Adam,
What's a "Randian dilema"?
Not that I am all-knowing or all-powerful, others on this site might be, but if elected or appointed, I will accept.
I tend to agree with Jeff B. about the current era of choices. Whether or not some or our anachronistic, sky-is-falling friends wish to acknowledge, there is so much more available today than was 20 - 30 years ago, and the game is much more inclusive and diverse.
So, if I was made "keeper of the game and its traditions", I would do the following:
1) All professional and scratch level regional and national amateur tournaments would be played with a competition ball made to carry 240 yards maximum into a neutral wind at sea level with a swing speed of 110 mph. Subject to my approval, each regional golf association would be allowed to make special adjustments to the ball rule in order to take into account regional and local differences relative to the average national standard.
2) Implement (golf clubs) standards based on current data and criteria would be provided to all stakeholders. These could be adjusted accordingly in the future (to maintain the consistency and relevance of the distance standard).
3) Clubs would be encouraged to hold its scratch championships with the tournament ball, but handicaps could be maintained regardless of the ball used to record the score. Like playing from different tees, the course rating with the tournament ball would differ, normally higher, than with a non-tournament ball still on the approved (USGA) list.
4) For those clubs that lack the purity and desire to be so knit-picky, do what you want. Just let your members know that their handicap will not travel well when playing at clubs who are, and that whining about it will not be tolerated.
5) For local and daily play, allow matches to be played however the participants wish in regards to which one or both balls to use. Only when handicaping is a concern should the one-ball rule be in effect.
6) Encourage all golfers to compete, bet a little, play fast, but most of all, to have fun while leaving the course in better shape than they found it.
As the final arbiter, I ask for no recompense other than just ocassional access to "America's Best". And even as a short hitter, to prove tha EGO is not my driving factor, I'll use the tournament ball exclusively. Titleist may send my year's supply in care of this website. Please have "In the Best Interests of Golf" as a straight line with arrow heads where the ProVx1 normally appears. On the other side I would like to have "Golf is a Game of Walking".