You have designed the perfect course, now name the holes

[Melvyn Morrow]

So you have a buckets full of money, a beautiful site for a course, you have designed one of the most enjoyable and challenging courses in the world, only thing left is to suggest to the client the names for the 18 holes. Can you suggest 18 names and a short explanation i.e.

Hole 1   Doak’s Folly          Apparently still trying to get one right!!
Hole 2   Bausch Tipple       Short simple hole with unguarded green
Hole 3   Kavanaugh Way   Confusing Par 4 with what looks like two greens
Hole 4   McBrides Birdies   Short, adventurous and scary Par 4 
Hole 5   Arble Bay               Par 5 around the houses but gets ther in the end
Hole 6   Troeger Lament    Frustration hole as no yardage Markers
Hole 7   Paul’s Madness     Par 6 Matches his long posts, but is it challenging
Hole 8   Braley’s Barrow     Blind Hole - distance information is of little help
Hole 9   Mucci Dream          If only he understood the principles of design!!
Hole 10 Gray Spot               Honest traditional challenging Par 4
Hole 11 Ocean Eleven        Typical Dye’s type Green with water trap
Hole 12 Bonnar Bond          Distinguish Par 4 with hidden hazards (Cats)
Hole 13 Crafter Doctored   Template hole based upon TOC 18th
Hole 14 Goodale Dyke        Short but powerful hole, not quite what it seems
Hole 15 Naccarato Hollow   Fairway well protected but with some bumps
Hole 16 Forrest’s Run         Whin encroaching to create narrow fairway
Hole 17 Cirba Quirk              Hole in total harmony with the land
Hole 18 Morrow’s Burn        Sweetest Hole on the course, mature, hint of
                                                  the Traditional - could have been designed by
                                                  Old Tom

To comply with the cart fraternity a hidden cart track has been installed, but it skirts the course some 150 yards away. In some parts the cart track runs precariously close to the cliff edge, insurance cover is a must. Laser jammers have also been installed over the course so as not to spoil the enjoyment of the traditional golfer.   

[Tom Huckaby]

I have to say I feel more insulted by the lack of inclusion than any of these guys will be by how you describe their holes.

I had thought we declared peace, Melvyn.  Don't make me draw up the war papers.

 

TH

ps - I have to say that cracked me up!  Well done.

[Melvyn Morrow]

Tom

I was going to suggest a 22 hole course but that might have had me removed from GCA.com.  Expect I might still get removed for making comments regards our architects or designers.

Some fun, but I think all courses should name their holes, it’s an honour which I thing is a way of saying thanks to some of our unsung heroes in the game.

[Carl Nichols]

Tom, you could suggest Melvyn include:

Hole X.  Huck's Eye Candy -- spectacular view and well-conditioned but weak on the design.

[Tom Huckaby]

Melvyn - well said, all of it.

And Carl, great call!  That's what I'd expect and want.

 

I do think in general it's a cool thing to name golf holes, but over here at times it does get a little "precious."  That is, some of the names they give are really cutesy and stupid.  So I like the idea overall, but I nominate Melvyn and Carl to be the official namers.

TH

[Melvyn Morrow]

A Huckaby Hole would I expect be one that gives the novice as much help as is required with giant TV monitors as 50 yard distance markers – a loudspeaker system shouting the distance just in case the techno-golfer did not understand his handheld range finder and misunderstood the TV information.

 I fully understand Tom that those who love their gadgets are not always as gifted as others.   

[Tom Huckaby]

A Huckaby Hole would I expect be one that gives the novice as much help as is required with giant TV monitors as 50 yard distance markers – a loudspeaker system shouting the distance just in case the techno-golfer did not understand his handheld range finder and misunderstood the TV information.

 I fully understand Tom that those who love their gadgets are not always as gifted as others.   

Love it.  We are back at peace.

 

[Tom_Doak]

Melvyn:

Early in my career we built a couple of courses where we named all 18 holes.  But, as clients kept asking us to do it, I found it impossible to keep coming up with good original names for all of the holes -- and including a few clunkers does no favors for the course.

I doubt any of those Scottish courses you revere had good names for all 18 holes on opening day, either.

[Jason Topp]

Most imposed names are too formulaic.  I might try this approach:

1 - "Jitters" - tee right in front of the pro shop

2 - "Chunk it in the Soup" - par three over water

3.  "Fore- Right" - OB on the right

4.  "Psychological Chunk" - short par 4 with green perched on a hill and no rough

5.  "Lie Detector" - hole with a carry distance to the fairway of 235 over a cavernous bunker from the 6700 yard tees and similar carry distances from other tees.  

6.  "Yip Meter" - a hole with a slow grainy green that shows whether someone actually can make a 3 foot putt

7.  "You are not Nicklaus" a green with a steep slope in front and a steep slope behind requiring a solid, controlled iron shot.  

8.  "Think!" - Front to back sloping green where par is easy from long but impossible from short.

9. "Break out the wallet" -  A wildly undulating green on a short par five or par four.

[Kalen Braley]

I have to say I feel more insulted by the lack of inclusion than any of these guys will be by how you describe their holes.

I had thought we declared peace, Melvyn.  Don't make me draw up the war papers.

 

TH

ps - I have to say that cracked me up!  Well done.

Huckaby,

I'm afraid your a 2nd class citizen on GCA.com now as you didn't make the 1st string "select group". Don't take this personally but I just can't hang out with you no more... it'll be bad for my image   

Melyvn,

Very interesting course, and I do love blind holes...just as long as they dont stick ponds or other lurking tall grass where I can't see em. 

