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Tom Huckaby

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #50 on: June 24, 2008, 12:18:31 PM »
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Lord and Lady Douchebag"

SNL - Circa 1975



Craig - great minds - see a few posts up.

 ;D

Matt Varney

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #51 on: June 24, 2008, 12:33:04 PM »
Shivas,

Good one I can honestly tell you I have never ever played with a guy that told me he was a single digit handicap around 3-9 that would shoot a score anywhere close to 100.  Good golfers know hw to stop the bleeding and make good decisions to shoot a score in the 80's. This guy Jack got paired with was a liar about is handicap and a true asshole plain and simple and the game of golf is better off without guys like him at private clubs or public courses.


Mark Pearce

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #52 on: June 24, 2008, 12:39:56 PM »
Shivas,

Good one I can honestly tell you I have never ever played with a guy that told me he was a single digit handicap around 3-9 that would shoot a score anywhere close to 100.  Good golfers know hw to stop the bleeding and make good decisions to shoot a score in the 80's. This guy Jack got paired with was a liar about is handicap and a true asshole plain and simple and the game of golf is better off without guys like him at private clubs or public courses.


Per-Ulrik Johansen, a good enough pro to make a strong European Ryder Cup team once failed to break 100 in a European Tour event and I don't think that scores that day were particularly high.  Sometimes, very occasionally, even the best have very, very bad days.
In June I will be riding the first three stages of this year's Tour de France route for charity.  630km (394 miles) in three days, with 7800m (25,600 feet) of climbing for the William Wates Memorial Trust (https://rideleloop.org/the-charity/) which supports underprivileged young people.

Matt Varney

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #53 on: June 24, 2008, 12:44:49 PM »
Mark,

In a tour event that is one thing totally different but, still that must have been a case study in really bad course management and shot making at its worst.  Good players have bad days on the course but, I think you all would agree that single digit handicap players usually a very strong players and don't shoot 51 on the front 9 and walk off the golf course.

rjsimper

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #54 on: June 24, 2008, 12:52:49 PM »
Matt,

There are plenty of 9 handicaps that will not break 100 on occasion - it happens.  A 9 handicap means that a player's scores are typically in the 82-85 range - Have you ever shot 15 strokes higher than your handicap?

Everyone has a day here or there that nothing will go right - granted it's very likely that the gentleman in question was overstating his ability or had a vanity handicap, but don't put it out of the realm of possibility that a bona fide, tournament-experienced single digit handicapper would not shoot over 100 under any circumstances and/or absent 2 inches of snow on the ground.

I am not ashamed to admit that I have shot over 50 for my front 9 on at least 2 occasions in the past 5 years, and as a 4-6 handicap player I am (regrettably) proof that this can happen. 

Scoring is one thing, behavior is another...clearly some of these people are 36 handicaps in the etiquette department.

In addition, I don't understand why you'd try to make the guy feel bad for walking off after nine holes - to me that sounds like a blessing and I'd hope that nothing happened on his way to his car to persuade him to re-join me on the 10th tee.

Matt Varney

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #55 on: June 24, 2008, 01:36:00 PM »
Ryan,

Fair enough and yes I have had those 9 hole rounds when I am feeling good and swinging well and shoot 48 when I am used to shooting 40.  It happens its golf but, you are correct it was probably a good thing this guy in question walked off to leave the group so they could play.

John Kirk

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #56 on: June 24, 2008, 02:52:45 PM »
I presently feel like a little douche bag for inserting myself into other people's battles, and hope that the other parties involved will forgive me.  It's only a minor doucheness infraction, but I like to minimize douche at all times.

I generally play with good friends, so the opportunity to play with one of these "offensively defensive" characters doesn't happen often.  My general experience is that players, especially big guys, that get very angry over their poor performance, is the hardest to take.  Big, angry guys are scary.

I tend to play golf in intense stretches, playing every day for a week at a time, and about twice a week inbetween.  It's very hard for me to maintain a happy, postive attitude day after day on the road, and there are days when I am more tired and less patient with myself.  I will get whiny, and often curse and cajole myself into playing better.  I know I'm not genuinely mad, and just trying to snap myself into playing better, especially when score matters.  But a few years back, I played in a member-member tournament with a man who didn't like my attitude.  He has a personal caddie he regularly uses, who used to occasionally loop on the PGA tour, and between the two of them, they felt my constant bitching about the imperfections in my shotmaking was unacceptable.

