[Patrick_Mucci_Jr]

JakaB,

Variety is what seperates golf courses from tennis courts.

But, assembling a collection of 18 good to great holes can't be bad.

If there were a dozen exact replicas of NGLA's throughout the country, how bad could that be ?

I think it would be good for golf as it would expose more and more golfers to that style of architecture and PLAY.

A great combination of "challenge" and "fun".

A lesson that a course doesn't have to be 7,400 yards to be a great golf course.

[paul cowley]

I think it would be a great idea....but its success would be totally dependent on the design strengths of the 18 holes.

Therein lies the challenge.

[Mike_Cirba]

Mike,

You've obviously gotten into some serious MBA-speak, with all that "variety on demand", "return on investment", "downside", and such.  

Nevertheless, I can smell the piping hot cellophane.

Eric,

In a show of good faith to our investment community, I'm now prepared to offer definitive photographic proof of our new venture.   Below, please see our driver excitedly getting ready to deliver his first course.   Please note that the truck is much, MUCH longer than it appears in the pictures, and goes on for 100 or so acres beyond the right side.   It's sort of narrow, and doesn't offer as much width as this group tends to expect, but remember, this is just our first prototype of template holes, kinda like CB Macdonalds earliest course at Chicago Golf.  We expect to be delivering repeatable NGLA quality within a few tries.



Get on board early, and you can expect big earnings.   Next, some advertising promotion that we expect to be a big hit with the aging boomer crowd.   Yes, I know it still says "sandwiches", but that's nothing a little white-out and Sharpie can't fix to say "Golf Courses"!  



Finally, our delivery driver is aboard and departing, and heading out to some lucky city with the goods.



In the true spirit of total disclosure, please note that our new business model and restructuring will have none of the messiness and risk associated with this OBVIOUSLY BIASED and BLATANTLY untrue FDA report from 1990.

   FDA ENFORCEMENT REPORT
                               FOR NOV. 14, 1990

                                                         November 14, 1990

Recalls and Field Corrections:

                                     FOODS

                  Class I - A situation in which there is a reasonable
                  probability that the use of, or exposure to, a violative
                  Product will cause serious adverse health consequences or
                  death.


Product:          Stewart Sandwiches:
                  (a) Toasted Ham & Cheese Sandwich, 2.75 ounces;
                  (b) Ham & Cheese on a bun, 3.0 ounces;
                  (c) Chili Dog on a bun, 3.0 ounces;
                  (d) Quarter Pounder on a bun, 5-3/4 ounces;
                  (e) Submarine Sandwich, 3-1/2 ounces.
                  Recall #F-725/729-0.
Code:             Lot numbers: (a) 0195, 0163, 0365; (b) 0512, 0642;
                  (c) 3381, 3393; (d) 0665, 0735; (e) 0654, 1214.
Manufacturer:     Stewart Sandwiches, Inc., Norfolk, Virginia.
Recalled by:      Manufacturer, by telephone beginning March 27, 1990.
                  Firm-initiated recall complete.
Distribution:     Southeastern United States.
Quantity:         Firm estimates none remains on the market.
Reason:           Product was contaminated with Listeria monocytogenes.

                                     ----

                                      -1-


It isn't that our product doesn't still contain Listeria monocytogenes, but instead we've turned that around to be a big positive.   You see, our company scientists have found that it works tremendously as a turfgrass enhancer during the grow-in process, shortening that normally unpredictable time period to 3-5 minutes.

[Joe Hancock]

I would have preferred the predictability of a Hooters franchise....

Or do we have that with all the containment mounding....

Joe

[Guy Nicholson]

I'm all for affordable golf, but I don't know too many people on the poverty line who are wringing their hands looking for it. McDonald's pulls in the poor because they HAVE to eat ... I'm not sure the same could be said about golf. I think a franchise like that would pull in a lot of blue-collar golfers and middle-low-income retirees, but I'm not sure about the truly poor.

[Mike_Cirba]

I'm all for affordable golf, but I don't know too many people on the poverty line who are wringing their hands looking for it. McDonald's pulls in the poor because they HAVE to eat ... I'm not sure the same could be said about golf. I think a franchise like that would pull in a lot of blue-collar golfers and middle-low-income retirees, but I'm not sure about the truly poor.

Guy,

That's my satirical point exactly, no matter how comically convoluted I may have gotten.  

