The New GCA: Some Suggestions

[ANTHONYPIOPPI]

Sometime in the very near future GolfClubAtlas will be upgraded. I think that would be a great time for the powers that control our universe to create permanent threads for specific topics that have either nothing to do with golf or are beaten like old range balls, thereby making room for pertinent ones.

Here are a few suggestions.

UP ON THE  HILL: Here in Middletown, CT is the only state-run psychiatric facility, which is located on the highest point in town. “Up on the hill,” refers to the nut jobs that look down on us day and night. This area will be dedicated to all the psychotic ramblings from those in GCA Nation that are “up on the hill.” You know who you are. No, you are not paranoid. We are watching you.

THE DOAK SCALE: This is reserved for all the minions of Tom Doak who kiss his backside to the point that most of the rest of humanity is embarrassed for them. If you’ve ever started a thread with Tom Doak’s name in the title you are automatically a member. Below each person’s name, instead of having a running total of the number of posts you have on GCA, the number will indicate how many times you used the word, “Doak.” Anyone questioning Doak or his work or complimenting any living architect and most dead ones will be permanently kicked off. Bringing to light the fact that Sebonack was co-designed by Jack Nicklaus, is grounds for suspension.

YALE: From the front tier of the Biarritz to the Roger Rulewich bunkers, this topic deserves its own place in GCA Nation. Even if Charles Blair Macdonald climbed out of his pine box Geoffrey Childs is the only one qualified to moderate. Noel Freeman’s job will be to occasionally egg him on.

GREAT PHILADELPHIA: So there are some wonderful golf courses in that area. Get over it. Yeah, yeah, we know Merion is messed up and Pine Valley rules above all others. Those who adhere to these views get to play here.

CHECK 1…2…3: From time to time music is discussed. Here’s the place for that. Lloyd Cole takes the helm on this one. To take part you have to purchase his newest CD.

BUY, TRADE, SELL: To hell with EBay. Hey, wouldn’t you be more comfortable knowing that somebody in the Treehouse is using your old equipment even if they think Al Zikorus is God?

TURFHEADS: Now and then there are maintenance related threads that are lead astray by comments from GCA morons who know as much about turfgrass as they do about String Theory. This area will just be for those who maintain, design or build courses. Steve Curry moderates, whether he likes it or not.

THE SHADOW KNOWS: Bring back the anonymous posters. Man, those guys had a lot to contribute. If anyone knows how to get in touch with them pass this on.

CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN and PUPPIES: I have none of my own, but apparently those who do like to fawn over them in public, announcing their arrivals, marriages and graduations. Great, except it has nothing whatsoever to do with golf and some of us find it as nauseating as chugging a glass of expired milk. Here’s the place for you and cute ones.

COURSE F*CKIN' RATINGS: I’m sick of seeing threads about what’s wrong with the lists, the panelists, and the criteria. The topic clogs up GCA like a giant hairball in a small drain. Here’s a place for you to slog away. By the way, I’m a GolfWeek rater. Feel free to use my name in vain.


All the best,
Anthony Pioppi

[Ian Andrew]

Anthony,

I'm still laughing - I read it twice and laughed harder the second time.

I'm guilty of being part of the Children, Grandchildren and Puppies group - I will try to heed the advice behind the humour.

[Joe Hancock]

Anthony,

Your model would be very cumbersome.....moving about from one area to another as topics are updated and such. As it is now, I can click back a page or two quite easily to see what "important" matters I may have missed while I was busy enjoying the mindless banter of kids, turf, one liners and the like.

Your model might work fine for some folks....go start a website and try it.

Joe

[PThomas]

some good stuff in there Anthony

[RJ_Daley]

Tony, I think you left a very important permanant thread out; the one for those of us who struggle to say anything new under the GCA sun; alas we have "writer's block".  

I'll start!

....um...ah...well then...  

[Brock Peyer]

Will there be a permanent thread or area on directions on how to post "ass" pictures as they are referred to here?

Also, it might be a good idea to post a list or database on who to contact for access to certain courses to make it easier on the access hounds.

One last thing, it might be a good idea to have an area called "ultimate fighting" or something like that for people who are just looking to pick fights.

...just a few sarcastic thoughts.

[ANTHONYPIOPPI]

Ian, Paul: Thanks for the kind words.

RJ: Did you just write the words, "writer's block?!?" Do you also stand on the first tee and yell "Shank!" before you hit?