On the first evening of the tournament, they invited to me for dinner at a restaurant.  His girlfriend was there.  By the time I arrived, they had fortified themselves with a couple drinks, and were feeling happy and loose.  As dinner progressed, he sort of ambushed me, stating he did not like or understand my attitude on the course, and felt that it was a form of passive aggression.  I believe the caddie had something to do with it, and also imagine that even quiet, consistent bitching is unacceptable at the higher levels of the game.  My partner said he prefers to maintain a fully positive attitude on the course, disallowing negative thoughts from entering his mind.  So he had a shitty time, and we played poorly.

I sincerely apologized for my actions, though I believed my complaining was less acute than advertised.  The girlfriend was furious with her man, quietly shooting daggers across the dinner table for most of the evening.  The next day I played quite well, while he played indifferently for most of the day.  At some level, it was disarming to have me apologize, then back it up with a sunny demeanor.  Nevertheless, we finished last in the tournament.

Although I was polite, I was offended that he did not enjoy my company, and we have never played together since.  I have enjoyed virtually every other best ball partner I've had, and experienced no problems offending my partner.

Bob_Huntley

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #57 on: June 24, 2008, 03:07:28 PM »
John,

When playing with someone who is playing poorly and complaining about their rotten shots I ask them their handicap. When told that it is a fifteen or whatever, I remind them that then have another six or seven lousy whiffs to make, which is to be expected. Only a scratch man or pro should have the right to bitch about a poor stoke...handicappers are going to screw up and should get used to it.

I must say,  that playing with Shivas at Pasatiempo during KPVI was an eye opener for me. Here is a guy that can put the ball into orbit and pull off some impressive shots, having just a horrible time keeping the ball in the same ZIP code but each sclaff or foozle was followed by a boisterous laugh with no recriminations.  A fun round of golf.

Bob

John Kirk

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #58 on: June 24, 2008, 03:22:56 PM »
I want to point out to our younger members that "sclaffing" is a legitimate golf term.  It means hitting the ground behind the ball on the swing through.  My father learned golf from a book called "The Nine Bad Shots Of Golf", by Jim Dante and Leo Diegel.  Sclaffing is listed as one of the nine bad shots.  I kept the book and it resides on my book shelf.

A sclaff occurs because the player reverse pivots, then throws the club into the turf, resulting in hearty laughter by Shivas or other well adjusted golfers.

The nine bad shots of golf are:

1.  Slicing
2.  Hooking
3.  Topping
4.  Smothering
5.  Pulling
6.  Pushing
7.  Skying
8.  Sclaffing
9.  Shanking

Good one, Bob.

Tom Huckaby

Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #59 on: June 24, 2008, 03:26:10 PM »
I've said it before and I will say it again:  shivas is a darn fun guy with whom to play this game.  He made a lot of friends at TKP, as he always does.  He lost his matches but in the end who was the real winner?

He also hammers home a lesson my Dad taught me long ago:  and that is, it's tough to make the game more fun for others, but it's VERY easy to make it less fun.  He said that to me when as a teenager he embarassingly had to cancel a round with his buddies because they didn't want to play with young hot-head me.

I think it's just about the proudest moment of my golf life when many years later these same guys sought me out, begged my Dad to bring me along, because "he's so fun to play with"....  Oh I'm far from perfect for sure, but I did learn the lesson for the most part.

But anyway, it's a lesson we can all learn from.  No one cares why you are playing as you are.  No one cares if you can play better and are not doing it that day.  But bitching and moaning and other overt acts of anger do make for an unpleasant round for one and all.  And thus if one can't hit impressive shots, well.... one CAN avoid bringing down the group.






Steve Wilson

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #60 on: June 24, 2008, 03:28:59 PM »
I may have told this story before, but as there are always new members I'll share it with them.  The strangest person I ever played with was at Canaan Valley State Park.  We were three singles in the same group.  The first few holes passed without incident, then one of the other players, call him A and devote a few seconds imagining what A could stand for, hit a hook into long grass.  I was off to the right, no surprise there, and by the time I got to the left side of the hole the search for the ball had been underway for a few minutes.  The third member of our group, call him B, was assiduously  searching through the long grass for A's ball.  In the process he had found three or four other balls.  When A finally gave up on finding his ball he confronted B with "Aren't you going to give those balls?"
"Why should I?"
"Because you wouldn't have found them if you hadn't been looking for my ball."  
At first we both thought he was kidding, but it became apparent he wasn't.  B surrendered the balls and the round without further incident, but we didn't conduct any more searches for A's golf balls. He only played nine, much to the relief of B and me.  It was almost like a Candid Camera moment.  I expected Allen Funt or his successor to leap out from behind a tree after they had captured our stunned countenances.  Other than that he kept to himself and thinking back on it I guess that's something he had a lot of experience with.  
Some days you play golf, some days you find things.

