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Dan Kelly

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Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #75 on: June 24, 2008, 08:34:48 PM »

But paramount has to be... Foozle.

To which the only proper response has to be ... "Pity."
"There's no money in doing less." -- Joe Hancock, 11/25/2010
"Rankings are silly and subjective..." -- Tom Doak, 3/12/2016

Mike Hendren

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #76 on: June 24, 2008, 08:39:36 PM »
Check out the mouths on some of these posters!

What I find most amusing about this thread is that one of the participants tossed a club at a GCA get-together a few years back. 

Mike
Two Corinthians walk into a bar ....

Bob_Huntley

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #77 on: June 24, 2008, 08:47:20 PM »
Michael,

If you go back into the archives, I mentioned that in our group of old fogies one could throw a club only if given permission by the rest of the foursome. When permission was witheld much muttering was heard.

Bob

Mike Bowline

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #78 on: June 24, 2008, 08:53:27 PM »
One time years ago I was invited to play in a tournament sponsored by a client, and played in the group with the client's executive director.  Here was another classic douche bag, the guy who thinks he's about 20 shots better than he is.  We all played our own ball, no scramble, and 14 times he announced, "I'm going to show you guys how to hit a one iron," and proceeded to hook, pull, top, shank, or otherwise mutilate the shot with said one iron.

I bet he hit it really good ONE time, many years ago in a galaxy far, far away.....   cue John Williams

Mike Hendren

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #79 on: June 24, 2008, 08:55:35 PM »
Bob,

That's so not you.  I fear that is a rogue crowd at MPCC.

Mike
Two Corinthians walk into a bar ....

Michael Powers

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #80 on: June 24, 2008, 09:18:34 PM »
Jack,
If you show up at a public facility with 2 players, you get what you get.  Bring 4 or throw a 20 to the starter and maybe he'll let you play as 2.
HP

Kalen Braley

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #81 on: June 24, 2008, 09:42:08 PM »
The comment I find the most interesting is "that will play"   Is it a complement or are they really saying bad shot but you have a chance?



I'd say its a making the best out of an indifferent tee shot.  I use this phrase alot and didn't think it had a negative connotation.

I personally like the quips you hear from those rogue scottish caddies like:

Player "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy "Eventually"

Thats the good stuff!!  ;)

Steve Wilson

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #82 on: June 24, 2008, 10:14:15 PM »

 
Steve Wilson,

Why do you find this weird?

By virtue of losing his ball (probably through no fault of his own), A has a need.  B, by finding four balls (life's lottery/lucky sperm theory), has the ability.  Why shouldn't A have a just demand on the property of B?  A clearly demonstrated that he has progressed to "New Man", while B and the other guy remain at a very primitive stage of selfish individualism.    Isn't a sizable proportion of our intelligentsia enamored with precisely this philosophy?

BTW, if I had been B, I would have kept any good ProVxs for myself and gladly offered him the rest.

I find I have no explanation for my bewilderment.  I had hoped I found it weird because I wasn't.  Obviously, self aggrandizement on my part.  And this was long before there was such a thing as a ProVxs.

But speaking of self aggrandizement I remember another episode that occurred to me when playing as a single at less than nondescript muni at Sardis Ohio.  I had rushed to the course on a Friday evening hoping to get in a quick eighteen.  Just as I was racing the cart to the first tee, the girl in the shop hailed me down.  There was another single who had just paid his green fee.  Strangers we were to one another, and he introduced himself as having been a really good player at one time who had not been able to play much in recent years.  He hoped he wouldn't prove a burden.

On the first hole he went through a good portion of bad shot list, but it was apparent he could play some.  The rudiments of a swing were there.  Two or three holes in he started to hit some good shots.  When he drained a long putt for birdie, he began to share some of his accomplishments with me.  A bad tee shot or a flared approach would see him descend into silence.  This pattern repeated itself through the round. With each good shot he trotted out stories of his prowess.  I think he made another birdie and then he started a story about the money matches he had played in with a club pro he had gone to school with.  "He was always calling me, telling me to get off work he had a match for us.  One time we played this two guys and I didn't even know what the stakes were.  Turned out we were playing for fifteen hundred dollars and the one guy didn't have that much on him.   That's how I got those Ping Irons."  This was when Pings were a hot item. 