John's suggestion that those on the poverty line can and should play golf is perhaps well-meaning, but unless they have the financial wherewithal to sustain an interest and ongoing participation, it's not going to happen successfully over the longer term.  

It seems to me that for people having trouble putting food on the table or meeting the basic necessities for their families are not going to have golf high on the list of personal priorities, nor should they.   I seriously doubt the answer here for the dispossessed is "Let them play golf".

The model might work in a country like Sweden, which has historical low golf participation trending upwards rapidly, and a social safety net that is much more egalitarian and poverty-reducing than what we have in the states, for better or worse, as John Chiver-Stainer pointed out.   However, there are social and multi-cultural issues in the US that are much different than occur in a more single-strata country like Sweden, and as well-intentioned as programs like "First Tee" might be, I'm not seeing inner city US kids trading in their basketball shoes for soft spikes.

[Dan Kelly]

Mike,

You've obviously gotten into some serious MBA-speak, with all that "variety on demand", "return on investment", "downside", and such.  

Nevertheless, I can smell the piping hot cellophane.

Eric,

In a show of good faith to our investment community, I'm now prepared to offer definitive photographic proof of our new venture.   Below, please see our driver excitedly getting ready to deliver his first course.   Please note that the truck is much, MUCH longer than it appears in the pictures, and goes on for 100 or so acres beyond the right side.   It's sort of narrow, and doesn't offer as much width as this group tends to expect, but remember, this is just our first prototype of template holes, kinda like CB Macdonalds earliest course at Chicago Golf.  We expect to be delivering repeatable NGLA quality within a few tries.



Get on board early, and you can expect big earnings.   Next, some advertising promotion that we expect to be a big hit with the aging boomer crowd.   Yes, I know it still says "sandwiches", but that's nothing a little white-out and Sharpie can't fix to say "Golf Courses"!  



Finally, our delivery driver is aboard and departing, and heading out to some lucky city with the goods.



In the true spirit of total disclosure, please note that our new business model and restructuring will have none of the messiness and risk associated with this OBVIOUSLY BIASED and BLATANTLY untrue FDA report from 1990.

   FDA ENFORCEMENT REPORT
                               FOR NOV. 14, 1990

                                                         November 14, 1990

Recalls and Field Corrections:

                                     FOODS

                  Class I - A situation in which there is a reasonable
                  probability that the use of, or exposure to, a violative
                  Product will cause serious adverse health consequences or
                  death.


Product:          Stewart Sandwiches:
                  (a) Toasted Ham & Cheese Sandwich, 2.75 ounces;
                  (b) Ham & Cheese on a bun, 3.0 ounces;
                  (c) Chili Dog on a bun, 3.0 ounces;
                  (d) Quarter Pounder on a bun, 5-3/4 ounces;
                  (e) Submarine Sandwich, 3-1/2 ounces.
                  Recall #F-725/729-0.
Code:             Lot numbers: (a) 0195, 0163, 0365; (b) 0512, 0642;
                  (c) 3381, 3393; (d) 0665, 0735; (e) 0654, 1214.
Manufacturer:     Stewart Sandwiches, Inc., Norfolk, Virginia.
Recalled by:      Manufacturer, by telephone beginning March 27, 1990.
                  Firm-initiated recall complete.
Distribution:     Southeastern United States.
Quantity:         Firm estimates none remains on the market.
Reason:           Product was contaminated with Listeria monocytogenes.

                                     ----

                                      -1-


It isn't that our product doesn't still contain Listeria monocytogenes, but instead we've turned that around to be a big positive.   You see, our company scientists have found that it works tremendously as a turfgrass enhancer during the grow-in process, shortening that normally unpredictable time period to 3-5 minutes.

Mike --

Count me in!

You've obviously earned the post of CEO at Stewart Sandwiches 'n' Golf Courses.

I'll be honored to take a ceremonial position. Like, say, Chairman of the Board?

Dan

P.S. Post of the Year!

P.P.S. Cf. "Project Stewart Sandwich," at http://www.stewdio.org/index.html?project=sandwich. Another bold and innovative thinker!

[Mike_Cirba]

Dan,

I was thinking more in terms of "Press Secretary", but the upside is that it would be a Cabinet Level position.  Either that or "Kommisar'.  

As part of your duties, you will not only continue our life-long quest of helping to resurrect the Stewart Sandwich Dynasty, but you must also constantly be on the watch for cheap, inferior, trademark-infringing upstarts like the one you note on your link..