Joe: You've inspired me to create another topic entitled, NO, SERIOUSLY: If will be for all those GCAers who need some help in the humor department. I didn't think I needed to put a disclaimer on this post saying, "For Entertainment Purposes Only."

Brock: Thanks for the input. I like all your ideas.

Anthony

[Matthew Hunt]

Funny Man.....

[RJ_Daley]

Tony, do you think I'd benefit if I had a good editor?  

[Joe Hancock]

Anthony,

Boy, you got me good. I mistook it for a rant.....I don't usually miss humorous posts, but this one went right over my head. Especially the one about kids.....that's a doozy!(now that I get it, of course!)

You must having a good laugh over there, at my expense.....

Joe

[Brad Klein]

How do I sign on to THAT website?

By the way, Tony, would love to see two more sections:

INSTANT CRITIC: Here we dispense with any pretext at informed judgment and simply respond as fast and as mindlessly as possible to photos of golf holes. No labeling allowed. That way, respondents can't betray their biases when commenting because they won't be told in advance whether it's a Rees Jones/Tom Fazio/Greg Norman/Jack Nicklaus layout or a Doak/Hanse/Strantz/Kidd/DeVries. There's also a special default option for those determined to hijack each observation into an account of how the course compares with something by William Flynn.

FREE GOLF PLEASE: In this GPS map-oriented section, posters get on all fours and beg their way onto the great courses of the world by sharing with us their planned itineraries, charter flight schedules, sad news of being rendered homeless, and desparate searches for completing their personal top-100 trifectas.

[Dan Kelly]

You must having a good laugh over there, at my expense.....

Nothing new there, man!

[paul cowley]

....how about a Spanish/pidgin English section, that would have a video option to allow for hand and facial gestures?

I'm becoming quite fluent with this form of communication the past 15 years or so....and I know I am not alone.

Comprendes?  

[Tommy Williamsen]

Sometime in the very near future GolfClubAtlas will be upgraded. I think that would be a great time for the powers that control our universe to create permanent threads for specific topics that have either nothing to do with golf or are beaten like old range balls, thereby making room for pertinent ones.

Here a few suggestions

CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN and PUPPIES: I have none of my own, but apparently those who do like to fawn over them in public, announcing their arrivals, marriages and graduations. Great, except it has nothing whatsoever to do with golf and some of us find it as nauseating as chugging a glass of expired milk. Here’s the place for you and cute ones.

COURSE F*CKIN' RATINGS: I’m sick of seeing threads about what’s wrong with the lists, the panelists, and the criteria. The topic clogs up GCA like a giant hairball in a small drain. Here’s a place for you to slog away. By the way, I’m a GolfWeek rater. Feel free to use my name in vain.


All the best,
Anthony Pioppi

I better get this in quickly.  and my son and I are GD panelists.  I already have her on the wait list.
Woops, forgot to way this is granddaughter.

Sylvia Claire born Nov 24

[Michael Christensen]

Tony,

Do they still let out the "nut jobs" for weekend furloughs?  I lived across the river for most of my life (till I came to my senses and realized winter doesn't have to exist) and still remember the stories of attacks at Bobs and the such.  I like the idea.....some 90% of GCAers would post in this category.

[George Pazin]

If it wasn't already the cause, might I suggest relaxing with a beer or three.

 

From high up on the hill, it appears Tom Doak is the leading living architect. If he were to work on Yale, it would be restored to its former glory, equal to or better than all the Philly greats, especially since Merion & PV have so many bunker and tree problems.

Lloyd could certainly create a tune worthy of the Tom Doak brand, something that would sell here or on eBay. Even GD, Golf and Golfweek, with their many shortcomings and faults, would instantly rate it a classic.

I hope Tom D has a daughter, because my son is already 3 and looking. I figure Sam Woods is already slated for any son that Michelle Wie might have.

- Anon

[John Kavanaugh]

Be sure to issue a mirror attached to a long stick so the transthreadites can periodically check if they still have a set.

[RJ_Daley]

Tony, I believe we must be very careful not to disturb the laboratory conditions of GCA.com, in which the pre-eminent Dr. Katz has made his ongoing 9 year study on the effects of the internet in human social interaction and how golf can be a great therapy for the troubled personality.  Katz is always there watching, as the group plays out our various individual drama.  Let's not make it harder for him to do his work...  

