In a eureka moment over lunch (must have been the jam/jelly doughnut), I have perfected the 'Patent Bonnar St A Composite Golf Course' for the exclusive use of the R&A, the Links Trust and those good ole' boys of the PGA in forthcoming events at the home of golf.
Futhermore, by a stroke of genius, I have come up with not one but two, yes, two possible versions.
Version 1: 'The Tiger-proof Mammoth'
Composed of the longest 18 holes at St A, this 'wee gem' will go on to stand the test of time for at least a generation (or at least until the manufs. develop the next big thing)
Hole Name Yge.
1. Eden 2 449
2. Jub 3 546
3. New 3 511
4. Strath 5 497
5. TOC 5 514
6. Jub 6 498
7. Eden 9 505
8. Jub 11 497
9. Jub 12 538
Front Nine: 4555 yds
10. Strath 11 512
11. New 12 518
12. Jub 14 438
13. TOC 14 530
14. Eden 16 513
15. Eden 17 432
16. Jub 16 428
17. TOC 17 455
18. Jub 18 437
Back Nine: 4263 yds
Total Yge: 8818
This layout will obviously require the use of a Segway HT with Golf attachment. We can therefore dispense with the services of those nonsensical appendages known as 'caddies'.
Version 2: 'The Actually-Possible Routing'
Hole Name Yge.
1. TOC 1 376
2. TOC 2 411
3. New 3 511
4. TOC 5 514
5. TOC 6 374
6. TOC 7 359
7. New 12 518
8. New 8 481
9. TOC 12 316
Front Nine: 3860 yds
10. TOC 13 418
11. TOC 14 530
12. Eden 1 326
13. Eden 2 449
14. Eden 9 505
15. TOC 15 414
16. TOC 16 381
17. TOC 17 455
18. TOC 18 357
Back Nine: 3835 yds
Total Yge: 7695
This routing even has the benefit of retaining TOC 1,2 17 and 18 as a nice traditional start and end to the proceedings. Missing out those dull TOC holes 8, 9 and 10 is another Bonus!
I have taken the precaution of registering these layouts at the Patent Office. I can be contacted through my Solicitors: Messrs. Screwem, Fleesum and Bleedemdrigh.
FBD.