Nice find, Dan, and let's go after them with the full force of 100 acre course-hauling vans, as well as the usual legal remedies.   Our stockholders are counting on us!  

[Dan Kelly]

As part of your duties, you will not only continue our life-long quest of helping to resurrect the Stewart Sandwich Dynasty...

Mike --

I've just now learned (via The Google) a bit of the history of the E.A. Sween Company of my very own Minnesota: "The history of E.A. Sween Company dates back to 1955 when Earl A. Sween purchased the Minnesota franchise for Stewart Sandwiches. The company was known then as Stewart In-Fra-Red Commissary of Minnesota -
In-Fra-Red because of the 'pre-microwave' infrared ovens. Sween had one territory selling over 7000 sandwiches a month."

Stewart Sandwiches, in Minnesota, in the 1950s. I was eating some of those sandwiches!

And then: "To facilitate even greater growth, the franchise agreement with Stewart Sandwiches was ended in 1980. The company became independent and launched the Deli Express brand."

Guess what, Mike! Deli Express is EVERYWHERE in Minnesota. In fact, it's the sandwich brand stocked by the Lobby Shoppe in my newspaper's building. Once every few weeks, when I have brought no lunch and don't want to go out, I drop down to the Lobby Shoppe and pick up a sandwich.

A Deli Express (nee Stewart) sandwich!

And not just any Deli Express sandwich, but a Deli Express Chuckwagon!

I'm STILL eating Stewart Sandwiches, after all these years!

Do you get Deli Express in Philly? If not, I'll buy you a few and ship them East.

No, they can't quite match a Stewart Chuckwagon -- but what could?

Dan

[Mike_Cirba]

Mike --

I've just now learned (via The Google) a bit of the history of the E.A. Sween Company of my very own Minnesota: "The history of E.A. Sween Company dates back to 1955 when Earl A. Sween purchased the Minnesota franchise for Stewart Sandwiches. The company was known then as Stewart In-Fra-Red Commissary of Minnesota -
In-Fra-Red because of the 'pre-microwave' infrared ovens.

Dan, good to see you on the job so quickly.   You'll note that your new title of "Kommisar" has very real historical relevance, a nice thing considering the focus on tradition and heritage that this board highlights.

Sween had one territory selling over 7000 sandwiches a month."

Stewart Sandwiches, in Minnesota, in the 1950s. I was eating some of those sandwiches!

Yes, i'm sure we both did, which likely  explains a lot.  

And then: "To facilitate even greater growth, the franchise agreement with Stewart Sandwiches was ended in 1980. The company became independent and launched the Deli Express brand."

Guess what, Mike! Deli Express is EVERYWHERE in Minnesota. In fact, it's the sandwich brand stocked by the Lobby Shoppe in my newspaper's building. Once every few weeks, when I have brought no lunch and don't want to go out, I drop down to the Lobby Shoppe and pick up a sandwich.

A Deli Express (nee Stewart) sandwich!

And not just any Deli Express sandwich, but a Deli Express Chuckwagon!

Dan, I'm not sure if Deli Express is sold around here and I'm skeptical whether they actually taste the same without being subjected to intense "INFRA-RED" rays permeating the meat without singeing the cellophane.   Can you vouch for their epicurean, legendary, culinary wonderfulness, or like many of our classic courses, has something uniquely special been lost over time?  

I'm STILL eating Stewart Sandwiches, after all these years!

Do you get Deli Express in Philly? If not, I'll buy you a few and ship them East.

How well do those things travel, Dan?  

No, they can't quite match a Stewart Chuckwagon -- but what could?

That's the ultimate question here, isn't it?  Are these as good as the originals, or are they inferior templates?

Can a "restoration" effort ever produce something as wonderful as exists in our romantically nostalgic memories?

[Mike_Cirba]

Dan,

Based on your new information about the possible resurrection of the ultimate sandwich, I'm obviously trying to contain my buoyant excitement and boyish enthusiasm here with some proper Muccian skepticism.  

Are they the real deal, or not?  

Does the bun get crispy??

Will the cheese burn the roof of your mouth if you approach it with too much fervor???

Does the meat have that scrumptious, tasty juiciness and obviously healthy vitality that fills one with the energy and strength of youth?

