Golf at 2012 Olympics?

[Philip Gawith]

Apparently the IOC will tomorrow decide whether Golf will be an Olympic sport at the 2012 games in London.

They have dropped baseball and softball and will choose two replacement sports from rugby sevens, golf, karate, squash and roller sports.

I suppose it could be quite fun if it showcased amateurs, but you have to think that the IOC has the glamour of Tiger and co in their sights. I wonder if he will still be playing then, chasing down Jack's record.

[T_MacWood]

May I suggest you wear a burkha during the opening ceremonies and while competing.

[Ted Kramer]

I am praying that they put golf in.  I have a secret plan in place for that.  Here it is.  My wife is Iranian with dual citizenship.  Do you remember that Iranian wrestler from LA that was a US citizen?  Well, apparently you can play for a country if you have dual citizenship, and from what I hear, if you're married to someone with dual citizenship.  

Nobody in Iran plays golf, and from my knowledge of Iranians in the States, hardly any of them do either, and the ones that do all suck at it.  I figure if I hit the range for 8 years and figure out how to hit a wedge, I will be the Iranian golf team, sort of like the Jamaican Bobsled team for fat white guys

That's the plan and I'm stickin' to it!

I'll make myself available to caddy if you need one.

-Ted

[Ted Kramer]

Ted, that could be a really good gig for you if I don't put it on ebay, that is  ...I figure that if they let pros in, my matches won't go much further than maybe 13 holes or so....

You could be a, "cindarella story" . . .
And you know what I'd be good for:

Lets just say that we're standing on the 18th tee in your semi-final match and your 1 up on Miguel Angel Jimenez with a chance to see Luke Donald in the finals if you can just hang on and keep it together . . .

I look over at you and notice your breath getting a little short, your eyes really wide and dialated, your face is pretty much pale white . . .

That is when I step in and do something that caddys really need to be doing on a more regular basis, I open hand slap the shit out of you to get your head back in it. . .Nothing to severe just a good solid open hander to your jaw and temple to bring you back to the moment . . .

You'll thank me after your tap in par for the win!!!

-Ted

[Ted Kramer]

Ted, the gig is yours if instead of a slap, you crack me open a cold one.

Nae beers, nae birdies....

deal.

[Mike_Golden]

Shivas,

I can just hear the lines on Sports Center now:

'You can't stop David Schmidt, you can just hope to control him'

'Andy North, are there any putting instructors in Iran?'

'David Schmidt, of Iran, in the house at.....PLUS XXXXX'

'He drives for dough and putts for show'

'I heard that not only is Schmidt Iran's top player he designed the new, highly regarded course in Tehran-it features a template hole called...The Mosque.'

[Mark_Rowlinson]

People in Burkhas aren't supposed to drink beer....

Now, suppose London hasn't budgeted for buidling a new golf course in the East End of London, on which existing course near London would you hold the Olympic golf?

[Bob_Huntley]

sunningdale

[SPDB]

I can't believe the committee booed squash. Big mistake.

[Brian_Gracely]

Shivas,

No offense to Ted K, but how could you not consider having The Iron Shiek as your caddy?  Where in the rules does it prohibit a caddy from dropping a Figure Four leglock on the competitor, if for nothing else, to influence his decision to give you a 3' to halve the hole?

Costas:  And now we're headed back to Swinley Forest for the conclusion of the golf.  Take it away guys....

Roger: Johnny, this guy just hit another fairway by cutting the corner of the dogleg.  He's in Position A to try and make birdie from about 85yds

Johnny: Come on Roge, this guy hasn't hit a green from within 100yds all day!!  When I was playing, that type of shot was either hitting the stick or within 3'.  But this guy, it's almost like he looks at the green as if it's his front door after a long night of drinking and his wife's behind it....he ain't going anywhere near that thing!!  

[Mark_Rowlinson]

Shivas,

Just make yourself the world's No 1 bunker player and they'll know you're the real thing.

No, somehow the scenario of returning to Swinley doesn't ring true.  It'll be handing back to The Oxfordshire, East Sussex National, Hanbury Manor, The London Club.... The list is long.

[peter_p]

Dreams die hard, Shivas. The IOC voted to not add any sports for 2012. Baseball and softball out, no replacements

[Ted Kramer]

I'd gladly step down for the Shiek.
Do you remember the pointy shoes and the bowling pins he used to swing around to show off his strength?

I think it was the Shiek who took the WWF belt from Bob Backlund(sp) and then lost it to Hulk Hogan . . .I was a big wrestling fan in those days . . .

-Ted

[Jari Rasinkangas]

If golf would be elected as new sports in Olympics there should be a rule that only amateur golfers can participate.  This would be a great reminder what the Olympic ideology originally was.  Only amateur athletes were allowed.  In golf this is easy because we have so strict amateur rules.

