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TEPaul

A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« on: March 10, 2009, 10:49:49 AM »
Listen fellows, everybody knows times are hard these days and look to get worse. So, I'm offering a little respite, a bounty payment in fact, for any of you guys to put towards some whiskey money or even towards your mortgage payment, whatever you choose.

If any of you guys see Mucci logged onto this website would you mind trapping him for me, putting him in the back of a pickup truck and deliverying him to my farm in Pennsylvania?

I'm looking out my window right now from the barn/office which houses the World-Wide Golf Architectural Concept HQs and there's a great field out there I can turn into a wonder practice range.

My idea is to put Patrick in a full-body Hannibal Lecter suit, suspend him from a tree on the side of the practice range and we can all hit some low checking wedges at him.

I'll negotiate a decent bounty payment with you for delivering him here after that.

JMEvensky

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2009, 11:22:53 AM »
Listen fellows, everybody knows times are hard these days and look to get worse. So, I'm offering a little respite, a bounty payment in fact, for any of you guys to put towards some whiskey money or even towards your mortgage payment, whatever you choose.

If any of you guys see Mucci logged onto this website would you mind trapping him for me, putting him in the back of a pickup truck and deliverying him to my farm in Pennsylvania?

I'm looking out my window right now from the barn/office which houses the World-Wide Golf Architectural Concept HQs and there's a great field out there I can turn into a wonder practice range.

My idea is to put Patrick in a full-body Hannibal Lecter suit, suspend him from a tree on the side of the practice range and we can all hit some low checking wedges at him.

I'll negotiate a decent bounty payment with you for delivering him here after that.

OK,I'll go where no sentient man should go.

If,hypothetically speaking,I happen to have some "friends" in NJ who are capable in the "package delivery" field,what kind of bounty are we talking?

I think I'd have to say this delivery is worth,at least,a date with the infamous Fern.

BTW-does the package have to be delivered still breathing?I think they charge extra for that.

John Kirk

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2009, 11:27:26 AM »
Go ahead and grab him, but when you do, make him start a thread on the Hog's Back at NGLA.  He's slacking.

Mike_Cirba

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2009, 11:31:49 AM »
Yeah, jeez Tom...get him back to his excellent and PRODUCTIVE NGLA thread!

Unscabbing the Merion and Crump stuff again is sooooo 2004!  ;)

I'm almost expecting that we should next discuss Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction, which might have served as the inspiration for that monstrosity Crump built on the 18th green.  ;D
« Last Edit: March 10, 2009, 11:35:34 AM by MikeCirba »

Gene Greco

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2009, 11:39:21 AM »
    Last I saw of him he was in a golf cart...
"...I don't believe it is impossible to build a modern course as good as Pine Valley.  To me, Sand Hills is just as good as Pine Valley..."    TOM DOAK  November 6th, 2010

TEPaul

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2009, 11:40:27 AM »
"BTW-does the package have to be delivered still breathing?"

Oh yeah, definitely. That would be a must. I'm not paying any bounty for a dead Mucci. I want him very much alive and breathing. I doubt I want to keep him here long either. I'll pay the freight for shipping him home after we all have had some target practice (golf shots) at him in his full-body metal Hannibal Lecter suit.

If any of you guys happen to find Osama Bin Laden, I'm offering a bounty payment on him too so we can hang him from another tree in a full-body metal Hannibal Lecter suit for target practice but I doubt the bounty on Bin Laden will be as lucrative for you guys as the bounty payment on Patrick.

My only alternative for Osama would be to put him in a golden bird cage and suspend him from the ceiling of one of the most garrish casinos in Las Vegas.

Anthony Gray

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2009, 11:44:04 AM »


  Tom,

  What a great way to combine visuals with playability and temptation.

  Anthony


TEPaul

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2009, 11:57:29 AM »
My GOD, what's the matter with me this morning?!? I must be mush-brained. I guess I haven't had enough coffee yet.

Suspending Patrick from a tree in a metal full body Hannibal Lecter suit and hitting low checking wedges at him is not what we really want to do.

