[Lou_Duran]

On throwing clubs, I watched a golf instruction program where it was stated that players with a proper release get the club moving down the target line longer.  To demonstrate, a good golfer was shown making a swing without a ball and letting the club go at what would be the point of impact.  Sure enough, the club sailed right down the target line.

One day while waiting for the green to clear on a 160 yard par 3 (#11 at Great Southwest GC near Dallas), we were talking about coming over the top and I decided to demonstrate for my mates what I had seen on the tube.  Proving that I must not be a good player (and that Murphy always prevails), I let go precisely at the bottom of my practice swing and my 7-iron flew 45* left of the intended line, hit a pine tree, and bent nearly as much.  My companions thought it was pretty funny, with one sniding that he could have told me that I always came over the top without me having to break a club.   

On another occasion, my son and I played a casual round with one of my regulars and his guest.  My friend was a good player and decent guy,  but he had a bad negative streak in him that from time to time would surface in the form of intense, though short-lived destructive behavior (breaking clubs, kicking or throwing his bag, cursing at himself, etc.).

Anyways, before the round, he warned us that he and his scratch player guest would be having a game of some consequence, that his friend was a bit full of himself (member of serveral clubs, ran two or three businesses for his dad, etc.), and that he could get a bit short and temperamental.  Knowing my friend's own tendencies, I had to wonder how bad this could get given that he felt compelled to warn me about his guest's.  I thought that perhaps my then relatively young son and I should go on our own, but he prevailed upon me to play with them anyways.

Well, we learned that a scratch player can shoot in the mid to upper 80s on a relatively easy, "everything in front of you" course.  Our vocabulary of alternative golf terms was greatly enhanced, as was our astonishment with the depth and breadth of the game's vernacular.  We discovered the dexterity and flexibility of cuss words, and that their potential combinations and permutations are infinite.  All styles of club throwing were witnessed.  Several were broken.  Their golf cart sported a new custom-made moon roof midway the round.

Afterwards, this young man shook our hands just like nothing happened.  In private, my friend apologized.  I don't know how much he had to pay the club for a new cart roof, but he probably won more money than the cost.  My son found the whole experience illuminating, and somewhat amusing.  I was probably more bewildered than he was. 

   

[Peter Pallotta]

Besides the Fling, the Tomahawk, and the Sikorsky, there's the Peter P. You have hold of the driver head and you're about to slam the driver straight down into the bag, hoping to shatter the shaft but not have to pick up any of the pieces, when suddenly you're filled with embarrassment and self-loathing at your own absurd level of anger and inability to deal with it like an adult, and so instead you very slowly and precisely and carefully (like a drunk trying to walk a straight line in front of a cop) ease the driver down back in the bag, and then pat it gently on the head as if to say "you're okay and I love you; the problem is ME". 

By the way, this is called the Peter P because I play golf with a friend named Peter P who tends to do this at least once a round, usually late in the round.

Peter

[tlavin]

Guys who say whatever comes into their minds while constantly thinking of themselves are golf course douche bags of the highest order.

[John Kavanaugh]

Shivas,

What is next...you gonna claim closest to the pin because you have a down hill putt that does not require as much effort to get to the hole?  Anyone who has to ask for verification that they have long drive is a douche bag.

[Lou_Duran]

Guys who break innocent rakes are douchebags.

Ouch!  I was once a douchebag, but learned my lesson.  I landed in a deep footprint at Great Southwest (12th hole), hit an indifferent shot from the greenside bunker, raked my mess with a rake whose fiberglass handle had been previously shattered, slammed the rake down in disgust outside the bunker, and ran a sliver of fiberglass right through the pad of one of my fingers.  Blood started gushing out, but the sliver (and me) was still attached to the handle.  I was able to bread the spliver off, and carefully pulled it through clean.  We were able to get the bleeding stopped and with a band aid, some strong tape, and plenty of tylenol, I finished my round.   I avoid fiberglass handled rakes when I can (the fibers can also penetrate the skin through normal use and they hurt) and always set rakes down gingerly.   

[Carl Nichols]

Here's a story I heard.  They're on the first hole of the first match during a member-guest.  Opponents make a 10-footer for par and concede a 3-footer for same, so the player picks up and walks to the next tee.  They don't discuss at all whether the hole was a push or a victory.  At the next tee the other team realizes that the player was getting 1/2 a stroke and thus had won the hole.  Opponents say he needs to go back and putt; other team laughs, thinking they're just joking around about their own failure to know the stroke situation; they persist, so it's obvious they're serious; we refuse.  The rest of the match is quite chilly.  The team that won the hole finishes 2-up, but that means they get 2 points and the other team gets -2, so they still care about it and go to the head pro, insisting that the player needs to go back and putt.  The pro hems and haws but finally agrees that the player need not putt again.   

