Best Caddy Story?

[JESII]

Either as the player or the caddy, what is your one unforgettable story?

Jim

[Jason Topp]

Postage Stamp, I have a 3 footer for par that does not matter in our four ball match.  An opponent concedes.  I look up questioningly and get the response from the group "good, good, good" and from the caddies "good, good, not good, not good."  

They had been negotiating the entire round.  I putted and missed.  

[Larry_Keltto]

This spring at Lahinch, a friend of mine has a 10-footer for par and the caddy -- who has been a bit wobbly so far -- gives his advice on the line.

My friend: "What do you see?"

Caddy: "Left edge."

My friend: "LEFT EDGE?!"

Caddy: "Right edge?"

[JESII]

We used to place an over / under bet on the cummulative score on a hole for the group and bet a couple of bucks. It can be reaaly fun and help make the round go a little faster. There are definitely times when you would not want one of your players to make a putt, a bit of discretion was needed to stay out of trouble.

I have heard this is very common in the UK, and it sounds like you can vouch for that.

Jim

[Jason Tetterton]

Similar story as Jason...On my round at Troon, the caddys got our handicap and placed wagers.  I don't know if all the players in my group were aware of it, but to see the expression on the caddys faces as they missed a shot or pulled it off was priceless.

[JESII]

Another good one Larry,

Caddying in a top caliber tournament about 15 years ago, the other caddy was a guy known more for his drug habit than his green reading. This was validated on our 11th hole when his player had a 10 foot putt for birdie from above the hole:

Player: Mark, what do you think this will do?

Caddy: Well, if it doesn't go a bit to the right, it'll go left.

How's that for covering your self?

[mike_malone]

 Portstewart--2000--    20 ish year old caddie---. I hit a 3 wood about 30 yards in the air that rolls out to about 200 yards. I look at caddie. He says " That's an O.J." " Huh"  "Got away with it!!"

[jeffwarne]

Playing Portrush and having one of my better rounds ever in the UK(I'm nervous and unfortuneately scoreconcious-something I rarely am in the UK)

 Our caddie was a DJ at a local nightclub we had "patronized" until the wee hours the night before-in fact he had come straight from the pub with libations for us to take the edge off that morning

We were all at the stage of crankiness and irritability you get late in a morning round after a late night
I hit my drive on from an elevated tee on a semiblind hole about 25 yards right of the aiming marker -I'm anxiously trying to follow it and I gasp "Am I all right??"

He looks at me and grunts-"YOU'RE all right"(then pauses as I began to feel relief)--"but your ball's FOOOCKED!"
particularly funny when spoken with an accent

[CHC1948]

My caddy at Mid-Pines last year was great....on the first hole I hit it below the cup and he told me "like the ladies like it"  I looked at him puzzled and he replied "firm".  As my buddy and I progessed through the round we heard every story imaginable...must of them probably not true.  Somewhere on the back nine I had a severe downhill/sidehill putt...once again Joe told me "like the ladies like it"....I responded "firm"  He replied "no....in the back doe!"  (doe=door)

CHC

[Mike_Sweeney]

1984 - Merrill Lynch Seniors Shootout at Newport CC

I am on the bag for Jerry Barber (won the PGA once), who is about 5'2" and I am standing next to him for four or five days at 6'6".   He was a little surly, but the king of surly was Sam Snead ! In a practice round a non-Newport CC caddie was on Sam's bag. The caddie was trying to get on the newly formed Seniors Tour. On around the fourth or fifth hole, the following exchange:

Snead, "How far to the pin?'

Caddy, "147 yards."

Snead hits the shot fat, and it goes into the bunker, short and right.

Snead, "Son, I hit that shot 147 f##king yards and it is in the f##king bunker. What the f##k is my f##king ball doing in the f##king bunker."

Caddie, "You hit it f##king fat."

[THuckaby2]

Dave:

OK, that "kid" was either you, your room-mate Mitch Comestain, or Danny Noonan.  Come on, fess up.

 

[Bob_Huntley]

This was years ago at Nchanga, Northern Rhodesia. Once a year we played a tournament where we not only hit alternate shots, but after hitting your shot, you carried the bag to the ball for your partner to hit the next one. As we all had regulars loopers it was done with great fun and a few bets.

However, there was among us one particular irrascible Afrikaaner who was not what you might call liberal minded in matters of race relations. We cajoled him into playing  by the thought that his caddie was the best player in the shack. Gondwe, the caddies name, had taken a ration of grief all year but wouldn't drop his player as the pay wasn't bad and it sure beat working underground. But this was pay-back time.