If professional players are allowed I totally disagree having golf as new Olympic sport.  It would be as boring as tennis in Olympic games.  Who remembers any Olympic gold medalist tennis players in Olympics?  

Jari

[T_MacWood]

Regarding the burkha...if you need it I've got the name and phone number of a tent maker in Saudi Arabia.

[Andy Doyle]

Shivas,

I can just hear the lines on Sports Center now:

'You can't stop David Schmidt, you can just hope to control him'

'Andy North, are there any putting instructors in Iran?'

'David Schmidt, of Iran, in the house at.....PLUS XXXXX'

'He drives for dough and putts for show'

'I heard that not only is Schmidt Iran's top player he designed the new, highly regarded course in Tehran-it features a template hole called...The Mosque.'

I was thinking that since the Olympics will be on NBC, it'd  be more like:

Dan Hicks:  Johnny, what was THAAAAT? This guy swings like he hasn't hit a bucket of balls in a decade.  

Johnny:  I doubt he has.

Roger, let's take a look at that swing on the telestrater.

Roger:  No, let's not.

Johnny:  I'll give him this, though.  He plays fast.  That's the shortest pre-shot routine I've ever seen.  

Roger:  I'm told he he gave up on them because he didn't want to practice the ugliness any more than necessary.  

Johnny:  Nah, I just think he wants to get this over with quick so he can get in and grab a cold one.

Roger:  Johnny, he had 2 on the range and one at the turn.  

Johnny:  He needs about 6 more with a swing like that...

Johnny:  That's a swing that would make de Coubertin puke.

[Mike_Golden]

Shiv,

Thanks for the reminder about NBC covering the Olympics.  Tommy Randolph, the who directs NBC's golf coverage, is a golf buddy of mine from Lake Merced so, if golf ever gets in AND you represent Iran, you will, in the words of the great  Bob Huntley, be absolutely f**ked when Johnny and Roger get finished dissecting your game using whatever high speed video camera NBC has at it's disposal

By the way, the Iron Sheik's hold was the Camel Clutch, not the Figure 4 leglock-the Figure 4 was originally Nature Boy Buddy Rogers, then (and now) Nature Boy Rick Flair (WHOO).

[Geoffrey_Walsh]

Mike - I am told by a reliable source that the Figure 4 was the hold of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine...

[Rick Shefchik]

Dr. X also used the Figure 4 leglock.

You may remember Dr. X by his mask, which had an odd beak-like protrusion to cover his nose. Opponents accused him of looking like a duck; fans at ringside would quack at him, driving X into paroxisms of (obviously staged, but quite entertaining) anger: "Shut up with that quack quack!"

His real name was Dick Beyer. I don't know whether or not he was counseled as a young wrestler to learn how to win against wrestlers his own age.

And, yes, this is way too far off-topic, but I couldn't help myself.

 

[Ted Kramer]

The problem with the figure four was that is was reverseable.
If the person getting figure foured could roll over onto his stomach, somehow the figure fourer would become figure foured.

-Ted

[Ted Kramer]

I believe that Golden Boy Paul Christie used the figure 4 before Rick Flair.

But what do I know.  I liked Dick the Bruiser and the Crusher.

Old school, you know...

I liked:
Dusty Roads (The American Dream)
Harley (The King) Race
Nikita Cruzchef (his move was the "Russian Sickle")
The Road Warriors (Animal and Hawk, I liked Animal better)
Abdullah the Butcher
The Great Kabuhki

Jimmy Superfly Snuka was pretty cool too, but after that era it all kind of went downhill quick.

-Ted

[Ted Kramer]

And George the Animal Steel taught in a public school in NYC with my friend's dad.

-Ted

[Brian_Gracely]

But what do I know.  I liked Dick the Bruiser and the Crusher.

Dick the Bruiser lived about 8 blocks from my house in Michigan.  I used to occasionally wash his truck.  He became a radio personality in Detroit, as well as the lead singer of Dick the Bruiser Band (cover songs)

[Mark_Rowlinson]

Get back to the subject!  Here I am, biting my finger nails off in the UK, hanging on every pearl of wisdom about whether our Olympic golf should be played at Mitcham Municipal or Royal Epping Forest and all you can talk about are wrestlers (or something of that ilk!).  

Now, what about David Beckham's role in securing the Olympics?

[Brian_Gracely]

Mark,

It was decided today that no additional sports would be added in 2012, so you can stop biting your nails.  

Apparently the final straw was that most of the clubs would only open their doors to the Olympians for a couple of days a week, and only if the participants wrote an introductory letter to the club captain.  Also, they often mandated that local caddies or cart be used.