[Tom Huckaby]

Kalen - second class is a step up for me.

 

[Melvyn Morrow]

Tom D

The main point of my post is that holes IMHO should have names as I mentioned above. These names should be based upon the individuals connected to the course and who have contributed to the local game - starting with the designer(s)

In a way it is a small thank you for their contribution to the game, plus I feel it is far more appropriate that just calling them Dell, Sahara, etc. The second point I was also trying to make was the hole should reflect their personality.

Or does this discussion group feel numbers are still the way forward? 

[JMorgan]

I think every hole deserves a name. Case in point: Do you remember #17 at TOC as a number, or do you know The Road Hole?

[Tim Bert]

If Dave Miller were designing the course, then Kalen's hole would be covered with bunkers...

SANDMAN!!!

[John Moore II]

I am depressed that my name is not attached to one of the holes.      Truly saddening.

[Kalen Braley]

If Dave Miller were designing the course, then Kalen's hole would be covered with bunkers...

SANDMAN!!!

Hey,

I resemble that remark.  Its a dang fine thing that David M won't be quitting his day job anytime soon.   

[Anthony Gray]

A Huckaby Hole would I expect be one that gives the novice as much help as is required with giant TV monitors as 50 yard distance markers – a loudspeaker system shouting the distance just in case the techno-golfer did not understand his handheld range finder and misunderstood the TV information.

 I fully understand Tom that those who love their gadgets are not always as gifted as others.   

  Melvyn,

  The Huck Hole......Long uphill par 6 that requires a cart (buggy) with GPS.

[Melvyn Morrow]

An additional list due to some complaints because I did not include their names in the first place. 

Hole 1    Rabbit Warren        Many Bunkers to minimise using electronic aids
Hole 2    Burzynski Gate        Hidden hole, need to refer to scorecard
Hole 3    Benham’s Hill          Interesting Tee shot then gets complicated
Hole 4    Glynn’s Burn           Surprising & enjoyable, but has hidden hazards 
Hole 5    Wagner Hollow       Long hole, may weigh on your mind but fun
Hole 6    Macpherson Whim Traditional Hole with old world magic
Hole 7    Tepper’s Shelf         Like a library, hole stacked with bunkers
Hole 8    Daley’s Pail             Friendly hole with various approaches to the pin
Hole 9    Cardinal Moore       Shy hole, but never short of surprises
Hole 10  Bert’s Way              Groundhog hole seems to repeat itself   
Hole 11  Morgan’s Hovel      More structure than substance to the hole        
Hole 12  Huckaby Dip           Fighting little hole with full of self importance
Hole 13  Topp’s Edge           Bemusing hole and questions your game
Hole 14  Muldoon Reach      Searching hole, but can touch ones Spirit
Hole 15  Gavrich’s Quarry     Deep hole with the ability to catch you out   
Hole 16  Stiff’s Path              Traditional routing with a touch of magic
Hole 17  Bomber Harris      Unconventional hole made easy by aids 
Hole 18  Ran’s Ultimatum     Deceptive hole, hidden out of bounds areas

Just a little fun and no insults intended, but the idea is to name the holes which hopefully part reflects upon the individuals. To all those I have left out or missed, I sincerely apologise and to all those I have included I also apologies. 

[Andy Troeger]

Melvyn,

Well done. Better yet you picked my "lament" for my least favorite number! 

[David Sneddon]

Melvyn:
Early in my career we built a couple of courses where we named all 18 holes.  But, as clients kept asking us to do it, I found it impossible to keep coming up with good original names for all of the holes -- and including a few clunkers does no favors for the course.
I doubt any of those Scottish courses you revere had good names for all 18 holes on opening day, either.

Tom:

What you need to do is pick up a paperback edition of the collected works of Robert Burns, Scotland's all time National Poet.
He uses Scots dialect in all his poems, and I'm sure you could pick a couple of words at random, and use them to name the hole, ie:

Skelpit Stanes

The advantage is that it doesn't have to make sense, in either Old Scots or modern English ........ and you are left with both Visitors and Members alike speculating on the "real" meaning of the hole.

 

[Anthony Gray]

  Melvyn,

 Thank you for the honor. You are truly a gentleman architect as well as a gentleman golfer.

  Hole 3 Kavanaugh Way...  It is going to take several plays to figure this hole out. The green is going to be in terrible condition since the super only gets 40 quid a day.

  Hole 10 Gray Spot... What a perfect way to turn for home.

  Hole 18 Morrow's Burn... With just the thought of the hole I have bagpipes in my ears.

      Anthony



 

[Tom Huckaby]

Full of self-importance?  You couldn't have picked the one thing I am less full of... Man I am the most self-deprecatory participant on this site.  Hell my posts in this thread ought to prove that.  And I am reminded of a certain pot saying things to a kettle....

So war is back on.
 

All in good fun, as always.

TH

[Anthony Gray]

  Every course needs a name. How about The Kavanaugh Club....No I like Old Huckaby better..... No better yet.............. ROYAL MORROW..........where The Spirit of the Game lives on forever !!!!!!

[Matthew Hunt]

What about courses where holes usedd to have names but no longer do, is RCD the only example of this?

[Tony Ristola]

The best names reflect something to do with the nature of the land or feature on the hole. The association is easy.

I think Long, Short can be included on all courses for said holes so long as there isn't a feature that lends itself better.