The Member hit off first, Gondwe hits an indifferent shot, Member gets it on the green, Gondwe knocks it past three feet, Member misses. It goes on like this for another few holes, by which time the caddie has made every mistake imaginable. The fifth hole crosses the Nchanga stream twice. Member tees off, Gondwe hits ball into stream, Member crosses stream to fairway, Gondwe knocks it into the stream.
Member, in high dudgeon instructs Gondwe to find the ball, Gondwe fails to do so. Member says "You're playing like s**t you may as well throw the f***ing clubs in the river." He did so and the last we saw him was running at full speed for the exit.

Of course, all the equipment for the matches belonged to the Members.
 

[Craig Sweet]

I was playing a match in college and my caddy, who always wore a jump suit and cowboy hat, got off 3 excellent zingers in one round.

The first one came when we arrived at the 3rd hole tee box. The elevated tee had a split rail fence running along the left side of the tee box protecting a 15 foot drop off on that side...he was leaning on it and it gave way sending him, his hat, my bag and clubs tumbling down the steep slope. That caused us all to just about wet our pants laughing.

Shortly, we all hit our tee shots on a challenging par 3...two balls found water on the left, one found the trap on the right and one was very long over the back of the green. As we walked from the tee the caddy piped up, "for a non contact sport, golf sure can bruise ones' ego!"....

And lastly, as we walked up fifteen fairway the caddy munched down a sandwich. When we putted out  someone said what did everyone have on that hole?  You can figure it out.....he piped up "And I had a peanut butter sandwich..."....givern the circumstances of the run, and poor scoring, this was quite funny at the time.

[ed_getka]

I was golfing as wretchedly as humanly possible on opening day at Pacific Dunes a few years ago. Near the end of the round I was so disgusted I was ready to get rid of my clubs. I asked the caddy (a good amateur golfer) if he knew anyone who would be interested in some Wilson Staff blades. He replied he didn't but he said to be sure to mention the virgin sweet spots. I laughed my butt off and a miserable day ended with me in good spirits.

[Dan Kelly]

my best caddie story cannot be told here.  It has to do with a member's 14 year old daughter....maybe 15...

As the father of 15- and 13-year-old girls, I can assure you:

That's not a good story.

[Lou_Duran]

In a local tournament at Muirfield Village, toward the end of the day of the first round, few caddies were left and the one assigned to me was probably a pre-teen and totally new to the game.  Not having played the course before, I was having a nightmare on the ultra-fast and firm greens and a course setup that even Jack Nicklaus criticized as being way too difficult.  By the time we got to the first tee, we were already over an hour behind schedule.

By the 9th hole we were on a six hour pace and my boy was getting bored a bit tired.  Since the group in front of us was still on the tee waiting to hit their shots when, I figured that we had a good 10 minute+ wait so sent my caddy to forecaddy at the bottom of the hill on the left.  I told him to relax until he saw the group in front of us hit their second shots, then he was to watch for our tee shots while standing well away from the landing area.

After a seemingly endless wait, it was finally my turn to hit and I surprised myself by hitting the ball solidly, though down the left side of the fairway.  At worse, I thought that I had a mid-iron to the green from the light rough.

To my horror, we get down to where my ball should be and there is no ball to be seen; nor my caddy, nor my equipment.  My playing companions were too busy doing their own thing, so it was up to me to find my ball, caddie, and equipment.  I did find my caddie some 100 yards fom the landing area playing in the creek.  It took us a couple of minutes to find my bag which he layed down in the tall native vegetation.  We never found my ball.  So, up the hill I walk to the tee.  By that time there was a group on the tee posing, and another coming off the nearby #8.  Of course, I could feel their daggers penetrating my back, and how I made 6 with the lost ball remains one of my most memorable double-bogey in my golfing life.  

At another course I had a caddy who was carrying double look at me directly in the eye early in the round and say something to the effect: "You know Lou, if you keep making me chase your divots all day long, we ain't gonna get along".  Apparently, he felt that I should be replacing them myself as he had too much to do attending to two players.  Of course, his expected fee, around $160 total from his two players, was not to be adjusted accordingly.  For a little under four hours of work, is it any wonder that degreed adults are now replacing kids as caddies at many clubs and resorts?  He sure could read those greens, though.

[A_Clay_Man]

There use to be an egomaniacal looper at Spy, who was on the second at Pebble, when the pro read the Ams putt incorrectly. This looper went up to the 2 time us open winner on the thrid fairway and told him to leave HIS ams alone. The pro was so upset he got the guy fired.

The best is the one at CPC, when on the first tee the baseball star told the elder looper that all he wanted was yardages from the guy. On the famous and treacherous ninth green the premodonna horizontal swinger needed the putt. He asked the looper what he thought. Well, after taking some time stalking the putt from all sides, the looper turns and says "22 feet". At which point this ballplayer says "no, no, how much break do I play?". Well, needless to say the purposely sheit read, caused the golfers next to played from off the green.