[ANTHONYPIOPPI]

Brad:

Wonderful suggestions. I really like the Instant Critic idea. Reminds me of those blind taste tests where devout drinkers of Bud Light, Miller Light and Coors Light can't tell them apart.

Tommy:

Two pictures? Come on, man, that's really overdoing it. Now, I can't even think about lunch.

George:

I'll see if that helps. It always has in the past.

RJ:

How about we create another area called THE COUCH, where Dr. Katz can perform his tasks?

Anthony

[Jim_Kennedy]

Tony,
Do the doctrinaires (persons inflexibly attached to a practice or theory without regard to its practicality) on this board get their own thread, or would they fall into the 'Up On The Hill' section?  

[Kalen Braley]

THE DOAK SCALE: This is reserved for all the minions of Tom Doak who kiss his backside to the point that most of the rest of humanity is embarrassed for them. If you’ve ever started a thread with Tom Doak’s name in the title you are automatically a member. Below each person’s name, instead of having a running total of the number of posts you have on GCA, the number will indicate how many times you used the word, “Doak.” Anyone questioning Doak or his work or complimenting any living architect and most dead ones will be permanently kicked off. Bringing to light the fact that Sebonack was co-designed by Jack Nicklaus, is grounds for suspension.


All the best,
Anthony Pioppi

Tony,

Seeing how you mentioned Doaks name 5 times in this thread, in one paragraph no less, does this mean that your not only a Doak Club member, but also the President?  

[ANTHONYPIOPPI]

Jim:

There is a sub-catagory inside of UP on the Hill for just those people. You'll do me a favor and show those people to their rooms when the time comes or would you just rather conduct the group session?

Anthony

[Jim_Kennedy]

They know which room is theirs, unescorted, and as RJ noted, we have Dr. Katz for sessions.

I'm on vacation.  

[ANTHONYPIOPPI]

Kalen:

Thanks for pointing that out but I lack THE major credential to become president of the fan club: I don't think Tom Doak walks on water. Yeah, I'm one of the Pagens.

Anthony

[Norbert P]

Great post Anthony.

 It's not like me to commandeer a thread away from lighthearted banter but there are some issues with the GCA format that I think could be changed for the better. (I hope this doesn't come across as a bashing.)

I like the fact that topics rotate by popularity and current eventness but if this site is to be a great database for golf architecture, then it needs some parameters for searching old discussions. I'm not just picking on the dodgy SEARCH function; it has to do with categorization and indexing. There is none.

 Ran, what you have here is amazing. It is ubiquitous throughout Google searches. Time and time again, Google comes up with a link to your site. Your time, money and effort are nothing short of heroic. I only wish that the next format will have more available info from the asylu . . . er, uh, Forum.  I know you have close ties with the YABB fellers, but I think if they offered some other features, the site would be more usable.  Again, every word andpicture you've presented in Course Profiles and Interviews are outstanding, important, and timeless. And the My Home Course and In My Opinion options are much appreciated (if not a constant reminder of my weighty guilt).
   I used to go to a website  http://www.sciforums.com/ but I grew tired of arguing about science. Heck! Read a book if you want the freakin' answer!   (GCA is much more subjective)Anyway,  their Forum format is easier to access more specific topics.  I'd explain but , well, just click on the hyperlink.

   . . . . Jeopardy music . . .

 Basically, it keeps Forum topics in categories instead of filing by chronology. Now, I like the currentness of topics but if someone comes into GCA.com once a week, it's a gambit to find what one is interested in.  

  Just off the top of my head. . .   In the FORUM . . .
   I'd like New topics kept chronologically on 3 pages, then they would be relegated to File status. The section is chosen by the otriginal poster.
   I'd like to see Forum-offered course topics titled by regions and Private / Public.
   I'd like to see a section on turf and soil.
   I'd like to see a section on Historic Architects
   I'd like to see a section on Living Architects
   I'd NOT like to see a section on the PGA, etc. but know that many of you would.
    I'd like to see a section on books.
    A section on Best Beveridge Cart Girls
    An Off Topic section.
    An FYI section for upcoming events.
    A golf excursion invitation section.
    Technology ?
    What's new in construction.
    Etcetera . . .
   

  All that said, . . .

"I don't know nothing about birthin' no babies!"
 Butterfly McQueen


P.S.   I find it shameful that Ran has more Course Profiles than My Home Course entries and we outnumber him 1500 to 1.

P.S.S.  I am a bloated hypocrite.