...and a poet!
I found this poem while doing some research. I had some problems with the format and the language, but I think I have it in order.
HOO ANDRA FOOZLED OOT
By TOM BENDELOW
The links were bricht an' bonnie
Wi' tartan an' wi' plaid,
When the pride o' Skeebo village
Play'd the best that Cleveland haid.
The play was fast and furious
As soon's the ba' was thwack'd,
But in the final test o' skill
Ae' point oor Andra' lack'd.
The caddies stood wi' bated breath
An' every ee was set,
For no a mon was in that crood
But had his siller bet.
Ae' caddie cried as wi' his club
Oor Andra' faced the ba',
"Hoot mon, play up, and show them noo
Hoo Skeebo beats them a'."
Oor John he never winked an ee
Nae maitter fat they said,
He kent old Andra's game gey well
An' it never fashed his head.
He kent that a' he had tae dae
Was play a waiting game,
Sae a' he did wis cracked a joke
Wi' him o' library fame.
A' even at the seventeenth hole
Was hoo the game did stand
When Andra' stepped up tae the tee
Wi' driver in his haun'.
Oor Andra' look'd up at the sky,
An' then doon at the dirt,
An' cannily he weigh'd his club,
An' loos'd his pleated shirt.
An' then he plaintit baith his feet,
An' syne replantit each,
An' swung his club St. Andrew's style,
As high as he could reach.
Grim death, at just that moment micht,
Hae been old Andra's wush,
For the atmosphere resountit
To a michty empty swush.
His club flew like a rocket,
But, alas, the weird decreed,
The ba' row'd twa feet sickly
An' just lay doon an' deid.
Oor John noo steeped forward
A' een on him were set,
An' caddies o' the Skeebo tribe
Looked dour and glum you bet.
John waggled free and easy like
As he looked doon at the ba',
Bit he wisna taking chances
Wi' old Andra' ava'.
Sae takin' extra care he drave
A laich and rinning ba'.
An' Andra' wis richt vext tae find
He'd be on the green in twa.
Auld Andra' took his trusty cleek
An' fire wis in his ee
Tae try an' make a brilliant shot
An' lat his backers see,
That he wis in the rinnin' still.
An' could the game still win,
By swipin' sic a mar-vellus shot
An' holing the next yin.
He missed the ba' an.d brake his club,
Then kicked it wi' his fit,
Which pit him far's the game's concerned
Just hors-de-com-bat.
Ah, somewhere in this bonnie land
The pipes skirl a' the day,
An' somewhere lads and lassies shout
An' men are passing gay.
But they're awfu' dour in Skeebo
An' nae joy is there aboot,
Sin' the day when, like ane "Casey,"
Ould Andra' foozled oot.
American Golfer June 1909