[Steve Wilson]

Carl

It's my understanding that when a putt is given the ball is considered in the hole.  Even if you putted and missed it doesn't matter, the putt was given and your play of the hole has ended.

I lost track of strokes in golf league one night and gave a putt that ended the hole in a half rather than a win.  My partner stared holes in me, but it was over and done with.  If my impression is wrong I'm sure one of the rules mavens will correct me.

[John Kavanaugh]

People who get strokes and don't tell their opponents are douche bags. 

[Paul Stephenson]

I have witnessed many a proficient club throwers in my time, but it is the "bogey thrower" that is most memorable.

The best "bogey throw" was in the annual father-son matches my friend and I used to play with our dads.  After 3 putting the first 3 holes, my friend's dad thought enough was enough and threw his putter (Sikorsky style) over the 4th tee and into some very long grass on the other side.  After a few minutes of looking my dad turned to him and said, "the least you could do is throw it where we can find it."  The look he gave him made me wonder if he was going to be without a partner, and me without a father.

Another good "bogey" was the friend who threw his putter that ended up in a tree beside the 16th green (right next to the driveway).  A second was dispatched to knock down the first...then a third.  I guess it was a triple bogey.  One look at the tree coming up the driveway and you'd have thought it was Christmas.  The clubs stayed up there for a couple of days until he could jig together a couple of ball retrievers to get them down.

[Carl Nichols]

People who get strokes and don't tell their opponents are douche bags. 

Both teams had marked cards. 

[rjsimper]

I once played in a HS match against a douche bag of grand proportions - questioning my marking of the ball, playing out of turn on numerous occasions, cursing himself, and my teammate and I under his breath, being inconsiderate to the golf course (my team's home course, and a private club that we were graciously allowed to play) and other transgressions of temper and decorum that the years don't permit me to remember.

All of this occurred at the first 9 of our "home and home" set of 2 nine hole matches.  On the second nine, several days later, at his team's home course (a local muni) a friend of his had returned a driver that he'd borrowed.  My opponent put it in his bag at the beginning of the match and we went on our way.  He played better this round and carded an even par 36 - he handed me his card and asked me to sign and I refused, asking him how many clubs he had in his bag.  When his count reached 15 we involved the coaches who assessed the proper 4 strokes in penalty shots and I snarkily signed for a 40.

'Twas an evil moment at the age of 17, but if retribution is to be sought, best to do so within the rules rather than by breaking them (either of the game or of etiquette)

[John Kavanaugh]

People who get strokes and don't tell their opponents are douche bags. 

Both teams had marked cards. 

If you knew before you picked up your ball you were wrong in the context of a member guest.  

[Carl Nichols]

People who get strokes and don't tell their opponents are douche bags. 

Both teams had marked cards. 

If you knew before you picked up your ball you were wrong in the context of a member guest. 

I didn't. 

[John Kavanaugh]

Then it is an innocent mistake.  If I was the guest I would have gone back to putt just to protect the integrity and reputation of the member.  If you want to be a respected member who always gets a game it is best to never win a member guest.

[John Kavanaugh]

Shivas,

What is next...you gonna claim closest to the pin because you have a down hill putt that does not require as much effort to get to the hole?  Anyone who has to ask for verification that they have long drive is a douche bag.

Well, John, that's just stupid.  It was close.  I suppose I'm supposed to just ignore it.  Actually, my cart partner was the guy saying "you got him, you got him" the whole way up the fairway...

I have been in long drive contests now for 40 years and have never heard the argument that you win because you are longer from the tee.  According to you a drive pefectly down the middle will lose to one hugging the rough because in a 3,4,5 triangle the 5 is longer than the 4.

[Dean Stokes]

1. The Fling - when a player is pissed off and just flings the club low off the ground towards the golf cart holding his bag while mumbling a cuss word and almost hits the cart path.

2. The Tomahawk - when the player is really pissed off and he takes the club directly over his head and throws it end over end like an indian so that it flies just like a tomahawk.  This throwing method usually ends up in a broken shaft due to the force of the club hitting the ground or hitting something like a tree and it snaps the shaft in the middle or near the hosel.

3. The Sikorsky - when the player is really pissed off and take the club back like a baseball bat and then throws it really hard down the fairway so that it looks like a helicopter rotor turning in the air.  This throwing method usually ends up with a safe club and no damage because the club lands horizontally and the shaft survives the ride and impact of hitting the ground.


The latter is the preferred method of ceremonial, ritual toss I described earlier.

