Nominations for horrible golf writing.

[John Kavanaugh]

I can't believe this was spewed from the bowels of a Golfweek writer.  

My favorite line: A full 18 followed, and any notion that Benkusky had sold his patron a bill of goods was quashed by Canyata's recent debut at No. 35 on Golfweek's Best New Courses list.

http://www.golfweek.com/destinations/features/293305156682263.php

[David_Tepper]

Are any or all of your past 2,569 posts eligible for consideration?  

[Mike_Cirba]

Heroin, I tell you.  

How long are you jonesing before starting a psuedo-rating thread, John?  Do you try to hold yourself back for hours, sweat pouring off your furrowed brow, hands trembling slightly, until that flush of relief as fingers meet keyboard?

Or, do you dive right in, throwing caution, self-control, and discipline to the wind, embracing your addiction rather than fighting it, smiling...nay, laughing loudly and maniacally as you point out the frailties of the rating game for the world?

In either case, John, you're hooked my friend.  

[wsmorrison]

Mike C,

Just don't lump all us rater bashers in the same category.  Try to remember that rater bashers are people too  

[Mike_Cirba]

Mike C,

Just don't lump all us rater bashers in the same category.  Try to remember that rater bashers are people too  

Wayne,

There is nothing wrong with rater bashers, as long as they recognize their problem, admit they're powerless against it, and then seek treatment and counseling.   Why, I count several among my dearest best friends!  

[Mike_Cirba]

p.s.   Betcha didn't know that David M. is a rater basher, so they come in all stripes.  

[John Kavanaugh]

Mike,

I assumed the guy was not a rater.  Between the comped private jet ride and driving a Subaru he seemed more like a Congressman.

[Geoffrey Childs]

John

Cheer up my friend.  For once how about a thread where the glass is half full instead of all this negativity, doom and gloom rater and architect obituary threads.

Life is short and golf is for our enjoyment and the camaraderie of good friends.

ENJOY IT You can't save the world by bashing writers, raters and GCA participants.

[Mike_Cirba]

Mike,

I assumed the guy was not a rater.  Between the comped private jet ride and driving a Subaru he seemed more like a Congressman.

Too funny, John but that's not what irked you.

It was the reference to #35, wasn't it?   C'mon man...being honest with yourself is the first step towards freedom!  

The truth will set you free and all that jazz.  

[John Kavanaugh]

Has anyone taken the time to read the article.  That is not golf writing.

[wsmorrison]

"p.s.  Betcha didn't know that David M. is a rater basher, so they come in all stripes. "

You're trying to turn me to the dark side, aren't you?  With quotes like that, you just might make me your apprentice

[Mike_Cirba]

Wayne,

I am your father.



   

[Joe Hancock]

John

Cheer up my friend.  For once how about a thread where the glass is half full instead of all this negativity, doom and gloom rater and architect obituary threads.

Life is short and golf is for our enjoyment and the camaraderie of good friends.

ENJOY IT You can't save the world by bashing writers, raters and GCA participants.

Geoffrey,

Don't discourage him. After all, we are thick-skinned folks 'round these parts. What if he were to unleash his fury on the wine folks? Would they hold up as well as this illustrious group? Or, worse yet......McDonald's bashing......

Other than that, I agree about the positive stuff. Like my Dad used to say, "I'd like to be an optimist, but I don't think it would work out...".

Joe

[Joe Hancock]

On a related note, the GCSAA once had a President in place that, on his own, struggled to structure a sentence at the third grade level. I saved correspondence from him, to read when I need a good laugh. True story....

Joe

[John Kavanaugh]

Circle the wagons Golfweek boys because this next line is steamin:

His personal chef, Jean Ann, served us a hearty chicken salad lunch before we headed to the golf carts outside. Briefly, the golf carts: Heated, leather bucket seats. Chrome rims. Headlights and brake lights. A horn. In sum, nicer than my '98 Subaru wagon.

Note:  Jean Ann is not french...she is a 40 something Terre Haute housewife.  Is this the stuff that makes you proud to represent the fine magazine.  Jean is just a nice woman who cooks for guests of the course..why make her out to be something more.

[Rick Shefchik]

I read it. It falls comfortably into the norm for the vast majority of golf writing, which is why I usually skim over golf writing these days. No fault of the author, really; how many ways can you describe, in a couple of paragraphs, a golf course no one else has seen? I noticed that even Tom Doak used the adjective "challenging" to describe one of his recent projects. The dictionary just doesn't have enough words to make this stuff rise to the level of literature. That's why guys are reduced to making references to their Subaru. As far as the rating reference, it would have made no impact on me at all if Barney hadn't quoted it.

If there is a genius out there doing golf writing, I don't know who it might be.  

[John Kavanaugh]

The rating reference is either a genius sarcastic cut to the owner and architect or a terrible blunder.  I'm going with blunder.

35th best new is crap for this investment and the goals of the owner.

[Mike_Cirba]

His personal chef, Jean Ann, served us a hearty chicken salad lunch before we headed to the golf carts outside. Briefly, the golf carts: Heated, leather bucket seats. Chrome rims. Headlights and brake lights. A horn. In sum, nicer than my '98 Subaru wagon.

John,

I can almost taste the crisp lettuce settling into my gullet and feel the toasty seat warmer on my butt.

[John Kavanaugh]

Mike,

No seat warmers...just a $40 propane torch like every hillbilly in Southern Illinois already owns.

[John_Cullum]

If there is a genius out there doing golf writing, I don't know who it might be.  

You can start by checking out that you tube video on the Irish Golf Writers thread.

[Rick Shefchik]

John,

I did, and it's funny, but would the clip have been as amusing/entertaining without all the f-bombs?

Hey, I use them in my writing, too, when I think they're necessary, but I'm no genius, either.

[John_Cullum]

No, it needed that to parody Joyce.

[John Kavanaugh]

Here is the complete architectural content of the article.  Everything else is fit for an US profile since People would have rejected this crap.

The course begins with a smart little dogleg left, a 354-yard par-4 to a wee, tricky green. It's only the first of several devilish short par 4s that tempt you to bite off too much, cut a corner, play the hero – and, at least occasionaly, reward you for doing so with a putt for eagle 2. The drop-shot par-3 third gets you questioning the whole flat Midwest cliché, and the terrain proves muscular as Tiger's torso. Despite its impressive scale, Canyata is, in the end, a thinker's course, playable for and interesting to all types of games.

[cary lichtenstein]

John:

I disagree. I think he wrote about the "rich and famous experience" and not about the golf course which probably didn't impress him very much.

How would you write about Rich Harvest Farms, #45 on Golf DiIgest's top 100 List?

Cary

[John_Cullum]

The course begins with a smart little dogleg left, a 354-yard par-4 to a wee, tricky green. It's only the first of several devilish short par 4s that tempt you to bite off too much, cut a corner, play the hero – and, at least occasionaly, reward you for doing so with a putt for eagle 2. The drop-shot par-3 third gets you questioning the whole flat Midwest cliché, and the terrain proves muscular as Tiger's torso. Despite its impressive scale, Canyata is, in the end, a thinker's course, playable for and interesting to all types of games.

That is rather putrid.