Fortunately, he had a bad hole or two and lapsed back into silence.  Another good hole brought us to the 8th.  It plays about 330 but requires a well position layup in front of a ravine.    He looks at the card and asks how far is to the hazard.  Truthfully I tell him I don't know but  always lay up with a long iron.  He muses over the prospect of carrying the hazard.  I do nothing to discourage him.  "I think I'm going to go for it." 

His tee ball goes into the hazard, but not on the fly.  I don't think it even bounced, I think it was a last gasp trickle.

The hazard is really the mouth of a small stream where it enters the Ohio River and the sides are precipitous loose earth.  I am told that another golfer hawking balls slipped and slid to bottom once.  Mr Scratchman looks over the edge of the hazard and spots a ball he assumes to be his.  "Hey, you got one of those retriever things, I never bothered to get one."  To quote Snoopy, "My reels with sarcastic replies."  I contented myself with "Yeah, I've got one.  I never use it myself, I just carry it for the people I play with."   

There wasn't much conversation for several holes.

But, by the time we finished in near darkness he was once regaling me with tall and unlikely tales.  Spirits, apparently, aren't the only things that are irrepressible.
Some days you play golf, some days you find things.

I'm not really registered, but I couldn't find a symbol for certifiable.

"Every good drive by a high handicapper will be punished..."  Garland Bailey at the BUDA in sharing with me what the better player should always remember.

Adam Clayman

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #83 on: June 25, 2008, 12:00:59 AM »
Corey, I'll remind you that I provided ample proof that the term I used to describe a garment is an accepted name in that industry. I'll also remind you that I asked if anyone was offended and no one responded.
I have since heeded your advice and not used the term to describe the garment. I even made sure the term was changed within my post even though the IM's you sent at that time were the rudest I have ever received.

"It's unbelievable how much you don't know about the game you've been playing your whole life." - Mickey Mantle

Sean_A

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #84 on: June 25, 2008, 03:21:13 AM »
I want to point out to our younger members that "sclaffing" is a legitimate golf term.  It means hitting the ground behind the ball on the swing through.  My father learned golf from a book called "The Nine Bad Shots Of Golf", by Jim Dante and Leo Diegel.  Sclaffing is listed as one of the nine bad shots.  I kept the book and it resides on my book shelf.

A sclaff occurs because the player reverse pivots, then throws the club into the turf, resulting in hearty laughter by Shivas or other well adjusted golfers.

The nine bad shots of golf are:

1.  Slicing
2.  Hooking
3.  Topping
4.  Smothering
5.  Pulling
6.  Pushing
7.  Skying
8.  Sclaffing
9.  Shanking

Good one, Bob.


John,

But paramount has to be... Foozle.


Bob

What about about slap happy pappy's (high right push), snap happy pappy's (smothered hook) and crap happy pappy's (general shit shot)? 

BTW - What is the deal (ie the point) with this thread? 

Ciao
New plays planned for 2024: Nothing

corey miller

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #85 on: June 25, 2008, 07:32:29 AM »


Adam

Do you make things up on the fly? I had no recollection of sending you any IM's let alone multiple "rude" IM's. 

In fact, I sent you only one and I hardly think it is offensive. 

Dago
« Sent to: Guest on: January 08, 2006, 05:40:55 pm »     

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


It would be nice if you would amend your post and remove the term Dago. It is a offensive term to many and in fact is described in the dictionary as derogetory slang directed at italians,spaniards, or portuguese.  In short, it is not a word that a gentleman would say.

Thank you


Do me a favor just use the term I can't be bothered.

Adam Clayman

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #86 on: June 25, 2008, 08:16:25 AM »
You can.t be bothered? Why the hell did you bring it up? When combined with a tee the meaning changes. Unless now spic and span is off limits too?
"It's unbelievable how much you don't know about the game you've been playing your whole life." - Mickey Mantle

tlavin

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #87 on: June 25, 2008, 10:36:29 AM »
Check out the mouths on some of these posters!

What I find most amusing about this thread is that one of the participants tossed a club at a GCA get-together a few years back. 

Mike

Mike, as you know, there are club tosses and there are club tosses.

The angry, violent, snap decision to toss a club is clearly the stuff of douchebags.

