I totally enjoy the passion of this website, as divided as it can get.
I awoke from the mild three-hour slumber I took this morning in a cold sweat. I had one nanosecond of a electronic impulse in my brain shortly before I had awoken (a dream) and it was hopefully not a extra-sensory one.
The Scene: (Act I)
The brand new Hidden Creek Clubhouse
Fresh off the plane from SoCal, A&C advocate David Moriarty walks in with Hickory-sticked mashie in hand looking instantly for one Thomas Paul. This is going to be a somewhat tense meeting--Its an education of, or teaching of theory of A & C ideaology. Passionate as it may be.
Cut into the card room of the clubhouse sits one Thomas Paul. He's all set for this meeting and he is not going to back down one bit. He's got New York, Phialdelphia and even New Jersey all written over him. He's drinking a "F-ing" Merlot because he knows how the blend of grapes triggers disdain in all Californians.
Cut to the event organizer--Pat Mucci who has just recieved word that trouble is afoot. He makes a break for the card room to head Moriarty off at the pass. "They'll be no fightin's here today David--enough blood has been spilled on this subject, and we can't have it on Roger's brand new carpet."
"Step away Pat, I have a score to settle here. I'm going to show you the craft and art of hickory-shafted clubs. Fore!" says Moriarty.
Pat makes a break to go get Sheriff Hansen and his deputies for help, and to hopefully break this melee up.
The shuddered, swinging doors of the Hidden Creek cardroom open wide.
"Paul...."
"Moriarity...."
"We can do this two ways, you make a move for that Victorian /Quaker dagger of yours and I'm going to come at you hard with this John Duncan Dunn hickoried classic. Or, we can settle this the right way, back in Atlantic City at the tables..." says Moriarty.
All of a sudden "Two Ton" Tommy McNaccarato comes in, all wrapped-up in trying to settle the differences between these two. He knows its going to get ugly.
"Listen you fuck ers, you've been somewhat friendly with one another for years, your not going to let some fuck ing internet chat get you all out of whack are you? Come on dammit! You can't let his get the best of yous' both!" screams McNaccarato in a somewhat bold and brackish voice filled with the smell of whiskey and garlic.
"Get away from me Two Ton!, I'm going to tee off on TPaul!"
Moriarty pushes McNaccarato away......
Meanwhile messers Wayne & MacWood are arm-wrestling for single-malts in another room, and are totally oblivious to what's going on thanks to the strength of pour from bartender Malone... They're doing this while singing "It's a long road to Tiperrarie" accompanied by the ragtime piano playing of one Kyle Harris who at last minute, decided to attend the event.
Back to the card room, the air of dissent has gotten worse. It's Moriarty vs. Paul/Paul vs. Moriarty--the war to settle the score! The patrons scurry for the exit, knowing there is going to be blood spilled.
Fade out....
A short commercial break from our sponsors
"Trojan Man! Trojan Man!---Trojan Man! Trojan Man!" (The Trojan theme song)
"Nobody doesn't like SaraLee..." (The Sara Lee theme song)
Returning from commercial break.
Fade in back to the Hidden Creek card room...
Suddenly springing in thru the door is notorious bad ass A.F. Collins. He's going to settle this dispute. He seems to be the only one that has brought a gun to this clubfight. The name of his gun is, "Reason."
Mucci yells, "Sheriff! A.F. Collins is in town, and he didn't check his weapon in with you!" Sheriff Hansen remarks, "I'm not having any part of that--your all on your own!"
The swinging doors of the card room almost open themselves in response to not wanting to get into Collins' way. No one wants to take on this badman.
And then I woke-up..........