My personal favorite has always been the Sikorsky. The last couple of times I went with the full fledged effort (years ago might I add), I did encountered release issues and snap hooked 90 degrees left in to a lake.

Has anyone else suffered this? I had to see a head doctor about it!

[Dan Herrmann]

psst - do you guys know the origin of the "db" word?

Say - how do you prevent yourself from being a db in a match where you see your opponent violate a rule and not call the penalty on himself?

[Bill_McBride]

In my years playing and even tournaments the tomahawk can be deadly to golf clubs for damage.  More than likely someone in your group will have at least one or two flings in your round just to blow off some steam.

I was playing in a fourball at my club when one of the guys, who had just knocked a second straight tee ball into a water hazard, 'tomahawked' his three wood, the shaft snapped, and the part with the head and broken shaft flew right by the head of another player.   

He had the grace to leave the course rather than face the contemptuous stares of the rest of us much longer...

Point, I guess, is that club throwing can hurt someone else (could have been serious in this case) while seldom doing much to relieve the angst of the thrower.

[Tom Huckaby]

psst - do you guys know the origin of the "db" word?

Say - how do you prevent yourself from being a db in a match where you see your opponent violate a rule and not call the penalty on himself?

Dan - that's a hell of a question (the second one) and one I have always struggled with.  Golf is a very strange game in that many times the more you follow the rules the bigger a douchebag you appear to be.

I have never called a penalty on anyone.  Never.  I have in tournament played asked a fellow competitor "did you mean to do X?" as a means of getting him to call it on himself.  If he said no or gave some explanation, that was that.

If I ever call a penalty on someone else during a friendly round, take away my clubs NOW.

TH

[Dan Herrmann]

Tom, I would never do so in a friendly match.  I'm talking about club championship (match play) type events.

I'll call stuff on myself, and I think some think I'm foolish for doing so. 

[Tom Huckaby]

Tom, I would never do so in a friendly match.  I'm talking about club championship (match play) type events.

I'll call stuff on myself, and I think some think I'm foolish for doing so. 

Dan - completely understood.  My feeling is that even in club championship and other "official" events, I just very much prefer to leave it to the infractor to call it on himself, or not.  As I say, a simple "did you really mean to ___" does do wonders for opening a player's mind.  If it doesn't, well... my feeling is he has to live with himself, and that's a far greater negative than the positive he might gain from winning or whatever.

I also fully recognize I would be acting contrary to the rules of golf.

TH

[Michael Moore]

Yes, John, that's precisely correct. With two balls precisely equidistant from the hole on a dead straight hole on a dead straight fairway, the one farthest from the center of the fairway is the longer of the two. That's the beauty of geometry.

Are you saying that if you hit one that was slightly behind and well to the side of a marker that was in the center of the fairway that you would whip out your slide rule and attempt to see if you were the longest?

[Bart Bradley]

Ok, here is my douche bag story....I got two at once.

On my trip to Scotland 2 summers ago, we got paired with two Texans (JakaB this is Texan hate, not asian hate) at Carnoustie who spent the entire round asking my caddie and my father-in-law's caddie for advice, yardages, green breaks...etc.  Of course, they could have taken their own caddies but were just far too cheap.  Then to top it off, they constantly were giving critiques to each others swings/alignment etc..."How's my alignment, Dave?" "Nice plane, Alan"  Dear LORD, by the end of the round my caddie was ready to strangle the douche bags.

So I must add to the list of douche bag behavior...

Not paying for a caddie but constantly asking for help from someone else's caddie.

Bart

[Dean Stokes]

Tom, I would never do so in a friendly match.  I'm talking about club championship (match play) type events.

I'll call stuff on myself, and I think some think I'm foolish for doing so. 

Dan - completely understood.  My feeling is that even in club championship and other "official" events, I just very much prefer to leave it to the infractor to call it on himself, or not.  As I say, a simple "did you really mean to ___" does do wonders for opening a player's mind.  If it doesn't, well... my feeling is he has to live with himself, and that's a far greater negative than the positive he might gain from winning or whatever.

I also fully recognize I would be acting contrary to the rules of golf.

TH

whatever happened to protecting the field gents?

[Tom Huckaby]

Dean:

Great question.

I'd rather the field be a little less protected and I feel like less of a douchebag, I guess. Selfish, yes.  Just do understand a few things:

a) if I see something blatantly wrong - and this hasn't happened very many times - I do at least ASK about it.  Only once that I can recall has a player then denied his action.  More often, he has an explanation, or realizes it's a penalty and calls it on himself.

b) the guys doing this are in no danger of winning anyway, in my experience.  They're playing with me and that means typically they are a field-filler like myself.

TH

[Tags:]

Tags:

[Tags:]

Tags:

Call to undefined function theme_linktree()