I'm not really registered, but I couldn't find a symbol for certifiable.

"Every good drive by a high handicapper will be punished..."  Garland Bailey at the BUDA in sharing with me what the better player should always remember.

Kalen Braley

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #61 on: June 24, 2008, 03:31:45 PM »
Steve,

Player B was way too nice.  I woulda told A where he could shove his 2 iron and then kept the balls.


Lou_Duran

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #62 on: June 24, 2008, 03:35:39 PM »
I was once tasked with telling a very good player in our large weekend group that he needed to speed things up and desist from constantly whining about his poor shots.  It had reached the point where some of our guys insisted on being put in much weaker groups that were sure to lose money than to play with him.   He was in effect put on informal probation, and though he wasn't happy with the message, at least he didn't shoot the messenger.  We actually became good friends over time and played in several partnership events.  I remember that at a member-member, after I wasn't keeping my end of the bargain, he pulled me aside and told me never to apologize for my mistakes, that he knew I was trying my hardest.  Good people can change.

Then there is this other guy who consoles me each time after hitting a poor shot with a simple, heartfelt, solemnly conveyed word of regret: "Pity", then walks down the path to the next tee computing in his head the number of wolf bets in his favor.  Of course, I am just kidding.   ;)  


Bob_Huntley

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #63 on: June 24, 2008, 03:38:34 PM »
I may have told this story before, but as there are always new members I'll share it with them.  The strangest person I ever played with was at Canaan Valley State Park.  We were three singles in the same group.  The first few holes passed without incident, then one of the other players, call him A and devote a few seconds imagining what A could stand for, hit a hook into long grass.  I was off to the right, no surprise there, and by the time I got to the left side of the hole the search for the ball had been underway for a few minutes.  The third member of our group, call him B, was assiduously  searching through the long grass for A's ball.  In the process he had found three or four other balls.  When A finally gave up on finding his ball he confronted B with "Aren't you going to give those balls?"
"Why should I?"
"Because you wouldn't have found them if you hadn't been looking for my ball."  
At first we both thought he was kidding, but it became apparent he wasn't.  B surrendered the balls and the round without further incident, but we didn't conduct any more searches for A's golf balls. He only played nine, much to the relief of B and me.  It was almost like a Candid Camera moment.  I expected Allen Funt or his successor to leap out from behind a tree after they had captured our stunned countenances.  Other than that he kept to himself and thinking back on it I guess that's something he had a lot of experience with.  

Steve Wilson

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #64 on: June 24, 2008, 03:45:37 PM »
Kalen,

You're probably right that B should have done that , but it was so weird.  A was obviously wired up quite a bit differently than B and I.   I don't recall the relative sizes of A and B, just the stupefaction that settled on us.
Some days you play golf, some days you find things.

I'm not really registered, but I couldn't find a symbol for certifiable.

"Every good drive by a high handicapper will be punished..."  Garland Bailey at the BUDA in sharing with me what the better player should always remember.

John Kirk

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #65 on: June 24, 2008, 03:49:45 PM »
Actually, guy who shakes head and says, "Pity.", can be one of my least favorite guys.  Guy who says, "Hit it.", when I leave yet another approach putt short, can be one of my least favorite guys.  Caddie who immediately offers the appropriate corrective remark is one of my least favorite guys.

Of course, guy who says "Pity." is forgiven if he is otherwise disarmingly charming and cheerful. 

Lou_Duran

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #66 on: June 24, 2008, 04:13:51 PM »
John Kirk,

Our mutual friend does get a very deserved pass for the reasons you note and several others.

But, what am I to think of a guy who would describe me as a "neo-con"?  At the outset, let me say I don't carry a 1 or 2 iron.


Steve Wilson,

Why do you find this weird?

