Quote “100 Great Reasons to use a cart”.
Gray that is tantamount to a Declaration of War.
The British Empire will defend to the death their native soil (the right to Walk). We shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our Island home, to ride out the storm of war, and to outlive the menace of tyranny (carts), if necessary for years, if necessary alone. Feel sure that our cause will not be suffered to fail among men (real golfing men). At this time, I feel entitled to claim the aid of all, and I say, "come then, let us go forward together with our united strength." We shall go on to the end, we shall fight (on and off the courses). We shall fight on the seas and oceans. We shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall defend our Island (right to Walk). Whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old." (after causing the initial problem in the first place) But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science (Carts and distance aids).
Gray, you have been warned – if all else fails I will arrange to have you balls (golf) removed from the course after each stroke, if we have to resort to Guerrilla warfare.
By Order of the Band of Brothers
Melvyn
(Corporal, Scottish 18th Regiment of Foot, St Andrews Garrison)