However,  the premeditated, rational, non-angry, ceremonial club toss can exorcise all of a particular club's demons and negative energy in one, fell swoop - particularly when the club is given a somber, parental talking-to first: 

"Now listen here, Driver, after all the money I've spent on you, you're acting like an ingrate...you've been behaving very, very badly, and it's my job to punish you and whip you into shape...that's why God put me here on this earth...so it's my obligation to give you a good, hard whirlybird tossing...this will hurt me more than it will hurt you"....


I had one such premeditated, ceremonial driver toss a month ago.  The club again did not perform to its technical specifications, so I flung it ever so gently down the cart path where it lay as I moments later ran it over in the golf cart.  Before I got to my next shot, I had already summoned a new driver from the pro shop.

This set of actions, I know, violated several cardinal rules of civilized golf.  Not that I give a hoot.

Mark Smolens

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #88 on: June 25, 2008, 11:04:35 AM »
Charles Schultz had a great cartoon about Snoopy snapping a club in half.  When Charlie Brown asked if he felt better, Snoopy replied something to the effect of:  "yes, and the other clubs are certainly paying more attention."  At times that friggin X wedge needs to be buried in turf, just to let it know who's the boss. . .

John Kirk

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #89 on: June 25, 2008, 11:13:55 AM »
For years, our regular foursome had a rule on the 14th hole at Witch Hollow.  If someone drove it into the first bunker on the left, aka "The Bunker Of The Thrown Driver", they were required to throw their driver. 

cary lichtenstein

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #90 on: June 25, 2008, 11:25:58 AM »
Examples of PDB =Pure Douche Behaviour

1. DB says nice shot as your ball goes OB or in the water
2. DB throws his cigarette or cigar on the fringe of the putting green and leaves it there to burn out
3. DB says "reload"
4. DB asks what club you hit into the par 3, you reply 4 iron and he says he hit 8
5. DB drives cart over uneven ground after you ask him to be careful because you have a bad back
6. DB stands on the tee so that the smoke from his cigar blows in your face after you ask him to position himself to stand downwind when he smokes
7. DB talks when you are swinging and then apologizes
8. DB complains about his private plane having hit head winds the previous day from Calif and it taking an extra hour to make the flight when you just came home the same day and it took 12 hours and 2 flights because you flew coach
9. I no longer play with this Douche Bag
Live Jupiter, Fl, was  4 handicap, played top 100 US, top 75 World. Great memories, no longer play, 4 back surgeries. I don't miss a lot of things about golf, life is simpler with out it. I miss my 60 degree wedge shots, don't miss nasty weather, icing, back spasms. Last course I played was Augusta

Kalen Braley

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #91 on: June 25, 2008, 12:09:11 PM »
I prefer the straight-forward, over the head, double handed, battle axe move with whatever the club is.  Beat it straight into the ground Happy-Gilmore style.

However, there is nothing better than a nice iron fling 100 yards up the fairway to really let the steam off.  And with the right playing parters who would lovingly mock my actions, I'd likely be laughing my ass off by the time I retreived my club and have a super relaxed round for the rest of the day.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2008, 12:14:47 PM by Kalen Braley »

George Pazin

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #92 on: June 25, 2008, 12:13:49 PM »
My streak as the luckiest guy alive continues: I don't think I've ever been paired with a douche bag, not even close. I've been paired with just about every other kind of character imaginable, but no one rude or mean.

Imho, the rare golfer who breaks etiquette rules generally does it out of ignorance, not on purpose. A gentle reminder usually suffices.

Maybe you guys are just too uptight. :)
Big drivers and hot balls are the product of golf course design that rewards the hit one far then hit one high strategy.  Shinny showed everyone how to take care of this whole technology dilemma. - Pat Brockwell, 6/24/04

Kevin_Reilly

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #93 on: June 25, 2008, 12:29:57 PM »
My streak as the luckiest guy alive continues: I don't think I've ever been paired with a douche bag, not even close.

Funny, on the equipment-oriented golf boards, a "douche-bag" is a player with a complete bag of clubs (ideally, including the bag itself) from one manufacturer.  Callaway and TaylorMade douche-bags are most common.  For some reason, Titleist douche-bags (with Vokey wedges and a Cameron putter) seem to escape the moniker.
"GOLF COURSES SHOULD BE ENJOYED RATHER THAN RATED" - Tom Watson

Jed Peters

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #94 on: June 25, 2008, 12:34:42 PM »


Mike, as you know, there are club tosses and there are club tosses.