I've got a tractor with a bucket on the front of it right next door in the barn. It will be no problem for me to make a mound in the middle of the practice range to the exact dimensions of Crump's TEMPORARY ;) mound that was once on the 18th green at Pine Valley that Patrick has been DEMANDING PV restore. God knows Patrick has now provided us with enough photos of it in one of his ridiculous Pine Valley threads.

It will be a snap for me to precisely recreate that mound in the middle of the practice range and then we can staple Patrick in his metal full-body Hannibal Lecter suit to the top of the perfectly restored TEMPORARY PV mound (the infamous Pimple) and we can hit all kinds of cool shots at him from all kinds of distances and directions!

Anthony Gray

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2009, 12:16:01 PM »


  Tom,

 Some Advice...You are never going to get anywhere on this site if you keep attacking the only discussion group member who is a member at both Pine Valley and Augusta National.

  Anthony


TEPaul

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2009, 12:28:50 PM »
Anthony:

That's the point, he doesn't even belong to those clubs!  ::)

The Admissions Committees of both ANGC and PV have some working criteria that has a short list of people on it that must be permanently blackballed from membership, no matter what. I've seen both lists and Patrick is on the top of both!   ;)

In parenthesis beside his name on the PV working blackball criteria list is the wording ("No sane and sensible golf club would ever want to admit a Weissenheimer, "pain-in-the-ass", "know-it-all" like this guy").
« Last Edit: March 10, 2009, 12:30:52 PM by TEPaul »

John Mayhugh

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2009, 12:44:35 PM »
Go ahead and grab him, but when you do, make him start a thread on the Hog's Back at NGLA.  He's slacking.

I'm with John!

Peter Pallotta

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2009, 12:55:55 PM »
TE - one thing to keep in mind:

I found out that there's this Captain McCluskey, a New York City police officer. He's definitely on Patrick's payroll, and for big money.  And what you have to understand is that, while Patrick's being guarded like that, he is invulnerable. Now nobody has ever gunned down a New York police captain -- never. It would be disastrous. All the other architects would come after you, TE.  The World-Wide Golf Architectural Concept would be an outcast! Even your old political protection would run for cover! So do me a favor -- take this into consideration.

Peter


Rich Goodale

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2009, 01:08:02 PM »
Tom

Have you thought of mounting Pat on a white horse in his Marine Corps dress uniform a la Neidermeyer in "Animal House?"  You would have to put the horses feet in concrete and superglue Pat to the saddle, but that should be no problem.  The real problem is that those of us who hit the ball hard enough to make an impression on Pat if we hit him lack the accuracy to do the latter and those who have the requisite accuracy (e.g. you) do not generate enough clubhead speed to make an impression on a marshmallow, much less Pat's head.

Back to the drawing board.....

Bill_McBride

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2009, 01:15:13 PM »
TE - one thing to keep in mind:

I found out that there's this Captain McCluskey, a New York City police officer. He's definitely on Patrick's payroll, and for big money.  And what you have to understand is that, while Patrick's being guarded like that, he is invulnerable. Now nobody has ever gunned down a New York police captain -- never. It would be disastrous. All the other architects would come after you, TE.  The World-Wide Golf Architectural Concept would be an outcast! Even your old political protection would run for cover! So do me a favor -- take this into consideration.

Peter



"Now nobody has ever gunned down a New York police captain -- never."

Peter, I guess you are forgetting Michael Corleone.  ;)


Charlie Goerges

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2009, 01:16:49 PM »
Hey, everybody stop picking on Patrick!

If you don't, I'll strap you all down to chairs in a lecture hall and make you listen to his dissertation on Pine Valley!
Severally on the occasion of everything that thou doest, pause and ask thyself, if death is a dreadful thing because it deprives thee of this. - Marcus Aurelius

Dave_Miller

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #15 on: March 10, 2009, 02:40:18 PM »
TE - one thing to keep in mind:

I found out that there's this Captain McCluskey, a New York City police officer. He's definitely on Patrick's payroll, and for big money.  And what you have to understand is that, while Patrick's being guarded like that, he is invulnerable. Now nobody has ever gunned down a New York police captain -- never. It would be disastrous. All the other architects would come after you, TE.  The World-Wide Golf Architectural Concept would be an outcast! Even your old political protection would run for cover! So do me a favor -- take this into consideration.

