"Wayne Morrison, I knew you were rude but I didn't know you were this rude.
Tiger Woods has never played Merion.
What the hell's the matter with you? You call him up right now and invite him to play.
In return maybe he will give us a ride on his Gulfstream."
Tom,
I did write to Tiger Woods, care of IMG, and invited him to play Merion and Pine Valley (he hasn't played there yet either). I presumed that the Mayor wouldn't mind taking Tiger around PVGC. I haven't heard back, nor do I expect to. But who knows? Stranger things have happened. Then again, Woods has a former Amateur competitor and, from what I hear, friend that is a member at both and just happens to be the next Walker Cup captain to boot.
In any event, I hope he comes to visit even if he blows me off for rounds with Buddy. While they're playing Merion, maybe he will let us go for a joy ride in the Gulfstream or better yet, Boeing business jet. Why don't you contact your neighbor's stewardess so we can join the Mile High Club. But you're probably in that already after your return flight from the Bahamas
Hey, if not Tiger, there's always Bill Murray. Let's get that one together.