There are two separate issues here, not to be confused.
It's one thing how to handle yourself when on site, talking with your hosts, and making post-round chatter. I always think it's good to be polite, but never to lie or mislead.
It's quite another to write a review in which you are honest, analytical snd critical. Only a very small perecentage of you ever get to do that. I dare anybody to go back over the hundreds of reviews I've written in Golfweek and my Best/Worst columns there and tell me that I've been mindlessy upbeat and rosy. That's certainly not how those are read in the industry. To his credit, I don't think even Ron Whitten could be accused of that. I can't vouch the same for other national magazines.
Back to the experience that's more common. I think it's smart to be polite - the "what do you think of my wife" analogy is pretty good. Of course, most people aren't dumb enough to ask that - my wife, Jane, is wonderful, smart. pretty and I know it as does everybody else by the way, and so I never need to ask. But people are dumb enough to ask it in golf, and you have to know that when they do, they rarely expect a real answer. Sometimes, they do take you aside and ask "what did you really think." Here's my suggestion how to handle that:
1) be polite. don't lle. I it's awful, I'll say, "It's an amazing piece of land for golf," or "Some really fine holes out there, but a few awakward ones as well." Not more than that the first go around.
2) If they seem to really want to know, the conversation has to take place quietly, not in publuc view (never in the pro shop, better in the bar over a drink). Then a somewhat more detailed assessment of strengths and weaknesses can take place. But it never helps to say outright "it stinks." I don't care how bad a course is, if that's your reaction, then you shouldn't be a rater. Our job is to make distinctions, draw from experience, and distinquish strengths and weaknesses. Which is not to say that everything is good or wonderful.