Does the cellophane bag still fill with steamy goodness and release vapors with the intensity of a nuclear cooling tower when opened??

and most importantly...

Does eating one make you want to RUSH RIGHT BACK TO THE CONVECTION OVEN TO EAT THEM AGAIN AND AGAIN???

[Guy Nicholson]

Guy,

That's my satirical point exactly, no matter how comically convoluted I may have gotten.  

John's suggestion that those on the poverty line can and should play golf is perhaps well-meaning, but unless they have the financial wherewithal to sustain an interest and ongoing participation, it's not going to happen successfully over the longer term.  

It seems to me that for people having trouble putting food on the table or meeting the basic necessities for their families are not going to have golf high on the list of personal priorities, nor should they.   I seriously doubt the answer here for the dispossessed is "Let them play golf".

The model might work in a country like Sweden, which has historical low golf participation trending upwards rapidly, and a social safety net that is much more egalitarian and poverty-reducing than what we have in the states, for better or worse, as John Chiver-Stainer pointed out.   However, there are social and multi-cultural issues in the US that are much different than occur in a more single-strata country like Sweden, and as well-intentioned as programs like "First Tee" might be, I'm not seeing inner city US kids trading in their basketball shoes for soft spikes.

Well, at least the Swedes can ring in a new Golden Arches Age of GCA ... would you like pickled herring with that?

[John Chilver-Stainer]

Mike

The golf course in a container concept is pure genius.

The advantages.

•   The weather is always perfect.
•   You can dictate the wind direction for the time of day.
•   24 hour “lights on” the golf course.
•   Synthetic grass with firm and fast conditions (no greenkeepers)
•   No out of bounds or safety problems (the bounce-off-the-wall ball will become a new strategy).
•   The low ceiling forces the ground game ( I like that one)
•   At the end of the day you can collect all of the lost golf balls by leaning the container over to one side.

The Stewart franchise will of course be of Scottish descent, adding to the credibility of the  concept.

Oh by the way the Migros Supermarket Golf was in Switzerland not Sweden.  

I’ve nothing against the creative use of the English language which has introduced some interesting alternatives to the original. Mixed in with some creative geography it can richen our dull life and add entertaining confusion to our regulated existence.

A small test for you:-

Which country is closest to New England?

 Scotland, Switzerland or Sweden.

[Mike_Cirba]

John,

Yes, although when we test marketed our potential consumers, the number one answer to the advantages to the golf course in a container concept was, "It's transportable!"

I'm not sure where they'd like to take it exactly, though.  

You've grasped the rest of the advantages nicely, though, and come up with a few like the ground game that hadn't occurred to us.   Dan Kelly;  make sure that gets in the marketing literature.

Big OOOPS on Sweden versus Switzerland here.   Where's that Dan Kelly to edit my stuff when I need him?!  

As far as your question, it seems to me that Scotland is the westernmost country, and therefore closest to New England, but I'm guessing it's probably Switzerland for reasons I cannot fathom at 6:44 am.    

[John Chilver-Stainer]

Transportable golf courses – take it with you on holiday

Why not portable golf courses – looks like we’re back to John K’s take-away golf courses.

You were right thinking you were wrong.

Can you imagine Scotland being “close” to anywhere that’s called Engand!
New England and Switzerland are ”closest” through their love of cheese fondues.

[Tom Huckaby]

Tommy:

Instead of repeating that I don't get it, why don't you tell me why?

Because I still don't see the harm of this concept.  Tom Doak says that once people see the standard quality of this, none will ever go to the more unique courses.  But.... I think Tom Doak is..... dare we say it on this board...WRONG.

I see these as a low-cost, decent but boring alternative, existing for those who want a decent time at a rock-bottom price.  Kinda like Macdonalds.

If Tom's right - extending the analogy - then why haven't all other hamburger restaurants been wiped off the face of the earth?

In the same way, these courses will exist side by side those with more charm, quirk, uniqueness, whatever.  The Mac-courses will be there for those who can only spend so much - and will give these people decent golf - just as Macdonalds gives them a decent hamburger.  But other more unique courses won't suffer at all - as I say, those for whom price isn't the determining factor will continue to seek them out - just as those who favor better hamburgers continue to pack places such as Kirk's Steakburger here in the Bay Area.

Disagree, Tommy?  Then tell me why.  I enjoy your pithy quotes, but this time I am truly trying to learn.

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