By virtue of losing his ball (probably through no fault of his own), A has a need.  B, by finding four balls (life's lottery/lucky sperm theory), has the ability.  Why shouldn't A have a just demand on the property of B?  A clearly demonstrated that he has progressed to "New Man", while B and the other guy remain at a very primitive stage of selfish individualism.    Isn't a sizable proportion of our intelligentsia enamored with precisely this philosophy?

BTW, if I had been B, I would have kept any good ProVxs for myself and gladly offered him the rest.

Adam Clayman

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #67 on: June 24, 2008, 04:18:05 PM »


Thanks for the lesson Adam. ??? 

Wasn't it you who used the term "guinea" on this message board? And no apology even after it was pointed out the derivation?  I guess you must vote Republican ;D

Good, So we are in agreement. You are the only one to use the above term as a derogatory racist  remark.
"It's unbelievable how much you don't know about the game you've been playing your whole life." - Mickey Mantle

Mike Benham

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #68 on: June 24, 2008, 04:55:15 PM »
The irony in all this is that the "douche bag" probably left the course muttering why he had to be  paired with douche bags for the round !!!
"... and I liked the guy ..."

corey miller

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #69 on: June 24, 2008, 05:08:52 PM »


Adam

I am sorry I was wrong and I apologize for that,  it is very hard to remember everything I post especially under a nome de plume.  You did not use the term "gui***".  The term used by you was "d*go".  Just so you know, both are offensive. 







John Mayhugh

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #70 on: June 24, 2008, 05:10:12 PM »
I want to point out to our younger members that "sclaffing" is a legitimate golf term.  It means hitting the ground behind the ball on the swing through.  My father learned golf from a book called "The Nine Bad Shots Of Golf", by Jim Dante and Leo Diegel.  Sclaffing is listed as one of the nine bad shots.  I kept the book and it resides on my book shelf.

A sclaff occurs because the player reverse pivots, then throws the club into the turf, resulting in hearty laughter by Shivas or other well adjusted golfers.

The nine bad shots of golf are:

1.  Slicing
2.  Hooking
3.  Topping
4.  Smothering
5.  Pulling
6.  Pushing
7.  Skying
8.  Sclaffing
9.  Shanking

Good one, Bob.

I have that book too!  The only time I've ever seen the term sclaffing in use.

Voytek Wilczak

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #71 on: June 24, 2008, 05:37:04 PM »
Actually, guy who shakes head and says, "Pity.", can be one of my least favorite guys.  Guy who says, "Hit it.", when I leave yet another approach putt short, can be one of my least favorite guys.  Caddie who immediately offers the appropriate corrective remark is one of my least favorite guys.

Of course, guy who says "Pity." is forgiven if he is otherwise disarmingly charming and cheerful. 

I like the guy who totally keeps his mouth shut on my bad shots and mutters "nice shot (putt)" on my infrequent good shots.

It is difficult to be that guy...

:-)

John Keenan

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #72 on: June 24, 2008, 05:40:57 PM »
The comment I find the most interesting is "that will play"   Is it a complement or are they really saying bad shot but you have a chance?

The things a man has heard and seen are threads of life, and if he pulls them carefully from the confused distaff of memory, any who will can weave them into whatever garments of belief please them best.

David Stamm

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #73 on: June 24, 2008, 05:51:21 PM »
Jack, I saw this thread and thought that you were going to give a belated description of your experience of playing the Shore with yours truly. :-[ ;)
"The object of golf architecture is to give an intelligent purpose to the striking of a golf ball."- Max Behr

Bob_Huntley

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Paired With A Douche Bag
« Reply #74 on: June 24, 2008, 08:31:16 PM »
I want to point out to our younger members that "sclaffing" is a legitimate golf term.  It means hitting the ground behind the ball on the swing through.  My father learned golf from a book called "The Nine Bad Shots Of Golf", by Jim Dante and Leo Diegel.  Sclaffing is listed as one of the nine bad shots.  I kept the book and it resides on my book shelf.

A sclaff occurs because the player reverse pivots, then throws the club into the turf, resulting in hearty laughter by Shivas or other well adjusted golfers.

The nine bad shots of golf are:

1.  Slicing
2.  Hooking
3.  Topping
4.  Smothering
5.  Pulling
6.  Pushing
7.  Skying
8.  Sclaffing
9.  Shanking

Good one, Bob.


John,

But paramount has to be... Foozle.


Bob

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