school system. The school's motto is Quis paget entrat (Who pays gets in), though variations on this arise from time to time, such as when the school decided to only admit the daughters of very rich Asian businessmen, and the motto became All praise to the prophet, and death to the infidel. While the school's newsletters feature extraordinary and unlikely results and prizes, events such as speech days, founder's days, term dates and feast days are announced with topical themes, such as underage drinking, drug abuse, obesity, celebrity culture, antisocial behaviour and cheating in exams. The school is sometimes referred to as "the Eton of the West Midlands", the joke being that the West Midlands are not regarded as a place where such a school is likely to be located, though there are public boarding schools in the area in real life, such as Rugby School.