Peter

Peter
Last time we saw Captain McCluskey he was having a very hard time swallowing. Doubt he would be much use to Patrick.

Tommy
Why bother with the full body metal Hannibal Lecter suit?  Patrick is obviously Superman so he could take those shots with nothing. ;)
Best
Dave

TEPaul

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #16 on: March 10, 2009, 03:24:16 PM »
I would appreciate no shooting or making a public nuisance of ourselves in New York City or anywhere out there in the real world. What we need to do is put out the general alarm next time Patrick logs into GOLFCLUBATLAS.com's Discussion Group and we will bag him right here!

I realized recently that it's possible to actually tell what someone is doing at any particular time on GOLFCLUBATLAS.com and if anyone sees Patrick is posting on one of his recent PV threads it should be obvious he will be droning on about restoring to the 18th green of PV that radical mound Crump considered temporary, again, that's TEMPORARY, and we will all beset ourselves on him at that point and catch him red-handed and bag him and send him to the farm in Pennsylvania in the back of a pickup truck in a metal full-body Hannibal Lecter suit.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2009, 03:26:20 PM by TEPaul »

Anthony Gray

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #17 on: March 10, 2009, 03:32:03 PM »


  Pat,

  I think Tom is just mad because you told the real story behind the Paul family exclusion at Augusta National straight from the mouth of Cliff Roberts.

  Anthony


TEPaul

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #18 on: March 10, 2009, 03:55:50 PM »
Anthony:

The Paul family exclusion from ANGC by Cliff Roberts?

That could be because not that many years ago my mother who could be pretty picky and choosey did allow as how she thought that Cliff Roberts was a fairly uncooth crumb-bum. He was a New York stock broker, you know, who may've even worked for her father's company? ;)

She liked Bob Jones, though, which I never knew until the year this website started. I told her about a thread on here back then that was entitled something like the things to love about golf. Everybody was telling these neat stories about some great times people had in golf, and she sat back and thought for a while and then said she felt golf had been so good to my dad and then she told me about a time years ago when she and my father took the train out to the US Amateur at Pebble Beach and the sort of chilly evening they were sitting by the fire having a drink---just the two of them and Bob Jones!!

I said: "YOU WHAT??? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TELL ME THAT?"

She just said she didn't know why nobody ever told me that but that Bobby was a nice man because apparently my dad just lost and sitting by the fire with the two of them Bobby told my dad; "Jimmy, don't worry about it too much; it's just a game you know."

Now stop these divergences, Anthony; I need to concentrate on bagging Mucci!
« Last Edit: March 10, 2009, 03:58:58 PM by TEPaul »

Anthony Gray

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #19 on: March 10, 2009, 04:15:22 PM »


  O K Tom...... I'll drive over there now and bring him right back.



     



JMorgan

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #20 on: March 10, 2009, 04:29:48 PM »
I knew it would eventually come to this...

Mike Sweeney

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #21 on: March 10, 2009, 08:40:25 PM »
Tom,

It is my understanding that Patrick has been spending a little too much time at the Delano Hotel in South Beach and has threatened to give up golf!

Michael Whitaker

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #22 on: March 11, 2009, 12:58:14 AM »
Tom,

It is my understanding that Patrick has been spending a little too much time at the Delano Hotel in South Beach and has threatened to give up golf!

Too much time in South Beach indeed...




"Solving the paradox of proportionality is the heart of golf architecture."  - Tom Doak (11/20/05)

Jim Nugent

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #23 on: March 11, 2009, 02:13:01 AM »
I doubt the bounty on Bin Laden will be as lucrative for you guys as the bounty payment on Patrick.


Tom, the bounty on bin Laden is $50 million. 

TEPaul

Re: A bounty on Patrick Mucci
« Reply #24 on: March 11, 2009, 06:56:10 AM »
DAMN guys, Mucci apparently slipped on and off this website last night and nobody put out the general alarm so we could try to bag him.

Next time you see him log on send out the general alarm so we can all go after him with our sticks and picks and polls and nets before the Silly Rabbit tries to evade us and hide in some hole in the ground like Saddam Hussein.

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