[A_Clay_Man]

Dave, Give me a break! Tiger's first go at the old course's finnisher resulted in a purposely sheit read from the caddie.

But, In the first story, the pro was dead wrong telling the am that the putt was downhill, to the back of #2.

In the second, the caddy took the opportunity to teach that premadonna a little something about how to treat people. He still has the seniority, and respect of the committee members, to the extent that they continue to seekout his thoughts on certain matters.


Honestly Dave, I reccommend that you use an alias next time your out on the peninsula. After reading your opinions on caddies, I fear Dave Schmidt, will forever be etched somewhere in the caddyshack.

[Kenny Lee Puckett]

Fulton Allem to his caddie after snap hooking his 3rd tee shot in a row:  "Give me a club.  I want to break something."

Caddie:  (Deadpan)  "How about trying Par?"

I assume Blue Cross covered most of it.


Nicklaus at the par 3 14th at Westchester to local caddie:

"How far to the flag?

Caddie:  "143, 144."

Nicklaus:  "Well, which is it?"


The playe/caddie relationship is yet another of the joys of our unique game!

JWK

[ForkaB]

I can vouch for Lou's "You know Lou, if you keep making me chase your divots all day long, we ain't gonna get along" story as was standing right beside him at the time.  This should actually go on the "how much do you pay a caddy" thread, as this guy deserved the minimum wage (Lou was tearing up the course in spite of him).  But, if you are playing on hallowed ground and the loopers think they are more important than the loopees, what's a guy gonna do?

[JDoyle]

CC of Fairfield, club championship - 1985

I am on the bag for the spoiled brat of the club who is about 26.  We are one down in our match as we stand on the 17th tee box.  The hole is a par three over the water.  He had been throwing clubs all day, but when his tee shot found the drink he just lost it.  After the five iron landed in the pond he was still unsatisfied.  He rushed over to me and pulled the bag off my shoulder and heaved it into the pond.  It felt strange to walk up 18 and around the clubhouse with the group but no bag.  The story was making the rounds when he came down to the bag room to give me a little something for the effort.  He was embarrassed and looking for a favor.  As it turned out his keys were in the bag.  I had to go down and fish this thing out of the slime - which turned out to be more difficult than expected

After finishing my adventure I returned and hid the bag.  I gave him the keys.  He asked where the bag was.  "I thought you only wanted the keys" was my answer.  He started to lose it again!  Then he marched down to the pond and started to take off his shoes and socks.  Only then did I let him know that the bag had already been rescued.

[Michael Plunkett]

Fulton Allem to his caddie after snap hooking his 3rd tee shot in a row:  "Give me a club.  I want to break something."

Caddie:  (Deadpan)  "How about trying Par?"

I assume Blue Cross covered most of it.

Allem fired the caddie on the spot if I remember correctly.


I can't remember if this is a joke or a story I read.  In Scotland, an American hits an approach shot through the green that runs down into the bay. Hoping that the ball is just on the sloop. He asks his caddie if he has a change of seeing the ball. The caddie replies, "Well, you know the old scottish saying - Sayonara !"

[Bob_Huntley]

This a repeat of one I mentioned a couple of years ago.

Twenty chaps from MPCC and Stockton C.C. took a two week jaunt through Ireland, Scotland and England playing the greats.

At St.Andrews, midway through the round our crack player stands on the tee and says to his venerable caddie, "What's the line and are there any traps there?" His man responds, "Nay Sorr, thaes nae traps there." Whereupon the scratchman bombs a ball 280 yards in the right direction. A brisk walk down the fairway and....horrors, the ball is in a pot-bunker that looks ten feet deep.

Our player lets off a triple flutter blast, the content of which went " You said there was no F*****g trap here."  The classic response was... " Nae traps Sorr, bunkers."

[JohnV]

Our player lets off a triple flutter blast, the content of which went " You said there was no F*****g trap here."  The classic response was... " Nae traps Sorr, bunkers."

Ah, a caddy beloved by all us rules geeks.

[JESII]

Adam's post #22 reminds me of the time an older much more experienced caddy and I are out with a pretty good group other than this one guy (about a 10 handicap) who relentlessly challenges every piece of advice given. On the 8th hole he asks the yardage and gets a reply of 138 to the hole. He promptly hits his ball over the green. When we get to the green the player announces it was 135 to the exact center of the green and it was the caddies fault he is now over the green. After a little cooling period we get to the 13th, a short par three entirely over a pond, when the player asks for the yardage and my compatriot calmly says "why don't you walk this one off", fortunately the other three players were so hysterical that I was excused for laughing myself.