The angry, violent, snap decision to toss a club is clearly the stuff of douchebags.



I resemble that remark, on (rare) occasion.

Matt Varney

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #95 on: June 25, 2008, 12:44:20 PM »
Since this topic has shifted slightly towards club throwing I have a theory based on seeing people throw clubs over the years.  I have seen basically 3 types of club throwing:

1. The Fling - when a player is pissed off and just flings the club low off the ground towards the golf cart holding his bag while mumbling a cuss word and almost hits the cart path.

2. The Tomahawk - when the player is really pissed off and he takes the club directly over his head and throws it end over end like an indian so that it flies just like a tomahawk.  This throwing method usually ends up in a broken shaft due to the force of the club hitting the ground or hitting something like a tree and it snaps the shaft in the middle or near the hosel.

3. The Sikorsky - when the player is really pissed off and take the club back like a baseball bat and then throws it really hard down the fairway so that it looks like a helicopter rotor turning in the air.  This throwing method usually ends up with a safe club and no damage because the club lands horizontally and the shaft survives the ride and impact of hitting the ground.

Next time your at the course you will see these especially at a muni.


Jed Peters

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #96 on: June 25, 2008, 01:00:33 PM »
Since this topic has shifted slightly towards club throwing I have a theory based on seeing people throw clubs over the years.  I have seen basically 3 types of club throwing:

1. The Fling - when a player is pissed off and just flings the club low off the ground towards the golf cart holding his bag while mumbling a cuss word and almost hits the cart path.

Done it. Unfortunately once with a tour putter that scratched it. Last time I did that one.

2. The Tomahawk - when the player is really pissed off and he takes the club directly over his head and throws it end over end like an indian so that it flies just like a tomahawk.  This throwing method usually ends up in a broken shaft due to the force of the club hitting the ground or hitting something like a tree and it snaps the shaft in the middle or near the hosel.

This year in the member-member did it. Thankfully putted lights out with the wedge after a bent putter shaft.

3. The Sikorsky - when the player is really pissed off and take the club back like a baseball bat and then throws it really hard down the fairway so that it looks like a helicopter rotor turning in the air.  This throwing method usually ends up with a safe club and no damage because the club lands horizontally and the shaft survives the ride and impact of hitting the ground.

Next time your at the course you will see these especially at a muni.



NEVER! Heaven forbid! Although I do play quite a bit with a guy that does this one often and has great control over his tosses--but there are two wedges currently in trees off our 12th hole now.

Matt Varney

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #97 on: June 25, 2008, 01:06:04 PM »
Jed,

The Sikorsky is the safer throw and from what I have seen the club survives but, the guy throwing the club usually ends up hurting his back throwing in anger and frustration.  It really is an amazing sight to watch a club get thrown 100 yards down the fairway while it spins in the air like rotor.  In my years playing and even tournaments the tomahawk can be deadly to golf clubs for damage.  More than likely someone in your group will have at least one or two flings in your round just to blow off some steam.

Pat Brockwell

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #98 on: June 25, 2008, 01:30:57 PM »
It's important to throw the club toward, but not to, the putting surface, or if on the putting surface, toward the next tee, pace of play issues and all.
My father is a master of dealing with the douche bag competitor.  One time in a father son event, the other father missed a short putt, batted it back missing the hole again and then picked it up, never holing out.  On the next tee, Deat Ole Dad asked the fellow what he made on the hole, Turdly said bogey and my Dad asked if he had holed out.  The other guy turned red and angrily came back with "You're just trying to piss me off." To which Dad replied "Better you than me". We won easily in a rather quiet match.

Jed Peters

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #99 on: June 25, 2008, 01:40:04 PM »
Jed,

The Sikorsky is the safer throw and from what I have seen the club survives but, the guy throwing the club usually ends up hurting his back throwing in anger and frustration.  It really is an amazing sight to watch a club get thrown 100 yards down the fairway while it spins in the air like rotor.  In my years playing and even tournaments the tomahawk can be deadly to golf clubs for damage.  More than likely someone in your group will have at least one or two flings in your round just to blow off some steam.

I know, what I posted was (half) fooling around.

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