I presently feel like a little douche bag for inserting myself into other people's battles, and hope that the other parties involved will forgive me. It's only a minor doucheness infraction, but I like to minimize douche at all times.
I generally play with good friends, so the opportunity to play with one of these "offensively defensive" characters doesn't happen often. My general experience is that players, especially big guys, that get very angry over their poor performance, is the hardest to take. Big, angry guys are scary.
I tend to play golf in intense stretches, playing every day for a week at a time, and about twice a week inbetween. It's very hard for me to maintain a happy, postive attitude day after day on the road, and there are days when I am more tired and less patient with myself. I will get whiny, and often curse and cajole myself into playing better. I know I'm not genuinely mad, and just trying to snap myself into playing better, especially when score matters. But a few years back, I played in a member-member tournament with a man who didn't like my attitude. He has a personal caddie he regularly uses, who used to occasionally loop on the PGA tour, and between the two of them, they felt my constant bitching about the imperfections in my shotmaking was unacceptable.
On the first evening of the tournament, they invited to me for dinner at a restaurant. His girlfriend was there. By the time I arrived, they had fortified themselves with a couple drinks, and were feeling happy and loose. As dinner progressed, he sort of ambushed me, stating he did not like or understand my attitude on the course, and felt that it was a form of passive aggression. I believe the caddie had something to do with it, and also imagine that even quiet, consistent bitching is unacceptable at the higher levels of the game. My partner said he prefers to maintain a fully positive attitude on the course, disallowing negative thoughts from entering his mind. So he had a shitty time, and we played poorly.
I sincerely apologized for my actions, though I believed my complaining was less acute than advertised. The girlfriend was furious with her man, quietly shooting daggers across the dinner table for most of the evening. The next day I played quite well, while he played indifferently for most of the day. At some level, it was disarming to have me apologize, then back it up with a sunny demeanor. Nevertheless, we finished last in the tournament.
Although I was polite, I was offended that he did not enjoy my company, and we have never played together since. I have enjoyed virtually every other best ball partner I've had, and experienced no problems offending my partner.